Everybody’s talking about Faith. Yes, indeed. The F Word is on the tip of every tongue of every preacher, every pollster, every pundit, every pious puritan, paranoid programmer and pontificating prude. Now that’s a lot of P-P, but we’re talking about the F-Word here. So it’s official: FAITH is IN. And all I can say is: Hallelujah! Because heathen horny housewife that I am, I’ve got Faith with a capital F. I’ve got Faith in the Power of Sex.
That’s right. Here at my house, otherwise known as the Dr. Susan Block Institute for the Erotic Arts & Sciences, we embrace the F-word(s). Yes, indeed. We are People of Faith. Praise the Lord, and the Lady (especially the ladies). We have Faith in the Laying Down of Arms and the Laying On of Hands. We have Faith in the Power of Sex. We have Faith in the Glory of Pleasure. We have Faith up the Yin-Yang. Can I hear an Amen? Can I hear an Awomen?
Our Faith is as strong as a young man’s erection. Our Faith is as strong as a mature woman’s desire. Our Faith is as strong as a lustful, loving couple’s pure burning need to devour each other in an instant, and yet cherish each other forever. We have Faith in the healing power of touch, in the glory of love that is tangible as well as spiritual. We believe that the power to give pleasure is the greatest power we have. Yes, indeed.
We have Faith in the Wondrous Vulva and the Soaring Dick, not Chickenhawk Pussies like Bush or Dickless Dickheads named Dick. We have Faith in the Power and Glory of Woman, the Feminine Mind and the Open Soul, the All-Mighty Clit, the Nurturing Breast, the Seductress’ Lips and the Mother’s Fierce Love for all Children of Sex. We have Faith in the Power and Glory of Man, the Masculine Muscle and the Strong Scientist, the Man Who Penetrates with Skill and Savoir Faire, the Man with Balls, the Man who can Fight the Terror with Love.
We have Faith in the Power of Enlightenment, the Glory of Reason, the Revelations of Darwin and Gandhi, Spinoza and Kinsey, Sappho and Colette, Mae West and Emma Goldman. We have Faith in Revolutions We Can Dance To.
We have Faith in the glory and integrity of our beautiful, fragile bodies and our right to LIVE and enjoy them any which way we want to, as long as it’s consensual. We have Faith in Life that begins when we are born, when we take our first sacred Breath of Life. Hallelujah. We have Faith in Sex that is not just for procreation (overcrowding our tiny, precious Earth), but for recreation, revolution, art, health, the expression of love, and yes, sometimes, just for the taste of it….
We have Faith in the power of sex for pleasure, not sex sublimated into war, rape, terror and oppression. We have Faith in the G-Spot and the P-Spot, our gateways to the Rapture within us. We have Faith in the Glory of Female Ejaculate, baptizing us in the ecstatic Holy Waters of Sex. We have Faith in the Power of Male Ejaculate–in the Joyful, Bountiful Spilling of Seed. We have Faith that there is a Land of Milk and Honey flowing in and out of all of us, making all of us Brothers and Sisters. Blessed are the SEXUAL for we integrate, copulate, cogitate, educate, masturbate, demonstrate, celebrate, fornicate, jubilate, and we shall inherit the Earth, and the Sun and the Moon, Venus and Mars, the Lover-Crossed Stars, Uranus (of course), and the planetoid Eros too.
We have Faith in the Glory of Freedom of Speech, even when we don’t want to see or hear your crapola anymore than you want to see or hear ours.
We have Faith in the Bonobo Way of Peace through Pleasure, not Perma-War for Fun and Profit. And though our bonobo cousins are more highly endangered then ever, thanks to human wars, pollutants and poaching, we have Faith that we can save them before it’s too late. And when I say “save,” I don’t mean saved from some mythical Hell, I mean SAVED from extinction. And if we can save them, at least some of them, we have Faith that they can help us to save ourselves.
We have Faith in Heaven on Earth. Yes indeed. We have Faith in the miraculous beauty of our oceans and forests, our fellow animals and our own pleasure-loving, heavenly bodies. We have Faith in the knowledge that if we don’t act decisively to preserve our Heaven, then Hell will be upon us-and that’s no myth–rising up in the flames of our industries, burning our ozones, as we blithely commit matricide, laying waste to our Heavenly Mother, the Earth.
And yea, though our prognosis is bleak
Though our Nation has been Hoodwinked by Hoodlums who are putting Human Beings in Hoods, who have put most of us into the virtual Hoods of a Faith-Based, Fear-Induced Stupor;
Though our Brothers and Sisters over in ancient Mesopotamia are dying and killing en masse in our name;
Though our personal and sexual rights and civil liberties are being threatened, amended, abused and overruled;
Though crazed fundamentalist thugs of the three major monotheistic religions who think nothing of chopping off your head on the one hand or bombing your entire village on the other–seem to be running the world-both sides with God On Their Side;
And though these same fundy-thugs seem to have the rest of us regular sexual folks shackled like Christ to their Crosses of Torture, Bigotry, Superstition, Terror and War;
STILL we cling to our Faith, the Faith of our Conscience, our Soul and our Libido, our faith in the healing, therapeutic, awakening powers of sex, and in the miraculous glory of SHARING the pleasures of the world with all Children of Sex.
And we all are Children of Sex. We may or may not be Children of God, Jesus, Allah, Krishna, Buddha or Isis, but, until we start cloning ourselves, we are all Children of Sex. Amen and Awomen.
These are Dark Times, Brothers and Sisters, Lovers and Sinners. But these are not End Times. We have Faith that after the Darkness Comes the Dawn, after the Dark Ages came the Renaissance, after the Frigid 50s came the Sexual Revolution, and after these dark times, the pendulum will swing back to sanity, back to sex, back to clean air, love and liberty. In the Mean Time, in the Darkness, we make fires, we make art, we make signs, we make waves, we make love…
And this here is Lovemaking Central, Brothers and Sisters, where we are Faith Healers, Snake Handlers and Squirt-Baptists. Yes indeed. We got your Faith RIGHT HERE. This is a Ministry of Sex. This is a Faith-Based Program we got going here at the Dr. Susan Block Institute (though we receive no government grants). This is Church. This is Synagogue. This is Mosque. This is Temple. This is Sanctuary. This is a House of Worship that we call the Womb Room, where it’s warm inside, where we divine the Goddesses and the Gods within our sexual selves. This is a Safe House in the Soul of Downtown LA, where we, in turns, wait out and do our damnedest to thwart the terror and the horrors of our leaders and some of our neighbors. This is a Theater of Eros to offset the Theater of Cruelty playing all around us. This is a laboratory where we investigate the many splendored aspects of human sexuality in ways as old as life itself and new as the newest technology, the technology that brings me to you, opening our hearts and our minds and our legs to each other, making us intimate in an instant, from your bed, couch or prayer rug to mine. This is a Mission, Brothers and Sisters, where we have FAITH in YOU, because we have FAITH in SEX.
Does that make sense? I don’t know. But It doesn’t matter. FAITH doesn’t have to make sense.
Dr. Susan Block is a sex educator, cultural commentator, host of The Dr. Susan Block Show and author of The 10 Commandments of Pleasure. This column was extrapolated from her monologue “Faith-Based Sex” broadcast live on December 4, 2004 on The Dr. Susan Block Show. Visit her website at http://www.drsusanblock.com
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© December 22, 2004, Dr. Susan Block. For reprint rights, please contact firstname.lastname@example.org