Girls Will Be Bois and Parents Can Fuck Off

Maybe you missed it, but there is a second terrifying virus spreading like spilt milk across the media zeitgeist. A hip new mental illness plaguing that precious resource known as teenage girls. All across the country our precious flowers are defiling themselves with butchy hairdos and weird pronouns. It’s called Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria and it’s coming to a town near you! Everything will be peachy fucking keen until bam! Suddenly all your daughters friends will start changing. They’ll stop wearing dresses and talking about Korean boybands, and just when you pick up on the signs of gender degeneration, zap! They’ve got your daughter too. Brenda will become Brandon and start juicing up on testosterone and standing up to pee. It’s a terrible disease in the form of a fad and it was all started by dangerous online faggots like me. And we would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for those meddling heroes on the Intellectual Dark Web.

This all started with a book and a misbegotten if well intentioned campaign to censor it. Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters. The title reads like an early nineties episode of Donahue and the crap inside it is at least twice as vapid. The sad thing is nobody would have even heard of this intellectually shallow piece of tabloid psychology if it wasn’t briefly banned from Target. That stupid move by the trigger happy Karens of cancel culture put this piece of crap and the imbecile who wrote it, a desperate Wall Street Journal opinion writer named Abigail Shrier, on the map, from Tucker Carlson to Joe Rogen, playing the role of free speech martyr while the conversation has completely shifted away from the quality of her argument that teenage girls are turning trans just to be cool. This is one of the many reasons I fucking hate censorship of any kind. It all too often achieves the goal of turning imbeciles into cause celebres.

A single 90 question survey. That is the basis of Shrier’s entire goddamn tirade. A single solitary 90 question survey of parents from three openly anti-trans blogs. That’s it! The survey wasn’t even properly pier reviewed. Just a bunch of frightened bigots bitching about their crazy kids. This thing shouldn’t be banned, it should be sold as toilet paper near gender neutral bathrooms at the airport. Like most transphobic tirades, it pretends to be all about protecting the children without so much as asking for their opinion, and like most transphobic tirades, it feeds into the historically lazy notion that third genders are some kind of modern anomaly.

If anything, the gender binary is the anomaly. The notion of only two genders defined purely by exterior genitalia is only a few hundred years old. Its “science” comes from the same well informed era that brought us leach therapy and cocaine soda. The recent awakening of transgender and non-binary identities isn’t a fad, it’s a return to nature before we were all pulverized stupid by Abrahamic dogma and progressive social engineering. Nearly every culture on the map had a place for genders that didn’t conform with gonads. This doesn’t mean we were all treated well, but our tribal elders were at least wise enough not to question our existence. Now the science is finally catching up to thousands of years of briefly subjugated culture and we’re the child mutilating heretics? Well pardon my French, ladies and gentlemen, but you can choke on my man-clit.

But this is bigger than knee-jerk censorship and pompous bigots. This, all of this, comes from a culture that doesn’t value its children. As I mentioned above, Abigail Shrier wrote an entire book about “our daughters” without ever asking them about what they thought about their own bodies. That’s because to liberal do-gooders and conservative chauvinists alike, young adults don’t have bodies. They have property that belongs to their hyperventilating parents. It’s the one place where I have the biggest rift with many of my more conservative libertarian friends, the notion of parental rights. Well, I’m sorry again, but if parental rights impact individual rights then fuck em, fuck em, fuck em.

Your children are not your fucking property and they’re not the states either. They are individuals who have every right to make their own damn decisions as long as they are properly informed. Forget the fact that no sane doctor would give pre-pubescent children hormones (What good would hormone blockers do with no hormones to block?), no one should have the right to tell anyone what should or shouldn’t be done with their own bodies, even if they did fall out of yours. You have the right to bring up your kids and teach them whatever values you see fit, but by post-pubescent young adulthood you should have enough respect for them to allow them to take what you taught them and make their own decisions accordingly. And I think if they just lay off on the censorship, these daughters being harped about are doing a pretty damn fine job of it.

This crazy philosophy of laisse-faire parenting has worked for the Amish for centuries and they’re so conservative they think buttons are sinful. They give their kids a solid decade called Rumspringa to rage through their adolescents without restriction before allowing them to chose between the old ways and new freedom. That’s because they have enough faith in god to have faith in their own children. All things considered, we should too. Our kids might just have a thing or two to teach us along the way.

It was the kids, time and time again, who have lead every fight for Queer rights. Adults in the form of parents, guardians, schools and doctors stood in their way every step of the way and got blown down like straw houses. Queer people were evil, they told us. Queer people are crazy. And now assholes like Abigail Shrier and JK Rowling are telling the kids they claim to care about so damn much that Queer people are stupid. We’re not and these kids have shown us the way. These aren’t idle minded teeny boppers.

Abigail’s “Daughters” are righteous gender outlaws beating a trail back to our pagan right to exist. Every time the adult world has attempted to shove them into a box, they’ve snarled back with a chorus of fuck you’s. They imbody the spirit of the individualism that defines the better angels of America’s nature by rejecting Victorian notions of gender and inventing their own on the ash heap. Today it’s Neuro, Fluid, Non-Binary and Boi. But they speak with the voice of their ancestors who knew words like Burnesha, Eunuch, Hijra and Mahu. Through their furious individuality they have awoken the mighty spirit of third gender and we all owe them a thank you for this service. God knows I do.

I grew up scared and confused as a genderqueer girl in a boys body. I realized that I wasn’t like the other children at my conservative Catholic school at around the age of 9. It was at this age that I began having terrible waking nightmares about burning in hell for all eternity. I became convinced as a child that I was an abomination and the damage done to me by this spiritual abuse was severe. It lead me to isolate myself from the outside world completely. Post Traumatic Stress Disorder gave way to Agoraphobia which devoured most of my twenties whole. It wasn’t until I began to read about concepts like gender fluidity online and interact with the non-binary kids a generation younger than me that I understood myself enough to stop hating who I saw in the mirror.

It was “girls” who just “wanted” to be bois who saved my life, and I will be goddamned if I let some bougie bitch from the Wall Street Journal try to convince their parents to clip their wings the way the Vatican attempted to clip mine. This is a warning from an unhinged genderfuck anarchist; I support your right to publish trash and I will be maimed defending it, but back the fuck off my siblings. You have no right to pass judgement on young renegades without getting verbally mauled by freaks like me. Reap the whirlwind, cissy bitches, sow it and reap.

Nicky Reid is an agoraphobic anarcho-genderqueer gonzo blogger from Central Pennsylvania and assistant editor for Attack the System. You can find her online at Exile in Happy Valley.