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Position Available: Leader of national political party. National Chief Executive starting 2024. Listing Number: 1-30-1933

We are excited to announce a search for the position of Leader (Führer) of a major, national political party. The party, soon to be re-branded the Grosse Alte Partei (GAP), is seeking a man or woman of iron will to represent the interests of the national racial community, as well as fossil fuel companies, pharmaceutical giants, insurance companies, the financial services industry, and the gaming, hotel, tourist and leisure industries, especially golf. The new Party name is inspired by the achievements of the Dritte Reich from the early 1930s – when they made Germany great again — until the early ‘40s, when they may have lapsed into error.

The “Party of Lincöln,” as it is also known, has been ably led over the last four years by a very stable genius whose re-election was unceremoniously and viciously stripped away from the nation’s great patriots.* The financial position or the Party, as well as its control of key broadcast media, strong popular base of support, and domination of the U.S. judiciary, are secure. But due to strategic changes within the organization, shifting priorities, and legal and financial challenges facing the former Leader, a new Führer is required. We expect the newly appointed Leader, after a successful 2024 campaign, to launch a thousand-year regime.

Location: Washington, D.C. or an undisclosed, secure base of operations

FLSA Status: Full time. Work from home, office, or corporate 747

Salary: $400,000 plus unlimited other opportunities for self-enrichment

Travel — No passport or cash required

Housing: Large house in D.C. suitable for dinners, press conferences, and turkey pardons

Additional housing: Well-appointed mountain retreat in Maryland, comparable to

Berghof in the Bavarian Alps (1916-1945) or Wolf’s Lair in NE Poland (1941-45)

Vacations: As needed. Daily golf available, but the Leader must keep one, bulky briefcase proximate to golf bag at all times.

Job Description and Responsibilities

+ Personify the spirit of the national racial community (Volksgemeinschaft)

+ Maintain world military domination and seek greater living space (Lebensraum)

+ Ensure that Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, and Muslims don’t replace us

+ Protect the sanctity of life except for people condemned to death

+ Grant interviews only to the three major networks — Fox News, OAN, and Newsmax

+ Participate in mass rallies at airports and Zeppelin fields

+ Ensure U.S. exceptional status as 18th best country, according to U.N. Happiness Report

+ Support oil, natural gas, coal companies, and factory farms in furtherance of strategic vision of climate change and Götterdämmerung

+ Dominate and humiliate a sclerotic team of cabinet members and congressional leaders

Required Skills

+ Outstanding ability to prevaricate

+ Analytic and resourceful – capacity to quickly invent or ignore facts

+ Fitness — ability to extend right arm from the neck into the air with a straightened hand

+ Good communicator – ability to read teleprompter

+ Willingness to shock and awe U.S. Black protesters and foreign political refugees

+ Has military or police experience, or else played those roles on TV

+ Is comfortable with key social media: Parler, Telegram, Patreon, Stormfront, Gab, 8kun

+ Maintain lines of communication with antigovernment militias (Sturmtruppen)**

EEO Statement

The Party does not discriminate based upon mental or personality defect. We welcome applicants with Malignant Narcissistic Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, Paranoid Personality Disorder and Schizoaffective Disorder. Individuals with demonstrated Psychopathy or Sociopathy are especially encouraged to apply.

*Abrahm Lincöln was of pure Nordic/Aryan stock.

**Knowledge of a few key words and phrases of Dritte Reich German is desirable but not essential.

Stephen F. Eisenman is emeritus professor at Northwestern University. His latest book, with Sue Coe, is titled “The Young Person’s Guide to American Fascism,” and is forthcoming from OR Books. He can be reached at