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The Execution of Osama bin Laden

Osama Bin Laden is finally captured alive and is brought to America for justice. He is found guilty by a military tribunal and the sentence is death, by hanging. There are cameras in the “courtroom” and CNN’s audience ratings triple that of the O.J. Simpson trial.

Before the sentence is administered, bin Laden is put on a tour of major population centers for public pillory. Millions file by the hapless terrorist kingpin, just out of spitting and pissing range, in football stadiums and parks across the land. They chant and scream hatred and retribution. A coffee-table book of photographs of this tour, Bin Laden in America, is a bestseller that Christmas season.

Execution day. The long-awaited “E-Day”. September 11, 2002. Yankee Stadium in Bronx, N.Y. More than 60,000 pony up $1000 each to witness the event. Scaffolding is erected near second base. “The Star Spangled Banner”, “America the Beautiful” and “God Bless America” are duly sung.

Millions across the country have paid $500 to watch live on closed-circuit television. Images of the crumbling World Trade Center twin towers flicker on the stadium Jumbotron. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld gives the ceremonial “first pitch”, a grave incantation against terrorism which includes a warning to Saddam Hussein.

A m?lange of state, local and federal politicians flock to the keystone sack lynchtower for “pre-game” photo op and sound bite. Rudolf Guliani, no longer mayor of New York City but still “Mayor of America,” and President George W. Bush jointly trip the lever which sends bin Laden dangling to his death. The moment is greeted by a 30-minute non-stop standing ovation, causing Joe DiMaggio to stir in his grave in envy.

Within weeks, a video of the proceedings, “Present at the Execution”, sets record sales.

America’s New War continues…

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