Photographer Unknown, Desk, Chairs and Wastepaper Bin, Oval Office, n.d. Library of Congress.
The following document was distributed to senior White House officials by a grants manager from the Office of Management and Budget (OMB). I obtained it from a member of the janitorial staff at the White House, recently dismissed after 20 years of service, for wearing a uniform judged by her supervisor to be “suspiciously green.” She retrieved the sheet of paper – crunched-up and stained with ketchup — from a wastepaper bin in the Oval Office. She wishes to remain anonymous.
Partial List of Approved Federal Grants in Support of Environmental Protection and Community Resilience (Memorandum 25-14)
Pursuant to OMB Memorandum 25-13, all Federal grants, loans or federal financial assistance to state and local governments or community-based organizations are frozen pending attestation that grantees are not implicated in Executive Orders issued by President Trump, Our Leader. Grantees determined by OMB to be in violation of OL’s guidelines* are to have their funds reallocated to OL compliant grantees.
Note: While the spending freeze in Memorandum 25-13 was rescinded on January 29 in compliance with a court ruling, the spending freeze itself is still in effect.
Below is a partial list (12) of federal agencies and grantees approved by OMB and the White House for FY 2025-26.
EPA Community Change Grants:
Putting Green Preservation Society – Bedminster, New Jersey
Gasoline Golf Cart Revival Association – Palm Beach, FL.
Astroturf Conservation Club – Houston, Texas
NOAA Coastal Habitation Restoration and Resilience Grants:
Citizens Against Sand in Bed – Sarasota, Fl.
Society for the Protection of Offshore Oil Rigs – Galveston, TX
Speed Boaters Pro-Wake Coalition – Delaware Bay, Del
[Note: The third applicant above was previously rejected due to a misreading of the group’s name.]
Health and Human Services, Health Initiative Grants:
Spa Manufactures United to Cure Puckered Fingers – Palm Springs
Tar Stain on Heels Action League – Santa Barbara, CA.
Rose Prick Recovery Network — Greenwich Ct.
USDA Urban and Community Forestry Program:
End Whirligig Litter Now – Saginaw, Michigan
Parking is a Human Right – Houston, TX
Terrific Topiary Together! – Memphis, Tenn.
*All grantee organizations must be certified illegal alien free, reject Green New Deal, embrace fossil fuels, rebuff diversity, equity, inclusion and accessibility, male or female only (no gender ideology), pro-life, and anti-14th Amendment (birthright citizenship).
