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Joseph, Mary and Roy Moore

Our thanks go out to Roy Moore.  As a result of his pedophiliactivities his friends are educating us in acceptable explanations for why such activity should not be a bar to professional advancement.  One of our teachers is Jim Ziegler, the treasurer of the state of Alabama, and the other is the Presidential imposter who lives in the White House.  Each offers a different defense, but both are persuasive.

The first defense is known as the “Joe and Mary Defense.” The second is known as the “Political Party Defense” (PPD).   The Joe and Mary defense appeals to those having a religious bent, and the PPD appeals to Republicans of all stripes.

The Joe and Mary defense comes from Mr. Ziegler. Addressing Roy’s alleged acts of pedophilia, Mr. Ziegler presented Roy’s critics with some historical facts that had (a) been overlooked by many of Roy’s detractors, (b) put pedophilia in a whole new light, and (c) gave it an aura of respectability that was lacking before Mr. Zeigler sprang to its (and Roy’s) defense. Mr. Ziegler pointed out that Zechariah, John the Baptist’s dad, was “extremely old to marry Elizabeth [John’s mother]”.  Although we are not given the ages of either of the parties to that particular marriage, if Mr. Ziegler is using them as justification for Roy’s pedophilia, we can be sure that the age difference was sufficiently great that had it not been a marriage, it would have been pedophilia.  Of course, Zechariah was not the most persuasive case of approved pedophilia.  That was left to Mr. Ziegler’s “Joe and Mary Defense.”  Explaining that defense, he said: “Also take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter.  They became parents of Jesus.”  (Mr. Zeigler doesn’t mention the fact that this was a virgin birth but he’s probably assuming that after the birth took place, Joseph and Mary had sex just like any other married couple, thus making Joseph a Moore-like pedophile who simply waited to assume the role until the baby was born.)  Given Roy’s zealous religiosity, it would not be surprising to learn that it is only modesty that has caused him to refrain from observing that in his conduct he is merely following in the footsteps of the parents of his beloved Lord who has guided him throughout his life.

The other person who has come to Roy’s defense is the presidential imposter who lives in the White House, a man who is himself a sexual predator who has been captured on tape bragging about his lecherous behavior.  He has created an effective defense if the person being defended belongs to the correct political party. In the case of Roy Moore, even if all the allegations that have been made against him are true, they should not, in the imposter’s opinion, stand in the way of Roy’s achieving other great things (besides getting away with assaulting teen age girls which is in itself something of an achievement as the imposter would be the first to acknowledge since it didn’t keep him from getting the keys to the White House.)  That defense is known as Political Party Defense (PPD) and its availability depends on the political affiliation of the accused pedophile and to what the pedophile aspires.  Here is how the defense works.

Even if Moore is a pedophile, his aspiration is to join the United States Senate and his opponent is a Democrat. The imposter in the White House has asserted the PPD defense in defense of Roy.  As he explained in a tweet speaking of Doug Jones, Roy’s opponent: “[W]e do not need somebody who’s going to be bad on crime, bad on borders, bad for the military, bad for the Second Amendment.” Unspoken but implicit, was that the United States Senate is not sullied by having a member who was bad for young girls. The imposter has now been joined in support of having a pedophiliac join what has been called “the world’s greatest deliberative body,” by the Republican National Committee and the courageous Mitch McConnell the majority leader of the Senate.

For those contemplating the sorts of activities in which Mr. Moore has allegedly engaged, they should not do so in expectation that the presidential imposter in the White House will come to their defense by means of PPD.  The White House imposter would be the first to tell you that PPD is only available when the choice is between putting a pedophile in a position of power or putting a member of the other political party in power. And if there is still a question of how this works, observe the actions of the majority leader of the Senate.  In November Mitch McConnell said he believed the women who accused Roy of pedophilia were truthful. He is no longer offended by the thought of a pedophile joining him in the Senate.  He did acknowledge, however that if Roy is elected “he would immediately have an ethics committee case and the committee would take a look at the situation and give us advice.” It is unclear what advice Mr. McConnell and his colleagues who have said they believe Roy’s accusers are truthful, are seeking. Perhaps they want to know if any of them has a semblance of a conscience.  Many of us could answer that without asking the ethics committee.

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