Emergency Preparedness for Post-Election Turmoil and Pandemic

COVID-19 should be called the Trump Virus because of his negligence and careless attitude, it has claimed over 228,000 lives in the US and is still here. And no one has an answer as to how long it will stay. Who knows, the future may bring some other kind of virus. This requires that people have a large quantity of basic non-perishable foods and essential items at home to survive long periods of social distancing/curfews/lock-downs, etc.

Then, there is also fear of post election trouble if Our Beloved Leader refuses to agree with the final tally that is not in his favor. This could result in trouble, tension, turmoil extending over a longer period.


Meat-eaters can only store a limited amount of meat that space in their freezers permit. Likewise, the storage capacity for vegetables, fruits, breads, and dairy products is limited too. These stocked items can help people subsist for some time. But if future pandemics are similar to COVID-19, people have to endure lock-downs for a longer period.

Same is true of post election troubles. Until now, the ruthless capitalists have managed transition of power in a way that didn’t disturb their superficial economy – constantly producing and selling things much more than needed. But this time a capitalist is a leader who is not only ruthless but also crazy; so the transition might look like a United States sponsored coup in a developing country.

Coming back to food, easiest to stock are foods in tin cans and boxes of cereals, etc. of course. However long lasting foods, lasting for months, that we can freshly prepare to consume are: beanslentils (Canada is the world’s largest producer of pulses; it produces over 30% of it), chickpeassoybeanricewheatcornmillet, and other grains. The grain flour, including that of maize, also called corn, can have a month to two of usability in the US climate. Many of these grains, legumes have several varieties.

Several of the above legumes and grains can be eaten either boiled or cooked. People preferring culinary spices and herbs can mix it during the boiling/cooking process or can add it once boiled/cooked. Recipes/methods of how to cook can be found in articles and videos on internet.

Then there are nuts such as almonds, pistachios, walnuts, acorns which have a long life and can be used in political/pandemic emergencies.

Anal hygiene

During the beginning of COVID-19, there was a rush on toilet papers and many stores ran out of it due to the newness of the disease and uncertainty of its length. Australians witnessed a frenzy of toilet paper buying. In the US, anticipating trouble in wake of the upcoming November 3 elections, people have started buying up things.

Interesting fact: first recorded use of toilet paper occurred in China in the 6th century CE.

In 589 CE, Yan Zhitui (531–591) said the following:

“Paper on which there are quotations or commentaries from the Five Classics or the names of sages, I dare not use for toilet purposes.”

An Arab traveler in 851 CE noted:

“…they [the Chinese] do not wash themselves with water when they have done their necessities; but they only wipe themselves with paper.

Wool, lace or hemp were the preferred means of anal cleaning for rich people elsewhere.

For about two millennia, recorded history and archaeological findings have informed us that people have used a variety of anal hygiene and cleaning materials including water, fruit skins, stones, snow, rags, leaves, among other things to wipe their anus after defecation. The Japanese used chugi or “shit sticks,” the ancient Romans used tersorium or “sponge on a stick,” which historian/archaeologist Stephen Nash calls a “toilet brush for your butt.”

It was in 1857 that toilet paper, which falsely claimed that it prevented hemorrhoids, was on sale in the US. More than half of the toilet paper is derived from old and virgin forests. To hell with the environment.

The use of toilet paper is not only detrimental to the environment but is also harmful to all those people who use it because

1) toilet paper can never totally clean the anal area as thorough as water,

2) the fecal material not cleaned by the toilet paper is carried by the carriers till their next proper bath

The people who have doubts about number 1 should first use the toilet paper to wipe the nether area as they do it regularly and then they should clean it with water using right/left hand and will feel the fecal material in their hand. Which means the toilet paper cannot clean it the way water does it. Afterward, the hands should be scrubbed completely for at least 20 seconds.

One shouldn’t be hesitant to use hand and water because, after all, a person is cleaning her/his own body part and not that of BezosGatesZuckerberg, or Cook.

Water is used in many places around the world. Buddhists, Muslims, Hindus, people in Southern Europe, Southeast Asia, many Catholic countries, many Japanese and South American countries use water; though the means may differ such as bidetlota, and so on.

Use of water in cleansing after relieving have four great advantages:

1) saves money,
2) cleanses thoroughly,
3) repairs environment, and
4) delivers one from despair as when out of toilet paper.

The rear area is used to rough and tough things and doesn’t require spring water; plain tap water will do.

B. R. Gowani can be reached at brgowani@hotmail.com