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Zionists are the Most Precious Snowflakes

Well, dearest motherfuckers, apparently I’m an anti-Semite. I know! I had know idea either. But if being a mild mannered critic of Israel like Congresswoman Ilhan Omar makes you a rabid anti-Semite then color me Adolf fucking Eichmann because there is nothing mild about me. Being an openly anti-Zionist drag queen pretty much makes that biologically impossible. When a state walls in an entire group of people based solely on race and then systematically starves them to death, I call that fucking genocide regardless of which end of the rifle the chosen people happen to be on. Pardon me all over the goddamn place for having a color blind moral compass. But apparently that’s all it takes because Zionists are the most precious snowflakes.

I say Zionists because Jews have nothing to do with this. A Jew is a member of one of the Twelve Tribes of Israel. A Zionist is a Jewish supremacist who believes Israel should be a fascist satellite of American imperialism and many of them aren’t even Jews. But apparently these revanchist goyum have been awarded the Jehovah given right to proclaim anyone who doesn’t agree with their insane foreign policy or the apartheid regime illegally occupying Palestine to be a stark raving, goose-stepping anti-Semite. And based on the limp-wristed, half-assed, back-peddling, Israel critics in the DNC that they’ve stapled this red scarlet letter to, a flaming, unapologetic, Israel-basher like me is all but guaranteed to make their voluminous shit-list. Good riddance. They can kiss the queerest part of my ass.

The most ridiculous thing about this kind of smear is that I couldn’t be farther from an anti-Semite if I tried. I love Jews. Aside from the fact that my favorite celebrity fantasy is to be Mila Kunis going down on Natalie Portman in Black Swan, most of my heroes are pipe-hitting members of the tribe; Jesus Christ, Baruch Spinoza, Karl Marx, Rosa Luxemburg, Emma Goldman, Murray Rothbard, Murray Bookchin, Abbie Hoffman, Allen Ginsberg. All of them heretics, mind you, but that’s part of the Jewish tradition and a very big part of the reason why the Jews have been traditionally despised by powerful people.

This is also why Zionism itself is really the antithesis of the Jewish tradition. The Jews have always been a rootless nomadic race of free thinkers with no devotion to blood and soil but instead a deep seated culture of rebellion against all forms of unjust authority even within their own communities. In fact, most of what I know about Israel’s criminal history comes from the Jews who continue to serve as the number one critics of that foul state that disgraces their proud lineage in their name; Israel Shahak, Noam Chomsky, Norman Finkelstein, Ilan Pappe, Gilad Atzmon, Uri Avnery. Most of the biggest names in the anti-Zionist movement are Jews, many of them Holocaust survivors horrified by the spectacle of seeing their own people falling prey to the same kind of reactionary racism that put them and their kin on one way trains to Poland.

But even these sages of historical wisdom aren’t safe from the fury of the Zionist snowflakes. They’re mugged of their identity, black balled as “self-loathing Jews”, and chased out of universities by torchlight, much like their ancestors in the Third Reich. No one is safe from the influence of the Israel Lobby, especially not women of color who seem to get nailed the hardest, double points if they happen to be Muslims. This is no coincidence. You see, Zionism has nothing to do with opposing anti-Semitism, real or imagined. In it’s current post-colonial rendition, Zionism has become a sociopolitical force devoted to replacing Jews as the West’s scapegoat of choice with their Semitic cousins, the Palestinians, and anybody who looks or prays like them by proxy.

With Israel, Jews have been simultaneously domesticated with European style nationalism and made pawns too useful to simply serve as tools to justify the police state. Muslims have taken their place and fear is the grease that makes this demonic swap possible. In the days before the Holocaust, Zionists were widely recognized by most Jews as extremist wack-jobs. The notion of a homeland was more spiritual than political. The horrors of the Holocaust however provided Zionists, many of whom were actually early collaborators with the Nazis, with the perfect historical weapon to beat their traumatized brethren into embracing an archetype completely contrary to their tribal character.

I have long argued that this is the greatest tragedy of the Holocaust. That that revolutionary tribe of stateless heretics who were so dangerous to the system that they’re annihilation was required before some cunt could take over the world, have been manipulated into becoming the new Nazis. Terrorizing and silencing dissenters. Removing their commentary from the zeitgeist so they don’t have to waste the matches burning them. And using a totally innocent tribe of stateless people as convenient scapegoats for building a racial supremacist empire on their shallow graves.

But, hey, what the hell do I know? You don’t have to listen to me, dearest motherfuckers. I’m just another jew-loving anti-Semite, so my opinion doesn’t fucking matter anymore. Funny how that works.

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Nicky Reid is an agoraphobic anarcho-genderqueer gonzo blogger from Central Pennsylvania and assistant editor for Attack the System. You can find him online at Exile in Happy Valley.

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