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Step Right Up to the Quadrennial Extravaganza! 

Photograph by Nathaniel St. Clair

STEP Right Up! Step Right Up! It’s Uncle Sam’s Authoritarian Carnival, Featuring the Amazing American Quadrennial Electoral Extravaganza, the Greatest Show in the World!

Narrow Spectrum Big Money Corporate Parties and Candidates!

Malevolent Narcissists and Wall Street Sell-Outs Masquerading as Champions of the Middle and Working Classes!

Elitism Masquerading as Populism!

Plutocratic Puppet Shows!

Dazzling Issue-Avoidance!

Absurdly Exaggerated Focus on Candidate Character and Qualities!

Potential Future U.S. Presidents Marketed Like Competing Brands of Beer and Toothpaste!

TAKING THE RISK OUT OF DEMOCRACY!

Step Right Up!

Watch the Biggest Issue of Our or Any Time – the Climate Crisis – Get Amazingly Avoided!

Savage Class Inequalities – a New Gilded Age – Papered Over!

Corporate Media Mystification on a Grandiose Scale!

Deeply Deceptive Issue-Framing!

Watch Superdelegates Defy Majority Sentiments!

Subtle Neo-McCarthyite Machinations Performed by Vacuous Cable News Automatons!

The Citizenry Killed and Re-born as a Corporate-Managed Electorate!

Ignore Routine Racist Voter Suppression!

Campaign Finance Miracles Invisible to the Eye!

Don’t Miss the Show!

Caucuses and Primaries Savagely Rigged!

Slithering Snakes of Neoliberal Surrender!

Dazzling Demonstrations of Militarized Policing!

Eardrum-Smashing Feats of “Non-Lethal” Repression!

Mass Consent Manufactured Before Your Eyes!

Orwellian Whitewashing of Criminal Foreign Policies Past and Present!

Creepy Candidate Eating Contests!

Step Right Up….

Thrill at the Marginalization of Public Opinion While Ordinary People Lose Their Minds!

Magical Microtargeting on a Massive Scale!

Reality-Defying Conflations of Israel Criticism with Anti-Semitism!

Easily Documentable Falsehoods Repeated Again and Again!

See Christianity Perverted, Islam Slandered, and Marxism Alleged!

Policy Platforms with Amazingly Slight Real-World Relevance – for Show Only!

Mythic Notions of Past National and Patriarchal Greatness!

Relentless Subordination of Truth to Propaganda!

Islamophobic Idiocy as Common Sense!

The Democrats and Republicans: TWO WINGS OF THE SAME CORPORATE-IMPERIAL BEAST!

Watch Fascism Creep at the “IT CAN’T HAPPEN HERE” Show (“The Hell it Can’t”)!

Fake Multiculturalism in Service to Corporate Power!

Fascist Dog-Whistling Like You’ve Never Heard!

White-Nationalist Amerikaners Foaming at the Mouth!

Astonishing Acts of Nativist Scapegoating!

Amazing Death-Defying Destructions of Democracy, or What’s Left of it!

Peek Behind the Curtain to View the Faces of the Terrifying Un-Elected and Interrelated Dictatorships of Money and Empire!

Remarkable Feats of Nauseating Racism, Sexism, Classism and Ecocide!

Ride Through the Astounding Tunnel of Identity!

Astonishingly Vapid Debates!

Thrill at the Amazing Old Age of the Leading Candidates!

Orwellian Deceptions and Huxleyan Diversion!

Infantilizing Spectacles for All, Young and Old!

Amuse and Confuse Yourselves to Death!

Step into the Amazing Coffin of Class Consciousness: The American Ballot Box!

Ride the Election Night Roller Coaster of Hell!

Graduate from the Electoral College!

(Fake Your Electoral College Entrance Exam — with Hollywood Celebrities!)

Count the Amazing Number of Times Vapid and Disingenuous Politico Say ‘Hope’ and ‘Change’!

Walk Through the Scary Graveyard of Social Movements (Exhibit Sponsored by the Democratic Party)!

Ride the Rapids of Reflexive Racial Reaction!

Match Wits with the Totally Inauthentic Opposition!

Fantastic Tales About How Your Country is Now Controlled by Vladimir Putin!

Calculate the Staggering Net Worth of the Candidates!

Place Bets on How Much Money Election “Losers” Will Make in the Private Sector!

Watch Democratic Socialists Get Eaten Alive!

Watch Live Sex Acts Between Financial Institutions and National Party Committees!

Freakish Spine-Chilling Electoral Machinations!

Seductive Candidates Will Send Thrills Up Your Leg!

Partisan Acrobatics to Take Your Breath Away!

Watch a U.S. President Eat His Own Shit – and Proclaim it the Finest Meal of All Time!

Pet Presidential Horses at the Genius Stable!

Watch Senior Republicans Grovel at the Feet of Nation’s First Fully Subhuman President!

Match your Native American Ancestry with That of Top Candidates at the DNA-Testing Booth!

See Democracy Distorted Beyond all Recognition at the Corporate-Imperial Hall of Mirrors!

Behold the Right-Wing Neoliberal and Imperialist Horror That is Joe Biden!

Recoil at the DepressingSpectacleThat is Joe Biden!

Compete in Vomiting Contests Inspired by the Nauseating Idiocy of Joe Biden!

Calculate the Candidates’ and Media Operatives’ Carbon Footprints as they Fly Constantly Around the Nation!

Kiss the Species Goodbye at the Extinction Gallery!

Refreshments Served at Mueller Time Beer Garden and the Orange Truth Crush Soda Shop

Welcome in Friends, to the Show that Never Ends! Authoritarian Capitalist Quadrennial Electoral Extravaganza!

More articles by:

Paul Street’s latest book is They Rule: The 1% v. Democracy (Paradigm, 2014)

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