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War between China and the U.S. would spell doom for humanity. That’s because once the Chinese sink those sitting ducks called U.S. aircraft carriers, hotheads in the pentagon will want to bomb Chinese cities. No one will stop them. And then things turn nuclear. To those geniuses who say, well, we’ve basically been fighting Russia for 15 months and it hasn’t gone radioactive, I have only four words: it ain’t over yet.

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Eve Ottenberg is a novelist and journalist. Her latest novel is Booby Prize. She can be reached at her website.