Photograph Source: Robert Kraft – New England Patriots – CC BY-SA 4.0

NEW YORK, NY – The initial Concert To Kill Palestinians, first in a proposed nationwide tour to generate support for the wanton slaughter of Palestinian women and children, was greeted this evening with prolonged applause by a small yet inordinately monied crowd at New York City’s swank Zionist Club.

Despite the limited attendance, promoters Larry and David Ellison were quick to hail the event as a successful first step in getting the general public to eventually feel nothing regarding the deliberate murder of an indigenous people.

The concert was intended to draw attention to the social discomfort many of the assembled millionaires and billionaires are claiming to sense since the evil of Israel’s conduct became unignorable. Yet there was a noticeable lack of interest by the concertgoers on the actual concert itself, as most spent their time leveraging equity to eliminate benefits for underlings.

Questions regarding ticket sales for upcoming concerts on Wall Street and Capitol Hill were deemed “antisemitic” and “privileged information reserved for stakeholders” by Bari Weiss, editor-in-chief of CBS News and longtime Ellison family publicist.

The one hour concert, for which attendees paid upwards of $900,000 per ticket, consisted of two songs by Pink, a 46 minute spoken word segment featuring Bill Maher and John Fetterman agreeing with each other, and New England Patriots’ owner Robert Kraft performing an interpretive dance depicting his solicitation of a happy ending massage.