FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Trump: The Board Game

As further evidence that truth can, indeed, be stranger than fiction, there was a board game introduced, in February of 1989, by the Milton Bradley Corporation, that was inspired by and based upon the personality, cult following, and commercial exploits of New York real estate tycoon Donald Trump. The game’s snappy, take-no-prisoners tagline was: “It’s not whether you win or lose. It’s whether you win.”

Hoping to benefit from the success of Trump’s recent ghost-written book, “The Art of the Deal” (1987), it was called simply: “Trump: The Game.” Although serious “gamers” found it to be a bit more complicated and hard to follow than its provenance, it was roughly modeled on “Monopoly.” The suggested retail price was $25.

In fairness to Milton Bradley, it should be noted that it’s rare for a newly introduced board game to navigate its way into the hearts of America’s serious gamers and amateur enthusiasts, and become a legitimate success. Market competition is fierce. Accordingly, “Trump: The Game” was a bust.

But in 2004, a new opportunity presented itself. In the wake of Trump’s wildly successful TV reality show, “The Apprentice,” the board game was reissued in a slightly modified (simplified and slimmed down) version, this time by Parker Brothers, a Hasbro subsidiary, and this time with the irresistable tagline: “It takes brains to make millions. It takes Trump to make billions.”

Alas, even with the procedural and cosmetic improvements (and Trump’s splashy assurance that a significant part of the profits would be donated to charity) the re-introduced version also failed. Again, the board game market is a tough nut to crack.

However, now that Donald Trump is president, the time may be ripe for the introduction of yet another modified version of the game, this one far, far simpler than the earlier versions, and one that is not only easier to play but is more focused, specific and crueler. The game would be called, simply: “I Didn’t Say That!”

The game would require 3-4 players, playing clockwise, taking turns drawing from a deck of 60 cards. Each card will have three preposterous quotations printed on it. One of the ridiculous quotes will have been verified to have been uttered by Donald Trump, and the other two will either have been invented by comedy writers, or have been taken from rantings on the Internet. The first person to correctly identify 10 Trump quotes wins the game. The rules couldn’t be any clearer.

To make the game more interesting the deck will include three “denial” cards. Each denial card will have a picture of Sarah Huckabee Sanders on its back, and the words, “I didn’t say that!” written on its face. Any player drawing a denial card will be required to relinquish all points accrued by correctly identifying Trump’s quotes, and forced to start over.

There will also be one “Adios, Amigo” card in the deck. This is the one card no one wants to draw (worse even than the dreaded queen of spades in the game of “Hearts.). On its back will be a picture of Steve Bannon, and on its face will be the words, “You’re fired!”

The unfortunate person drawing the “Adios, Amigo” card will not only be required to quit the game, leave the table, and exit the room, but will be asked to leave the house entirely.

In June of 2016, “Huffington Post” reported that after careful investigation, it was unable to confirm that any money earned from sale of The Game had been donated to charity. Despite Trump’s assurances, there was no evidence that any money had made its way to a charity. In any event, this board game is now considered a collector’s item.

More articles by:

David Macaray is a playwright and author. His newest book is How To Win Friends and Avoid Sacred Cows.  He can be reached at dmacaray@gmail.com

Weekend Edition
September 21, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Alexandra Isfahani-Hammond
Hurricane Florence and 9.7 Million Pigs
Andrew Levine
Israel’s Anti-Semitism Smear Campaign
Paul Street
Laquan McDonald is Being Tried for His Own Racist Murder
Brad Evans
What Does It Mean to Celebrate International Peace Day?
Nick Pemberton
With or Without Kavanaugh, The United States Is Anti-Choice
Jim Kavanagh
“Taxpayer Money” Threatens Medicare-for-All (And Every Other Social Program)
Jonathan Cook
Palestine: The Testbed for Trump’s Plan to Tear up the Rules-Based International Order
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: the Chickenhawks Have Finally Come Back Home to Roost!
David Rosen
As the Capitalist World Turns: From Empire to Imperialism to Globalization?
Jonah Raskin
Green Capitalism Rears Its Head at Global Climate Action Summit
James Munson
On Climate, the Centrists are the Deplorables
Robert Hunziker
Is Paris 2015 Already Underwater?
Arshad Khan
Will Their Ever be Justice for Rohingya Muslims?
Jill Richardson
Why Women Don’t Report Sexual Assault
Dave Clennon
A Victory for Historical Accuracy and the Peace Movement: Not One Emmy for Ken Burns and “The Vietnam War”
W. T. Whitney
US Harasses Cuba Amid Mysterious Circumstances
Nathan Kalman-Lamb
Things That Make Sports Fans Uncomfortable
George Capaccio
Iran: “Snapping Back” Sanctions and the Threat of War
Kenneth Surin
Brexit is Coming, But Which Will It Be?
Louis Proyect
Moore’s “Fahrenheit 11/9”: Entertaining Film, Crappy Politics
Ramzy Baroud
Why Israel Demolishes: Khan Al-Ahmar as Representation of Greater Genocide
Ben Dangl
The Zapatistas’ Dignified Rage: Revolutionary Theories and Anticapitalist Dreams of Subcommandante Marcos
Ron Jacobs
Faith, Madness, or Death
Bill Glahn
Crime Comes Knocking
Terry Heaton
Pat Robertson’s Hurricane “Miracle”
Dave Lindorff
In Montgomery County PA, It’s Often a Jury of White People
Louis Yako
From Citizens to Customers: the Corporate Customer Service Culture in America 
William Boardman
The Shame of Dianne Feinstein, the Courage of Christine Blasey Ford 
Ernie Niemi
Logging and Climate Change: Oregon is Appalachia and Timber is Our Coal
Jessicah Pierre
Nike Says “Believe in Something,” But Can It Sacrifice Something, Too?
Paul Fitzgerald - Elizabeth Gould
Weaponized Dreams? The Curious Case of Robert Moss
Olivia Alperstein
An Environmental 9/11: the EPA’s Gutting of Methane Regulations
Ted Rall
Why Christine Ford vs. Brett Kavanaugh is a Train Wreck You Can’t Look Away From
Lauren Regan
The Day the Valves Turned: Defending the Pipeline Protesters
Ralph Nader
Questions, Questions Where are the Answers?
Binoy Kampmark
Deplatforming Germaine Greer
Raouf Halaby
It Should Not Be A He Said She Said Verdict
Robert Koehler
The Accusation That Wouldn’t Go Away
Jim Hightower
Amazon is Making Workers Tweet About How Great It is to Work There
Robby Sherwin
Rabbi, Rabbi, Where For Art Thou Rabbi?
Vern Loomis
Has Something Evil This Way Come?
Steve Baggarly
Disarm Trident Walk Ends in Georgia
Graham Peebles
Priorities of the Time: Peace
Michael Doliner
The Department of Demonization
David Yearsley
Bollocks to Brexit: the Plumber Sings
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail