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The Inalienable Right to be a Bitch

What is a woman in 2021? Once upon a time, that was an easy question to answer. Boys had a penis and girls had a vagina and nothing in between existed. Then Western Society collectively woke the fuck up and realized that Victorian Era medicine may not be the best guide to the complexities of gender identity. We realized what our ancestors knew before Christianity made us all morons. That it’s not that fucking simple. But that still poses the question of what is a woman exactly? Seeing as I’ve come to see myself as a woman, in spite of a tiny dick and an untamable five o’clock shadow, I figured I’d give answering this riddle wrapped inside an enigma a shot. In the simplest terms possible, I believe a woman is a mother and in 2021 that mother is a world class bitch.

All those inflicted with the spirit of femininity are mothers, whether we have or even can have children or not. It is in our nature to nurture and care for life. This includes transwomen and third genders who have traditionally been seen as caregivers and medicine women in the old tribes and continue to be community builders in our new ones. This archetype goes beyond anything scientific and bleeds into that inky realm of the spiritual. Women are also a marginalized class defined by a deep rooted sense of sisterhood that binds us not only to each other but to notions of tribe and community and the earth itself. And in our modern age, when all of these notions exist under threat of extermination while feminine voices remain constricted, mama has little choice but to interrupt the toxic party of modern civilization and become a fucking bitch.

To be a woman is to be marginalized. To be ignored unless you fit some man’s fetish. Women who refuse to remain silent and complicit are bitches. We are irrational harping killjoys. Shrill, opinionated, bossy, incorrigible, nagging, angry, hormonal, for lack of another thousand adjectives, we’re crazy, and in any truly sick society, crazy is nothing but a social construct designed to delegitimize the inconveniently enlightened. Women have endured generations of savage domestication that has sought to remove us from our natural place as nurturers in our communities and now we’re left to watch these communities annihilate themselves with endless wars, bottomless prisons, and environmental genocide with our tits tied behind our backs, and you really have to wonder why today’s woman’s last defense is to be a bitch? To scream and yell and carry on and piss on the rug like a bad dog? We have to do something, anything, to be fucking heard by a society lurching towards oblivion while we enjoy only token representation anywhere that actually fucking counts. Fuck yes, I’m a fucking bitch, and fuck no, I wont shut the fuck up, be a ‘lady’, or mind my fucking manners.

It didn’t use to be this way. There was a time not so long ago when matriarchal societies were the norm and gender rolls were relatively equal. Thousands of years ago, back during the hunter gatherer age, most societies were organized into what Friedrich Engels called gens, matrilineal clans where kinship was traced through female bloodlines and husbands joined their wives families unless their wives sought greener pastures with their husband’s kin. Children were raised by tight-knit communities of sisters and sister wives while men were free to get their barbarian on out in the fields and forests. These primitive societies were almost shockingly egalitarian until some asshole invented modern agriculture and everything became either property or expendable. The sacred went out the window as suddenly raw brute strength became the order of the day and anyone who didn’t serve this purpose became a commodity. Women became little more than property that produced more sons to conquer more land, thus creating the original underclass and building a template that would lead us to the spiritual oblivion of our modern society in freefall.

Feminism did a lot to wake women up to our hidden history and encourage us to become the bitches we are today. But in it’s second wave, feminism became a part of the problem when a bunch of upper middle class white women decided that the best a woman could achieve was to reject our maternal drive and succeed in toxic patriarchal cultures like corporations and standing armies. This assimilation awarded our patriarchal masters with exactly what they needed to survive feminism’s first wave; women who murder like men. Women like Hillary Clinton and Madeline Albright. Women who think half a million dead babies in Iraq is worth cracking the glass ceiling. This is how the same toxic culture that put women in chains hijacked feminism and turned it into another gruesome capitalist lottery.

Well I say no more. I worked too goddamn hard to be the woman I am today, stubble and all, not to be a fucking bitch while my sisters sell our movement out to our dying corporate overlords. I am a bitch and I’m pissed off. I’m pissed at cops who empty their weapons into children who should be all of our sons and daughters. I’m pissed off at a society that thinks it’s acceptable to warehouse anyone behind bars, especially the young and innocent. I’m pissed off at companies that get rich poisoning the planet and bombing families. I’m pissed off at a society that doesn’t value women, children, and non-binary people unless we can be commodified to sell more wars, more pollution, more big government solutions to big business problems and vice versa. And I am pissed off at my sisters in power, like our first female vice president, for selling little girls assimilation into an evil system as progress. I’m pissed off and I want you to be pissed off too.

Hell hath no fury like a bitch scorned. Try a few billion bitches scorned and tell me hell’s got shit on us. That’s the kind of feminist revolution I wanna see, and that is what a woman should be in 2021, a storm of pure weapons-grade bitch, too loud to ignore.