FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Living in Harmony With the World

by DAVID MACARAY

It’s important we speak frankly. After all, it’s science we’re talking about here. Biology. Anatomy. Physiology. Maybe a little Psychology mixed in with it. Most of us would agree that of all our anthropomorphic, imaginary friends (Mother Nature, Father Time, Big Brother, Lady Luck and Uncle Sam), Mother Nature commands the most respect. And why wouldn’t she?

Given her formidable track record and her tool box full of catastrophic remedies, Mother Nature can be downright scary. And if there’s one thing Mother Nature has made clear over the span of hundreds of thousands of years, it’s that she doesn’t want to see elderly men in a state of tumescence. She doesn’t want elderly men walking around with erections. In short, she doesn’t want elderly men to continue to get laid.

Mother Nature invented how human sexuality was to play out. Not only did she invent it, she clearly intended that geriatric impotence play a major role in it. She had a preconceived cut-off point in mind. If she wanted men to engage in sexual intercourse at the age of seventy-five, she would’ve arranged it—just as she arranged for a woman’s child-bearing years to begin with menstruation and end at menopause.

News item: Last week it was reported that the 83-year old movie star Clint Eastwood, who had recently ended his 17-year marriage to Dian Ruiz, a wife 35 years his junior, was already seen hanging out with an attractive, much younger woman. What, if anything, does this tell us?

A. 80 is the new 55.

B. Women are incredibly forgiving.

C. Clint Eastwood is a Viagra fiend.

D. Celebrity gossip dominates our culture.

E. Life is cruel.

Personally, I would put my money on answer “C.” Speaking of Viagra, many of us still remember when Bob Dole became the company’s pitchman. It’s true. After losing the 1996 presidential election to Bill Clinton, Dole, a cranky, former U.S. senator in his mid-seventies, went on national television and copiously praised Viagra for having cured his impotence.

The juxtaposition was startling. During the presidential campaign, we heard Senator Dole speak about such things as strengthening the U.S. military, overhauling our welfare system, and the importance of UN peacekeepers in Kosovo. After the election, we heard him speak about the importance of maintaining a boner. Call me priggish, but I found that undignified.

Undignified as well as grotesque. This desiccated ex-senator was simply too damned old to be going on national television and discussing his stubborn need for sexual intercourse. Just as Clint Eastwood is too old for it. I enjoy Clint Eastwood movies. He’s an accomplished actor and a brilliant director. But when is this pathetic, shrivel-assed old geezer going to realize it’s time to holster it? (and I say that with all due respect)

Also, from a marketing standpoint, choosing a guy like Bob Dole or Clint Eastwood to advertise Viagra doesn’t seem like the proper approach. If they want to increase their sales, they should hire a young celebrity, somebody whose premature impotence would elicit genuine sympathy and concern, rather than morbid curiosity or horror.

Imagine if, say, Leonardo Di Caprio went on television and confessed to using Viagra. Now there’s a pitchman who’d be worth every penny. Holding a bottle of those blue pills, Leo smiles into the camera and says, “Viagra makes me feel like I’m (wink)…..king of the world!”

David Macaray, an LA playwright and author (“It’s Never Been Easy: Essays on Modern Labor”), was a former union rep. He can be reached at dmacaray@earthlink.net

David Macaray is a playwright and author. His newest book is “Nightshift: 270 Factory Stories.” He can be reached at dmacaray@gmail.com

More articles by:
June 28, 2016
Jonathan Cook
The Neoliberal Prison: Brexit Hysteria and the Liberal Mind
Paul Street
Bernie, Bakken, and Electoral Delusion: Letting Rich Guys Ruin Iowa and the World
Anthony DiMaggio
Fatally Flawed: the Bi-Partisan Travesty of American Health Care Reform
Mike King
The “Free State of Jones” in Trump’s America: Freedom Beyond White Imagination
Antonis Vradis
Stop Shedding Tears for the EU Monster: Brexit, the View From the Peloponnese
Omar Kassem
The End of the Atlantic Project: Slamming the Brakes on the Neoliberal Order
Binoy Kampmark
Brexit and the Neoliberal Revolt Against Jeremy Corbyn
Ruth Hopkins
Save Bear Butte: Mecca of the Lakota
Celestino Gusmao
Time to End Impunity for Suharto’s Crimes in Indonesia and Timor-Leste
Thomas Knapp
SCOTUS: Amply Serving Law Enforcement’s Interests versus Society’s
Manuel E. Yepe
Capitalism is the Opposite of Democracy
Winslow Myers
Up Against the Wall
Chris Ernesto
Bernie’s “Political Revolution” = Vote for Clinton and the Neocons
Stephanie Van Hook
The Time for Silence is Over
Ajamu Nangwaya
Toronto’s Bathhouse Raids: Racialized, Queer Solidarity and Police Violence
June 27, 2016
Robin Hahnel
Brexit: Establishment Freak Out
James Bradley
Omar’s Motive
Gregory Wilpert – Michael Hudson
How Western Military Interventions Shaped the Brexit Vote
Leonard Peltier
41 Years Since Jumping Bull (But 500 Years of Trauma)
Rev. William Alberts
Orlando: the Latest Victim of Radicalizing American Imperialism
Patrick Cockburn
Brexiteers Have Much in Common With Arab Spring Protesters
Franklin Lamb
How 100 Syrians, 200 Russians and 11 Dogs Out-Witted ISIS and Saved Palmyra
John Grant
Omar Mateen: The Answers are All Around Us
Dean Baker
In the Wake of Brexit Will the EU Finally Turn Away From Austerity?
Ralph Nader
The IRS and the Self-Minimization of Congressman Jason Chaffetz
Johan Galtung
Goodbye UK, Goodbye Great Britain: What Next?
Martha Pskowski
Detained in Dilley: Deportation and Asylum in Texas
Binoy Kampmark
Headaches of Empire: Brexit’s Effect on the United States
Dave Lindorff
Honest Election System Needed to Defeat Ruling Elite
Louisa Willcox
Delisting Grizzly Bears to Save the Endangered Species Act?
Jason Holland
The Tragedy of Nothing
Jeffrey St. Clair
Revolution Reconsidered: a Fragment (Guest Starring Bernard Sanders in the Role of Robespierre)
Weekend Edition
June 24, 2016
Friday - Sunday
John Pilger
A Blow for Peace and Democracy: Why the British Said No to Europe
Pepe Escobar
Goodbye to All That: Why the UK Left the EU
Michael Hudson
Revolts of the Debtors: From Socrates to Ibn Khaldun
Andrew Levine
Summer Spectaculars: Prelude to a Tea Party?
Kshama Sawant
Beyond Bernie: Still Not With Her
Mike Whitney
¡Basta Ya, Brussels! British Voters Reject EU Corporate Slavestate
Tariq Ali
Panic in the House: Brexit as Revolt Against the Political Establishment
Paul Street
Miranda, Obama, and Hamilton: an Orwellian Ménage à Trois for the Neoliberal Age
Ellen Brown
The War on Weed is Winding Down, But Will Monsanto Emerge the Winner?
Gary Leupp
Why God Created the Two-Party System
Conn Hallinan
Brexit Vote: a Very British Affair (But Spain May Rock the Continent)
Ruth Fowler
England, My England
Jeffrey St. Clair
Lines Written on the Occasion of Bernie Sanders’ Announcement of His Intention to Vote for Hillary Clinton
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail