The Second Amendment

It’s quite understandable that you want to be able to defend your loved ones by exercising your God-given Second Amendment right to shoot any bad guy who invades your home.  But please make sure you stick to what the 1791 Second Amendment actually says: “A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.”

We have of course no doubt whatever that you’re a member of a well regulated Militia, necessary to the security of a free State, plus a dab hand with a 1791 musket, which we’re equally certain you are adept at loading and firing. Nothing to it. First, you half-cock the piece, then with your teeth you tear open the paper cartridge containing the ball and powder charge, open the pan of the lock, prime the pan with a small amount of powder and close it. Next, you pour the rest of the powder down the barrel, place the ball and paper wadding in the muzzle and ram them home with your ramrod, being careful to seat the ball firmly, but not too tightly, on the powder charge. Finally, you bring the piece to full cock. Voilà! Your musket is now ready to fire. And all in less than a minute.

[One tiny little caveat: your gun-toting home invader will most likely be brandishing a 600-rounds-a-minute Kalashnikov Automatic AK-47 Assault Weapon with a bump fire stock, which can fire ten bullets a second, giving him or her a slight advantage over your eighteenth-century musket.]

But in spite of this minor qualification, as you often point out, “Weapons are life savers.” To confirm this, we need only take a look at the totally specious opposing statistics put out by the World Health Organization and the American Journal of Medicine: “The US accounts for 82% of all gun deaths across the developed world, 90% of all women killed, and 92% of young people between ages 15 and 24 who are shot by guns. Not to mention the mass shootings that take place every day in America, killing some 36,000 of our citizens per annum.”

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The same old horse feathers we’ve come to expect from tree-hugging, bleeding-heart socialists in Andorra, Australia, Austria, Belgium, Bermuda, Canada, Chile, Denmark, the Faroe Islands, Finland, France, Germany, Greece, the Holy See, Hungary, Iceland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Liechtenstein, Luxemburg, Malta, Monaco, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Portugal, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan and the United Kingdom, who have almost no guns at all.

Finally, apart from their indispensable role in saving us from rape, robbery, murder and mayhem, guns are also indispensable when we go hunting, not because we are hungry, but simply because like all red-blooded Americans we enjoy killing defenseless animals.

Yes, indeed, all you Second Amendment lovers are right on target, and thanks to you and your more than 300 million guns, we Americans are surely the wisest, luckiest and safest people in the world!

From my book, “Got a Couple of Minutes? Two Hundred 500-word stories.”

More articles by:

David Stansfield is a former PBS writer-producer and the author of “Take Nothing For Granted,” a thriller set against the backdrop of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

Weekend Edition
March 16, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Michael Uhl
The Tip of the Iceberg: My Lai Fifty Years On
Bruce E. Levine
School Shootings: Who to Listen to Instead of Mainstream Shrinks
Mel Goodman
Caveat Emptor: MSNBC and CNN Use CIA Apologists for False Commentary
Paul Street
The Obama Presidency Gets Some Early High Historiography
Kathy Deacon
Me, My Parents and Red Scares Long Gone
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Rexless Abandon
Andrew Levine
Good Enemies Are Hard To Find: Therefore Worry
Jim Kavanagh
What to Expect From a Trump / Kim Summit
Ron Jacobs
Trump and His Tariffs
Joshua Frank
Drenched in Crude: It’s an Oil Free For All, But That’s Not a New Thing
Gary Leupp
What If There Was No Collusion?
Matthew Stevenson
Why Vietnam Still Matters: Bernard Fall Dies on the Street Without Joy
Robert Fantina
Bad to Worse: Tillerson, Pompeo and Haspel
Brian Cloughley
Be Prepared, Iran, Because They Want to Destroy You
Richard Moser
What is Organizing?
Scott McLarty
Working Americans Need Independent Politics
Rohullah Naderi
American Gun Violence From an Afghan Perspective
Sharmini Peries - Michael Hudson
Why Trump’s Tariff Travesty Will Not Re-Industrialize the US
Ted Rall
Democrats Should Run on Impeachment
Robert Fisk
Will We Ever See Al Jazeera’s Investigation Into the Israel Lobby?
Kristine Mattis
Superunknown: Scientific Integrity Within the Academic and Media Industrial Complexes
John W. Whitehead
Say No to “Hardening” the Schools with Zero Tolerance Policies and Gun-Toting Cops
Edward Hunt
UN: US Attack On Syrian Civilians Violated International Law
Barbara Nimri Aziz
Iraq Outside History
Wilfred Burchett
Vietnam Will Win: The Long Hard Road
Victor Grossman
Germany: New Faces, Old Policies
Medea Benjamin - Nicolas J. S. Davies
The Iraq Death Toll 15 Years After the US Invasion
Binoy Kampmark
Amazon’s Initiative: Digital Assistants, Home Surveillance and Data
Chuck Collins
Business Leaders Agree: Inequality Hurts The Bottom Line
Jill Richardson
What We Talk About When We Talk About “Free Trade”
Eric Lerner – Jay Arena
A Spark to a Wider Fire: Movement Against Immigrant Detention in New Jersey
Negin Owliaei
Teachers Deserve a Raise: Here’s How to Fund It
Kollibri terre Sonnenblume
What to Do at the End of the World? Interview with Climate Crisis Activist, Kevin Hester
Kevin Proescholdt
Secretary of Interior Ryan Zinke Attacks America’s Wilderness
Franklin Lamb
Syrian War Crimes Tribunals Around the Corner
Beth Porter
Clean Energy is Calling. Will Your Phone Company Answer?
George Ochenski
Zinke on the Hot Seat Again and Again
Lance Olsen
Somebody’s Going to Extremes
Robert Koehler
Breaking the Ice
Pepe Escobar
The Myth of a Neo-Imperial China
Graham Peebles
Time for Political Change and Unity in Ethiopia
Terry Simons
10 American Myths “Refutiated”*
Thomas Knapp
Some Questions from the Edge of Immortality
Louis Proyect
The 2018 Socially Relevant Film Festival
David Yearsley
Keaton’s “The General” and the Pernicious Myths of the Heroic South