“Normal” Insanity and Unpaid Hookers

As we stumble through the darkness of the worst pandemic in over a hundred years and probably the greatest horror (so far) of our global lives, there are glimmers of light, even opportunities. Yes, Brothers and Sisters, there are diamonds in the dung, so to speak, fecal matter being another substance, besides those pathogen bearing “droplets,” in which the scrappy little “crown” prince of viruses apparently likes to lurk.

Consider this once-in-a-century opportunity: capitalism has been brought to its knees—or at least, knee-capped.

Most of us understandably yearn to get back to “normal,” but… should we?

Of course, we all want to get through this, as individuals, families and communities. Unfortunately, though most of us will “get through this,” the undeniable, heartbreaking fact is that some of us won’t. Some of us—untouchable to loved ones while gasping our last breaths, thrust into body bags and piled into freezer trucks—already haven’t.

But if and when those of us who are lucky enough do manage to “get through this,” do we really want to just get back to “normal”? Do we really want to get back to normal pollution levels, normal inequality, normal lack of medical care, normal bigotry, normal greed, normal sex-negativity, normal Perma-War, normal climate crisis, normal jack-shit-for-almost-everybody except a few neurotic billionaires and their crime families?

Maybe not.

Maybe this horror show sets the stage to make some much-needed changes. Maybe we can start making those changes now, before we get through it (in case we don’t). Maybe we should seize this opportunity, provided by extreme adversity, to go on a different path, a Bonobo Way or, as we call it south of tRump’s useless, racist border wall, El Camino del Bonobo.

“Oh, there she goes with those bonobos–even in the midst of a pandemic spread by being physically close!”  I can almost hear you roar. Yes, bonobos love to be physically close. They love hugs, kisses, full-frontal fornication and deep sensual intimacy. Yes, their polyamorous sex in a Bonobo Sutra of positions is an important aspect of their ability to make peace through pleasure.  And yes, right now, as we human apes stumble through the Coronapocalypse, that’s obviously not something we should emulate.

Right now the only sex that seems COVID-19 risk-free is masturbation, which bonobos also enjoy, especially in captivity at zoos and primate centers. Most of us, currently “in captivity” in our own homes, can relate.

Sex is also relatively safe in strict monogamy, which isn’t so bonobo, though we can let our bonoboesque, orgiastic fantasies run wild as long as we stay physically with one special someone (or maybe two or three, assuming all are sheltering together) we *know* doesn’t carry the virus.

Most important for our ruptured human society right now: bonobos are all about sharing and caring. In contrast with their patriarchal common chimp cousins who tend to be competitive, sexist and even murderous, the matriarchal bonobos share resources rather equally among themselves, resolve fights with affection, respond to each other’s needs with empathy and compassion, empower the females more than any other Great Ape, while keeping the males happy, and have never been seen killing each other in the wild or captivity.

They seem to know, in their bonobo bones and boners, that we really are “all in this together.” When rich celebrities say that, it’s pretty tone-deaf to regular people’s problems. Nevertheless, the virus brings home the fact that when one of us gets sick and goes untreated, the rest of us, even the wealthiest, are at risk. So, it really is best for all of us that the billionaires amongst us, perhaps with the help of a little “attitude adjustment” training, stop all their greedy hoarding and get on with the sharing and caring.

Yes indeed, the mega-donations are nice, my billionaire friends and lovers, but they are a tax-deductible easy way out. A more equitable level of taxation, a higher minimum wage and Medicare for All would be a lot better. Call it capital socialism or organized empathy. I call it the Bonobo Way.

Sure, it’s pretty pie-in-the-sky, but why not try? If we don’t, it’s much more likely that human society will become more sex-negative, pollution-positive, fascistic and militarized than less.

Which brings us to the cruel, unfair, dangerously antisocial and very unbonobo hypocrisy of tRump refusing to send his Coronavirus bail-out checks to any honest hookers. That is, in typical Trumpus fashion, he’s stiffing the sex workers.

The sagging Trumpus Rumpus may have bumped butts with an adult star (or several), using campaign funds to pay hush money to at least two: our Lady of Porno Heroism, Stormy Daniels and Playboy Playmate Karen McDougal. But that doesn’t mean he’ll give—or even lend—a dime of relief to rank and file adult performers in this crisis.

Quite the opposite: sex workers will get nothing from his $2 trillion coronavirus relief package. The Small Business Administration loan application specifically bans anyone engaged in “live performances of a prurient sexual nature,” along with weed dispensaries, casinos, lobbyists, and members of Congress.

Who cares about Congress? Most of those corporate whores are millionaires, some of whom, including North Carolina Senator Richard Burr, made money at the expense of the public by selling their stocks as soon as they were briefed on the Coronavirus in January, even as they reassured the American public that the U.S.A. was “better prepared than ever” to confront the virus. Upon being briefed on COVID-19, Georgia Senator Kelly Loeffler, whose hubby happens to be Chairman of the New York Stock Exchange, also dumped her stock just before the bottom fell out of it.

No such advantages go to weed and sex workers.

The relief paperwork even bans applicants who get more than a minimal amount of “revenue through the sale of products or services, or the presentation of any depictions or displays, of a prurient sexual nature,” meaning that publishers and retailers selling anything more than a few sex toys could find themselves rejected.

Though some sex workers can work from home, many aren’t so fortunate, for various reasons.

So, there are a lot of unpaid hookers and shut-out porn stars trying to makes ends meet right now, and there are going to be more, potentially endangering themselves and the rest of us. This is of no concern to the John-in-Chief, much like truth, good manners or the fact that thousands of Americans are dying unnecessarily on his watch.

We really need to take this desperate opportunity to make that critical leap past our “normal” capitalist insanity toward sane, compassionate democratic socialism and the Bonobo Way of sharing, caring and organized empathy. Until we do, there are many needy causes and GoFundMe’s vying for our meager funds, especially in this crisis. But if you’ve ever enjoyed a bit of erotica, you might want to donate to Free Speech Coalition emergency fund to help adult performers and other sex workers who can’t (and really shouldn’t) work now and aren’t, like a lot of folks, getting any Coronovirus crisis relief.

Sex workers are workers too! And they provide a much more valuable, humane and pro-bonobo service than stockbrokers.

Susan Block, Ph.D., a.k.a. “Dr. Suzy,” is a world renowned LA sex therapist, author of The Bonobo Way: The Evolution of Peace through Pleasure and horny housewife, occasionally seen on HBO and other channels. For information and speaking engagements, call 626-461-5950. Email her at drsusanblock@gmail.com