After Richard Westall, “I’ll have my bond, speake not against my bond” Merchant of Venice, Boydell Shakespeare Gallery, 1795 (Collection: British Museum).
The following is a partial transcript of the bond negotiating session held in the penthouse of Trump Tower between former President Donald Trump and four others: the current head of the Trump organization, Eric Trump; New York State Attorney General Letitia James; court appointed monitor, Judge Barbara Jones; and Joey Profaci Jr. of Bada-Bing Bonds of Elizabeth, New Jersey. The text was obtained by Counterpunch columnist Stephen F. Eisenman from an anonymous source; he has chosen to publish it without commentary.
Donald Trump: “Eric, so where do we stand?”
Eric Trump: “We’re getting close. I count $401,037,241.29. We still need about $74 mil…”
Donald: “Did you look where I told you?”
Eric: “Yeah dad, but I only found $3.26 cents beneath the sofa cushions.
Donald: “And Baron?
Eric: “He refuses to smash his piggy bank…”
Donald: “Melania?”
Eric: “She says she’s too old for that kind of work, and it would muss her hair.”
Donald: “And Don Jr?”
Eric: “Kimberly won’t let him do the porno; she says he, um, takes after his dad. Nobody would want to distribute it.”
Donald: “Stormy could help with that — and maybe Marla Maples, or do I mean E. Jean Carroll?
Letitia James: “Mr. Trump, enough delay. The people of New York will not be swindled again. You must sell some properties. I’ll have my bond.”
Donald: “What about this penthouse? It’s 30,000 sf, the biggest in Manhattan and easily worth $300 million…”
Judge Jones (banging her gavel): “It’s just 10,000 sf and worth a fraction of that.”
Donald: “I could sell Mar-a-Lago for $200 million to my killer friend Vlad…
Jones (banging her gavel again): There’s a rider on your purchase agreement saying it can only be used as a club, not a full-time residence. As such, its value is less than a tenth of what you suggest.”
Donald (mumbling under his breath): “You’re probably working for that loser from South Carolina, Nancy Pelosi…”
Jones: “Based on you record of prevarications, I don’t believe the proposed surety protects the integrity of the court’s judgement or the financial security of the bondholder.”
Joey Profaci Jr. (patting the inside pocket of his jacket): “Did you say you’re worried about my security? Fuggedaboutit, I got that covered.”
Jones: “I said your financial safety.”
Profaci: “I ain’t worried about that neither. When it comes to getting paid, I can be very…persuasive. I’m lookin’ at you, Eric.”
Eric: “Dad!!!”
James: “I’ll have my bond.”
Profaci: “You in the Shylock business too?”
Donald: “Is Roy Cohn here yet?”
