Marjorie and Milo: A Marriage Made in…Well, Someplace

Photograph Source: Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene – Public Domain

In a death-defying comeback, radical right-winger Milo “It’s Okay If They’ve Hit Puberty,” Yiannopoulos is back. Having completed a course of conversion therapy, proclaiming himself no longer gay and presumably soft-pedaling his erstwhile approval of pedophilia, the disgraced reactionary celebrity will intern for gun-toting rightist congresswoman Marjorie “Save the Anglo-Saxons” Taylor Greene this summer.

The prospect of such teamwork doubtless leaves most normal people muttering “what next?” What next? I’ll tell you. Like Matt “Who Knew She Was a Teenager?” Gaetz’s internship offer to Kyle “Judicial Double Standard” Rittenhouse, this latest pairing signifies parlous times ahead – specifically when Trump or some Trump wannabe prances back into the white house. Then, as happened before, all the psychos will pop out of the woodwork. We may even get Ginni “My Husband Will Fix It” Thomas testifying that radical communists eavesdropped on her pillow talk. Others of her ilk will also demand their day in the sun.

You thought weirdos like Sydney “Chavez’s Ghost Rigged the Election” Powell, Mark “Italian Satellites” Meadows, Mike “Eliminate Voting Machines and Maybe Voting” Lindell and Rudy “Four Seasons” Giuliani were gone? Think again. They’re waitin’ in the wings. Drunk on power or just plain drunk, they thirst for the limelight, and if Joe “Sanctions, Inflation, Rinse Repeat” Biden doesn’t figure things out fast, we could be looking at a very dismal future. One that includes a billion dollars a month for weapons to Ukraine, while lots of Americans can’t cover routine expenses, and the electoral fury at Dems that this outrage ignites. Given this white house economic bumbling and the disaster of dimwit neocons with their hands firmly planted on the foreign policy steering-wheel, we’re likely headed for an ugly crash. Think President Ron “Covid Cruise” DeSantis and vice president Mo “Bullet Proof Vest” Brooks. And that’s the tamer of the two scenarios. The wilder one features a rerun of the Trump Show with someone like “They Call Me” Dr. Oz “For a Reason” as veep.

The problem is Biden broke all his promises and the only thing he has to run on is almost giving us World War III. Since most Americans don’t want that, this accomplishment is a mixed blessing, to say the least. But what Americans want and what bloodthirsty Democratic operatives want don’t match. As James Bovard observed for the Libertarian Institute June 10, Dems have lusted for war with Russia since the Clinton campaign cooked up the phony fairy tale that Putin’s evil machinations cost blameless HRC her crown in 2016 – a fitting fib for an inveterate war-monger like Hillary “We Came, We Saw, He Died” Clinton.

Biden “is delivering the conflict with Russia that the Democratic Party has craved,” Bovard writes. “Biden’s hysterical denunciations of Vladimir Putin have endeared him to D.C. insiders itching to drag this nation into a military conflict” with Moscow. Once you understand that, namely that Biden’s constituents are Dem elites, the veil lifts from the mystery of why his popular support evaporated. Because of that and also emptying your bank account every time you fill your car’s tank with gas, thanks to Biden’s sanctions on Russian energy.

Biden’s precious elites, many of them crazed neocon imbeciles, couldn’t win an election if their lives depended on it. That’s why they skulk around in the shadows of power from one party to the other – the public loathes them and their goals and every time it so much as glimpses them, freaks out and calls emergency services in the form of a landslide victory for whatever party the neocons don’t belong to. But these war-maniacs run the state department and maybe the whole white house, and they’re the people Biden seeks to please. It’s a very good question if such a person and such a party deserve any power whatsoever. Objectively they don’t. (And they won’t until they show the neocons the exit.) But then, neither does the ghastly alternative.

A GOP that condones fascist muscle, whose next white house occupant could conceivably pardon convicted storm trooper Proud Boys and Oath Keepers – that’s the alternative. As the June 11 arrest of dozens of white supremacists in Coeur D’Alene, Idaho proved, these fanatics have not done us the favor of going away. They’re waiting for the next fascist president to lead them. Where are they waiting? Inside a U-Haul, 31 of them, uniformed and coated in riot gear. If this news along with revelations from the January 6 televised hearings doesn’t indicate to you that some people, with GOP support, intended and still intend to overthrow our Weimar sham of a democracy, then you need to put on your thinking cap – while those of us who have already done so invest our meager savings in real estate beyond U.S. borders.

According to the Times, the Idaho Patriot Front fascists planned to riot. Well, brilliant deduction. What else would they be doing crowded in a U-Haul with things like smoke grenades at the ready? Especially considering they had schlepped to meet crammed in a truck from “Texas, Utah, Colorado, South Dakota, Illinois, Wyoming, Washington, Oregon and Virginia,” according to the Times. These are Trump’s “very fine people,” waiting for their warlord to regain his rightful white house bunker. Except they’re not waiting. They’re hustling into U-Hauls apparently determined to overrun the next gay pride march.

With shock troops like these, an emboldened fascist wing of the GOP thinks it’s about to reclaim power. No doubt once Trump or his imitator hunkers down in the white house, announces martial law, indefinitely suspends further elections and proclaims himself president for life, they will rewrite the pledge of allegiance to denounce the January 6th committee’s investigation as treason and to affirm that actually Republicans won not just the 2020 election but all elections going back two centuries.

Then American school children will be able to recite the Trump Show pledge, while cowering under their bullet-proof blankets, those lucky ducks. Meanwhile, Missouri GOP senate candidate Eric “Shooting RINOs” Greitens films himself in Gestapo gear, while a newly empowered NRA hands out AR-15s to, well, anybody, and Marjorie Taylor Greene and her rehabilitated factotum Yiannopoulos pose for photos with the freshly armed worshippers of the Second Amendment, and she babbles, as she is wont, that “climate change is good for us.” And so, I guess, is arsenic, if you’re feeling suicidal. Alternatively, Joe Biden, under the impression that his mandate is to bequeath World War III with Russia to the Dems, somehow succeeds and then we can all stop worrying about climate change, because there won’t be a climate anymore.

So no, things do not look good for those of us not afflicted with Nazi psychoses, on the one hand, or the bizarre wish to be incinerated in a nuclear holocaust, on the other. But that’s what our politicians have cooked up for us. Sieg Heil or sizzle in a mushroom cloud, you pick.

Eve Ottenberg is a novelist and journalist. Her latest book is Busybody. She can be reached at her website.