My Favorite Conspiracy Theory 

My favorite conspiracy theory —
Which was Blaise Pascal’s as well — is that
The planet’s not round
And the planet’s not flat
The planet’s not even a planet
What just may be the way things are’s
That you and I and everyone —
Connie and Maury, and Robert Horry —
We are all in purgatory
Who’s to say?
Some claim to know though
That’s not really possible
At times it seems so obvious
That everyone’s already dead
And each encounter is a test
As the world burns and melts
Like a grilled cheese sandwich


Elliot Sperber is a writer, attorney, and adjunct professor. He lives in New York City and can be reached at and on twitter @elliot_sperber