It was the perfect plot for a desperate hour. It was 2019 going on 2020 and the Clintonians who had run the Democratic Party since the early nineties were on the cusp of losing the parties presidential primary to a 300-year-old pseudo-socialist lawn gnome named Bernie Sanders. He was a partisan pushover going way back but his supporters terrified the DNC’s neoliberal base by insisting that they actually do shit besides jerking off Jeff Bezos at Bay Area wine tastings. They couldn’t have this. They needed a new Obama to keep the kids distracted with empty overtures to identity politics while the self-appointed adults kept cutting deals with Wall Street and blowing up the Third World. But every shiny new puppet that this malignant wing of the party tried to push on the youngsters, from Booker to Buttigieg, just kept getting rejected in favor of that grouchy old social democrat from Vermont. The only other candidate who somehow held his own was a fossil named Joe Biden who might have been perfect if he didn’t have more skeletons in his crawl space than John Wayne Gacy and wasn’t disintegrating faster than an Indiana Jones Nazi before the Arc of the Covenant.
They would need a ringer. Biden was chosen as Obama’s running mate back in 2008 to comfort the parties covert closet racists and now they needed the opposite. While the future of neoliberalism did require a minority face, the DNC didn’t so much as pick Kamala Harris because she was a woman of color as they did because Joe Biden was essentially a career white supremacist responsible for passing many of the laws that the parties target demographic was in the streets protesting against. Their only hope of beating both Sanders and Trump was milking millennial’s irrational nostalgia for the Obama years by teaming the old Dixiecrat up with another biracial ceiling smasher whom they could groom to take the reigns from Biden once her White House experience rendered her sufficiently presidential and Alzheimer’s rendered Biden sufficiently vegetable. It was the perfect plot for a desperate hour, and it won both the Clintonians another sketchy win over the Sandernistas and the Democrats another four years in the White House. There was just one problem; the longer the public spent with Kamala the neoliberal wunderkind, the less they liked her.
A little over a year after their presidential coup and the Democratic Party is freaking the fuck out in bat country. After a century of devoted service to the military-industrial complex, Biden has done the unthinkable and pulled a Kennedy by finally pulling us the fuck out of Afghanistan. Perhaps the old bastard felt the Reaper’s breath and decided he didn’t want to join his drinking buddies in the Klan in hell after all. Nobody knows. But all the stupid people are pissed, including Biden’s cheerleaders over at CNN. Biden’s poll numbers have dipped below 50% for the first time in his carefully choreographed White House and his heir apparent, Kamala Harris, is doing even worse, with Rasmussen finding that only 43% of those polled found her qualified while a whopping 55% found her unqualified. Democrats and Republicans alike have made themselves perfectly clear; with Biden coming apart at the seams, everybody hates Kamala Harris and the Democrats are up shit creek without a paddle in sight.
But why? Most right-wing pundits put the blame squarely on her performance or lack thereof, but an overwhelming amount of Americans still support leaving Afghanistan even if they believe the Biden/Harris administration did a shitty job of pulling it off. Naturally, most left-wing pundits put the blame on the notion that we’re all just a bunch of chauvinist pigs, but previous polls found that more men found Kamala favorable than women. But if not sexism or Afghanistan, then what? The harsh reality that the Democrats need to face is that Kamala Harris is simply just pathologically unlikable. She is a genuinely shitty human being with the emotional intelligence of a sea cucumber and she lacks the Obamaite skills to cover it up with charm and feel-good catchphrases.
A big part of why the DNC fell for Kamala is that she is a political shapeshifter. She spent the first half of her career as California’s top cop, using her position first as DA of San Francisco and then as the state’s attorney general to throw tens of thousands of minorities into the jaws of the prison industrial complex for largely non-violent drug offenses. She locked up parents whose kids failed to show up to California’s notoriously heinous public schools and threw transwomen into men’s prisons before denying their basic medical rights. Kamala got rich off the fact that Black lives don’t matter and then turned an about-face when she joined Congress by selling herself as the countries wokest sitting senator. A lot of people forget that Tulsi Gabbard nearly single-handedly decapitated Kamala’s presidential campaign in five minutes by bringing up these inconvenient truths, and the power brokers of the DNC and the mainstream media honestly believed they could sell this flip-flopping psychopath to us a second time.
The arrogance of the elites in this country honestly never ceases to disgust me. Rome could be burning and they would bitch about the thermostat with cocktails in their hands. They tried to pull this same shit with their darling Hillary twice and they still don’t fucking get it. Most Americans didn’t vote for a ghastly crook like Trump because they’re racist. They voted for the candidate that made you shriek the loudest because they hate you. Many of the same people would have gladly voted for Bernie for the same damn reason and both Bernie and Trump are cowards who generally do what they’re told by the war machine but you can’t stand them because you can’t stand the reality that the plebeians don’t want to see their arrogant masters in power. Americans hate Kamala Harris because Americans hate Washington. You’re never going to win back their love, so just sell them false rebels instead. It might buy you a few decades before they catch on and bring back the guillotines.