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MSNBC Goes Full Dr. Strangelove

by

My God, these people are shameless.

Shameless, craven, and sick.

Donald Trump, that sunlamped mediocrity, his stomach bloated with the flesh of half-digested extinct species, his third-rate combover hardened to a bomb-resistant sheen  with seven layers of biohazard compounds—you know, Donald Trump–lumbers onto the rostrum of the United Nations, in one of those god-damn too-long neckties he wears down to crotch level because some cute stylist in 1983 told him it was “slimming,” and in front of God and mankind he openly threatens to commit genocide against twenty-five million innocent people.

I find that to be a rather strange thing to do.

What made it even stranger was the way this nauseating moron enjoyed himself.   Right after he indulged himself in the Oscar Wilde witticism of calling the head of North Korea “Rocket Man,” he paused for a little inward giggle–what a naughty boy I am—-boy oh boy, Mommy will be so ticked off!  And Daddy likes it when I make Mommy mad!

I won’t describe it further.  If you saw it, you know.  If you didn’t, you can imagine it.  You know—Donald Trump.  But this was acid-trip Trump, Trump as flat-out Jack D. Ripper, co-starring the entire rest of the planet Earth as the hapless Group Captain Mandrake.  Beyond a certain point, of course, his actual blatherings at the rostrum didn’t matter. Picture Trump reading a few words off one teleprompter, then slowly and clumsily swinging his whole putrid bulk around so as to face the other teleprompter, and to everyone in the General Assembly, listening to the simultaneous translation in their headphones, it must’ve sounded like:

“Do you realize that in addition to fluoridating water, why, there are studies underway to fluoridate salt, flour, fruit juices, soup, sugar, milk, ice cream? Ice cream, Mandrake? Children’s ice cream!…You know when fluoridation began?…1946. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It’s incredibly obvious, isn’t it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual, and certainly without any choice. That’s the way your hard-core Commie works. I first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love…Yes, a profound sense of fatigue, a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence. I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women, er, women sense my power, and they seek the life essence. I do not avoid women, Mandrake…but I do deny them my essence.”

Only the great Terry Southern could’ve scripted it: an American madman standing in front of the nations of this world in all his naked, toxic, Other-hating Old Glory, for all intents and purposes telling the assembled dignitaries that yes, women seek his life essence, but he denies it to them, because of that feeling of emptiness which follows the physical act of love…

…And by the way, I may want to kill twenty-five million people.

You wondered how this sickest of all sick Trump tropes would be dissected by those scalpel-wits at MSNBC.  Surely this would be an opportunity for them to have some cheap pulpy fun at Trump’s expense? After all, this is the network that employs Joy Reid, who is so desperate to red-bait Trump that she insists on pretending that Russia is still a communist country.  Surely they would seize upon Trump’s genocide threat to lay bare the horror of the entire speech.

Actually, they loved it.

Brian Williams—the man who contorted a Leonard Cohen lyric so he could rhapsodize about the beauty of American bombs—had two “experts” on to break down the speech.  And how Williams’ voice quavered with patriotic fervor as he announced them—-we are in the presence of greatness!—-“John Negroponte and Colonel Jack Jacobs.”

Negroponte, of course, is famous for being Our Man in Honduras in the 1980s, a tough job that required a lot of co-ordinating with death squads and torturers, many of whom spoke limited English.  He always played dumb when called to testify before Congress, but as The National Catholic Register reported, he “deceptively downplayed human rights violations, and played a key role in supporting the activities of Battalion 316, a CIA-backed Honduran-based regional counterinsurgency unit subsequently found to be among the cruelest of the cruel.”

Oh, in addition to his crimes against humanity, Negroponte also endorsed Hillary Clinton, who obviously shared his interest in perpetuating mass suffering among nonwhite, non-loyal Hondurans. And she trumpeted his endorsement loudly, as she did with Henry Kissinger. Not that there’s anything tone-deaf about that.

It turns out that old John Negroponte was very impressed with Trump’s speech—only Benjamin Netanyahu was more girlish in his excitement.  But surely Jack Jacobs, decorated war hero, would call out the insanity of threatening to commit war crimes in a speech at The United Nations.  And Williams teed it up for him, asking Jacobs how America could start to “walk back” Trump’s Jack D. Ripper idiocy.

I don’t think we do want to walk it back, said Colonel Jacobs.  He too felt good about the speech.  The way it showed our toughness.  Our resolve.

Our bipartisan resolve, he might’ve added, because it turns out that he too was a Hillary supporter.  And wasn’t Hillary the one who threatened to “obliterate” Iran?

Look, MSNBC, I understand: it’s been a tough week for you.  Hurricanes and earthquakes have occasionally forced you to steal time and attention from the latest Robert Mueller deposition.   But you may have inadvertently done us a great service: in real time, you helped us connect the genocidal madness of Donald Trump, via the connections of two neo-con hacks, directly back to Hillary Clinton.  Which is a fancy way of saying-—heck, we’re all Americans, at the end of the dayTo quote a great American,  “God willing, we will prevail, in peace and freedom from fear, and in true health, through the purity and essence of our natural bodily fluids.”

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John Eskow is a writer and musician. He wrote or co-wrote the movies Air America, The Mask of Zorro, and Pink Cadillac, as well as the novel Smokestack Lightning. He is a contributor to Killing Trayvons: an Anthology of American Violence. He can be reached at: johneskow@yahoo.com

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