Brett Kavanaugh, do you go to confession? Frequently? On an occasional basis? Recently? Why do I ask? For you, this should be a time of soul-searching, of self-inquiry, of looking afresh at who you are and how you got here. Confess is the first step in an act of renewal and redemption.
You are a man in anguish. Your face reflects inner torment. For you have been confronted with truths that your conscious self cannot bear. The resurrected past has become a burden that cannot be carried by one weakened by doubt – doubt about the person you have cultivated all these years, the person whom you came to think was the true and genuine Brett Kavanaugh. From the depths of your soul has reappeared another part of you, misdeeds long thought buried – impulses that scare you. They haunt you at the very moment when you were on the brink of life’s fulfillment and confirmation of the fabricated Brett Kavanaugh.
You are in a state of spiritual shock. And denial. So you do not see this as an occasion of trial and testing. Instead, your reaction is to lash out at all who you blame for a dirty trick played on you – not by fate or God in just recompense for your Sins, but by enemies real or imagined. The Clintons, who you yourself – 20 years ago – chose to be the lightening rod for releasing the passions that were still lodged somewhere in your innermost being. The ‘Democrats’ conjured in your fevered mind as the persecutor and nemesis. The lady Senator before you who dared remind you of the belligerent drunk who for years you were – and a part of you that still is there. All are the fomenters of the fear and anger that contorts your mind and face. Only the culpable party escapes your fury. Yourself. For you are the author of your current torment.
For more than 30 years you sought to hide from the foul acts that you committed – from the self who shamed you, from that person who you sense is remains smoldering somewhere in you. You never considered contrition, repentance and redemption as you had been taught by the priests, by your parents.. That, too, is a source of shame. Instead, you tried to escape through a life of striving & ambition
Yet this shadow was a constant presence. You played hide and seek with it – not just because of latent guilt feelings but because the impulse to Sin had survived.
Hence, who relished being Ken Starr’s right hand man in bringing down the arch voluptuary Bill Clinton – whose sins of the flesh were compounded by his impunity. By the willingness of his partners in Sin. You pressed Starr to seek more and more graphic details of what the pair did. Was this to strengthen your self-control by confronting and defeating temptation as had Christ in the Wilderness? Or did it provide some kind of referred gratification?
Hence, you spent years clerking for the now defrocked judge Alex Kozinski –, the aficionado of pornography, who forced his female assistants to stand by his side viewing it – and who shared it with his entire staff via his “Easy Rider Gag List” – including Brett Kavanaugh. Yet you skirted the question of your knowledge about it posed by Senator Chris Coons. To test your resistance to Temptation or for subliminal gratification?
Hence, you are known to prefer attractive female clerks who are ‘outgoing’ and communicate this preference to Yale Law School professors in a position to channel prize graduates to you. Was this also a method for steeling yourself against temptation?
Hence, you have argued that birth control is a form of abortion – therefore, a mortal sin, which just might become the subject of legal restriction. Is this what you practiced – as a teenager, as a married man, or as someone engaged in futile retroactive compensation for past misdeeds?
Today – before this committee, before your countrymen – you are as a man possessed. Your tortured soul is wrestling with contradictions that have tangled you into knots. You may still gain a seat on the Supreme Court. You never will gain the far greater prize of a man at peace with his own soul. It is for you to set your future course.
SCRIPTURE tells us: “Repent* therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out.” – PETER the Apostle.
JESUS the CHRIST preached that It is never too late – for the Lord God is all Merciful toward those of His Creation.
PROVERBS: “Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper, but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy”.[Pr. 28:13]
* Repentance is the activity of reviewing one’s actions and feeling contrition or regret for past wrongs, which is accompanied by commitment to change for the better. Today, it is generally seen as involving a commitment to personal change and the resolve to live a more responsible and humane life. In other words, being sorry for one’s misdeeds.
** In 2008, The Los Angeles Times revealed Kozinski “maintained a publicly accessible website featuring sexually explicit photos and videos.” His behavior included his circulations of sexually explicit emails via his “Easy Rider Gag List.”
Kozinski would call clerk Heidi Bond into his office, pull up pornography on his computer, and ask if she thought it was photo-shopped or if it aroused her sexually, interrogating her about why it did not.
Kozinski was a close friend of Justice Anthony Kennedy who, in turn, recommended Brett Kavanaugh as his replacement