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Sorry Lefties, Your Impeachment is Bullshit

The ongoing impeachment of one Donald J. Trump is bullshit. There, I said it and I’ll say it again just to make sure you heard me right. This impeachment is fucking bullshit, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise. I don’t care if this makes me a bad leftist or a bad libertarian or whatever, its the stone cold honest truth and I stand by it.

The left has poured so much of their identity into apposing Trump for the very sake of apposing Trump that they’ve lost all touch with reality. Their entire identity has become as defined by this moronic ass-wipe as his unblinking supporters. The Resistance has become a mirror image of what they despise, a pack of hyperventilating paranoid deplorables who have lost themselves 5 miles up their own asshole after crashing the Hybrid in their own fucking shit. They’re a bunch of inconsolable babies and they desperately need a good slap on the ass to clear their throats.

This isn’t to say I’m defending Trump. Not by a long shot. If it were up to me, he’d be in shackles at the Hague, answering for the cold-blooded murder of little Nora al-Awlaki and his putrid children’s concentration camps on the border. Trump can burn in hell. What I hate is this Ukrainegate nonsense. Just like Russiagate, it’s little more than a hodgepodge of rumors and second-hand gossip being trafficked by the only class of people more deplorable than Trump. What’s worse is that the entire spectacle is so obviously a complete and total farce designed to self-destruct just in time for that other complete and total farce known as the 2020 Election.

The Democrats know full well that this media circus will die on the vine once it reaches the GOP packed Senate, but they also know that it will drive the campaign conversation away from anything mildly resembling the radical change that their loverboys Joe Biden and Mayor Pete have zero intention of delivering on, while keeping the irate electorate distracted by empty partisan shit-slinging. This suits Trump just fine as well. He gets to play the anti-authoritarian martyr that Middle America relates too, even while he robs them blind and sends their sons and daughters to die in a dusty oilfield.

As for the facts, I’ve been looking and they’re few and far between. It certainly appears that Trump was conducting something sleazy in Ukraine but, for all the bitching about our president’s conspiracy theories, that is essentially that what the foundation of Trump’s accuser’s arguments amounts to, a colossal labyrinth of state sponsored conspiracy theories. The conspiracy theory that Russia interfered with our elections in any meaningful way based on the accusations of our notoriously corrupt intelligence community, who continues to deny the American people access to their sources. The conspiracy theory that Russia is at war with Ukraine, rather than simply providing aid to ethnic Russian rebels defending their independence. The conspiracy theory that Ukraine itself is anything but a glorified NATO rump state governed very poorly by a grab-bag of neoliberal banksters and openly Russophobic neo-Nazis.

This has been the corn in the gigantic shit that Adam Schiff’s squad of disgruntled spooks has pushed out on congress over the last few weeks, and these are the people trying to convince us that they heard from a friend of a friend of a friend that Trump committed impeachable offenses. Pardon me all over the place for being less than convinced by a group of people who are clearly as divorced from reality as the president we both despise. Who am I supposed to believe, the scumbag or the scumbag? Maybe I should just plead the Fifth.

This problem is bigger than Trump though. The biggest problem lies in the fallacy of the system itself. Our bespectacled law professors pontificate on high from their ivory towers about the existential threat to our democracy, but what democracy? The little man in the White House didn’t even win the popular vote and the Articles of Impeachment written by our Founding Fathers are left so vague that you could make a half-decent argument that the Donald’s comb-over constitutes an impeachable offense. The truth is, that every president since at least Wilson has been guilty as sin of high crimes and misdemeanors and the earlier ones are guilty of far worse.

Funny how these stately constitutionalists don’t seem to possess the same moral outrage towards Thomas Jefferson’s rape of his child property as they do for Trump’s quid pro quo. Noam Chomsky accurately pointed out that every single man who’s ever occupied the Oval Office would be hanged if held to the standards of the Nuremberg Tribunals. Why only draw the line with Trump? And why do so without the democratic cache of a popular referendum? Will Mike Pence or Nancy Pelosi really be a step in the right direction? Or is this really about those missiles Mr. Schiff wants to unload on Ukraine for his sponsors in the military industrial complex?

This country needs more than an impeachment, dearest motherfuckers. It needs democracy, real fucking democracy of the direct and Bookchinite variety, and I don’t think we’ll get with anything less than a revolution, a real fucking revolution of the proletariat and Shays variety. Sorry fellow lefties, but your precious little impeachment is bullshit. Get over it.

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Nicky Reid is an agoraphobic anarcho-genderqueer gonzo blogger from Central Pennsylvania and assistant editor for Attack the System. You can find her online at Exile in Happy Valley.

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