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Headlines and Stories From an Imagined 2021

The Pandemic is Over! As Ground Breaking new Vaccine is made Free to the Public. It was produced with complete transparency by a cooperative pharmaceutical collective, and without questionable practices. After hundreds of thousands perished, there is finally hope. Critical universal healthcare infrastructure is now in development to be ready for future outbreaks and the health needs of all people. In related news, as Big Pharma is dismantled, massive efforts underway to tackle habitat loss, overdevelopment, factory farming, climate change and systemic poverty; factors that most likely contributed to the mutation and spread of the deadly pathogen in the first place. Scientists and policymakers are hopeful that the immense profits once hoarded by corporations will aid greatly in these efforts.

Billionaires Banished? Investigators are baffled by the disappearance of several prominent billionaires who were last seen boarding a small yacht in Hawaii for a three-hour tour, prior to rough weather. They reportedly packed a few bags full of cash, and some evening gowns and jewels, before fleeing aboard the tiny ship. This comes after Elon Musk and Jeff Bezos reportedly fled in a capsule bound for Mars. The billionaires were facing charges of aiding and abetting a coup to seize lithium in Bolivia and making obscene profits off of human misery during the pandemic.

Following Massive General Strikes and Demonstrations, world leaders Agree to Meet the Demands of Billions of Workers. After mounting rage at the excesses and corruption of the capitalist class, the means of productions were successfully seized through organized dissent and sustained protest. Preparations are now underway for the permanent dismantling of the corporate, police/surveillance/war state, prioritizing large scale protections for the biosphere, immediate assistance for the impoverished, implementation of a living wage, free, quality healthcare, education and housing, support of the arts, an end to racist policing and incarceration, and the formation of the first Global Peoples Congress.

As Pentagon Budget Slashed, Economy is Revamped for the Benefit of All Humanity. Following major disinvestment in the police/surveillance/war state, money has been allocated on retraining troops for rebuilding infrastructure and communities across the country. All foreign US military bases are to be turned over to the nations where they are situated, as all weaponry is destroyed or transformed into medical and other useful equipment, machinery or even art work.  One of the last surviving veterans of World War 2 expressed his joy this way: “I fought in a war that was supposed to end all wars. It didn’t. But now my grand children and great grand children may have a chance at having a world free of militarism. A world where peace is imaginable.”

“The Occupation and Apartheid are Over!” declared one young Gazan, as Jews and Palestinians begin final negotiations for a transition to a secular, Democratic state for all people. Preparations are underway to allow for the right of return for refugees, guaranteed under international law. Spontaneous parties erupted across the West Bank, Jerusalem and even in Tel Aviv, where Jews, Palestinians and people of all ethnic and religious backgrounds were seen singing, dancing, sharing food and embracing. Related: Benjamin Netanyahu reportedly collapsed after hearing the news, while he was visiting the partially submerged resort, Mar-a-Lago in Florida, which was overtaken by sea waters recently. He was apparently with his friend, and owner of the soggy hotel, the disgraced reality star president Donald Trump, at the time. The two are also facing imminent indictment at the Hague for war crimes and crimes against humanity.

“Justice, at Last!” exclaimed one elderly Iraqi after hearing Bush, Cheney, others to face charges for War Crimes at the Hague. Erik Prince and other mercenaries for the now defunct American Empire will also face similar charges in coming weeks. George W. Bush was said to be despondent. He was last seen painting portraits of world leaders on his toenails in his cell prior to trial. Other charges will eventually be brought against Hillary Clinton for her role in the destruction of Libya, and Barack Obama for his deadly drone program.

“The Welfare of the Earth and All of Her Children, human and non, will Once Again be made Humanity’s First and Only Priority,” said one Native elder, while from the Americas, Australia to Africa, Indigenous peoples celebrate massive return of stolen lands and resources. Restoration and reconciliation ceremonies were conducted by Indigenous healers in various locations around the world, as musicians, artists, dancers, poets and other artisans joined. In related news, heads of the most lucrative corporations reluctantly relinquished their stranglehold on economic and political power, as most are facing charges for the crime of ecocide, neo-colonialism, and the plunder of indigenous resources.

Scientists Decipher Message from Intelligent Civilization just Lightyears from Earth. Apparently, after observing our planet for decades, the more advanced beings have offered critical assistance with our planet’s massive ecological crises. “We would not have been able to reverse the terrible damage of climate change, save the rainforests, the oceans, or humanity and billions of other species, without their knowledge,” claimed one biologist, as he broke down in tears of joy.

One can dream…

Kenn Orphan is an artist, sociologist, radical nature lover and weary, but committed activist. He can be reached at kennorphan.com.

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