Donald Trump Puts Israel First

Tensions are hurtling towards a fever pitch again in the Middle East. The entire region seems to be haunted by a phantom chaos. All through out the deserts of the Orient, an ugly rash of seemingly random acts of violence are building up into what can only be properly categorized as a Category 5 shitstorm of rank disorder. Strange explosions are going off again in the shipyards of the Red Sea. All logical signs point to more mystery mines, but Saudi Arabia insists it’s the handiwork of Houthi rebels, using James Bond style drone boats.

The typically boastful renegades remain silent, while threats to double down on Yemen’s genocidal famine by declaring them terrorists grow from whispers to mumbles. Meanwhile, airstrikes presumed to be Israeli are ratcheting up to the north, all around the Levant, as a steady stream of leaks informs the Fourth Estate that the nation of Zion is preparing for an imminent attack on Iran during the final hours of the Trump regime, which itself promises new sanctions against the Covid ravaged Islamic Republic every week until inauguration.

All of this, this building symphony of not so random mayhem, swelled to a foul crescendo with the brutal gangland shooting of Iran’s top nuclear scientist, Mohsen Fakhrizadeh, in the sleepy suburbs surrounding Tehran. Rumor has it that those creepy crawly cultists in the MeK dispatched a death squad to slaughter the venerated civilian maestro, much beloved by the Iranian people, in cold blood. But everyone knows who the real culprits are. They barely concealed it. The Trump regime and its sponsors in Israel have been throwing hints like rocks, left and right.

Apparently an unhinged Orange Man Bad recently had to be talked down by his own neocon goons from launching a massive airstrike against Iran’s nuclear facilities. This could be logically presumed to be more random de rigueur for the administration who couldn’t shoot straight if it wasn’t for the fact that it coincided closely with the world’s creepiest slumber party since Potsdam.

A clandestine gathering in the Saudi city of Neom between the lords of chaos, Bibi Netanyahu, Mike Pompeo and Mohammed bin Salman was held around Thanksgiving. Word has it that the swarthy head-chopping Wahhabi sociopath, MBS, of all animals, was actually the voice of reason at this Satanic menage a trois, as Bibi and Pompeo angled for total war. The writing appears to be written in blood on the wall, high enough for the whole neighborhood to see. In fifty different languages, from Persian to Esperanto, Donald Trump has declared a greenlight on Iran and drawn a red line that any Shiite or psuedo-Shiite can cross with a single rocket to set off Gulf War 3.

I had foolishly held out hope that Donald Trump would use his final weeks in power to reek chaos against his own neocon establishment for working overtime to make sure his presidency was a single term flop. I wanted to believe that that bronzer slicked bastard would at long last have enough common sense to realize that the only way he could leave the Oval Office as anything but a sobbing loser was to actually put America first for once and bring the troops home. I’m not incredibly shocked that such a consistently foul creature went the other way with things, but I am disappointed none the same. Even revolutionaries want to believe in miracles at Christmas.

The Donald has made it crystal clear that the only thing he intends to accomplish with what’s left of his presidency, aside from harassing the courts with hissy fits, is the wholesale sabotage of any hope for Joe Biden to achieve his single benevolent campaign promise of returning to the relative sanity of the JCPOA nuclear peace deal. The good news is that the Mullahs aren’t half as nearsighted as their aging Yankee adversaries. The word has come down across the Shiite Crescent for every militia who doesn’t want to see more of their own starve and burn to politely hold their breath and sit on their hands until January 20th. The bad news is that Trump has followed his own twisted doctrine to its natural conclusion by officially taking the leash off that rabid animal called Israel.

Most people seem to be unaware that Trump even has a foreign policy doctrine, which is understandable considering that his peculiar collection of anti-social personality disorders precludes him from any moral code higher than limp-spined self-fellatio. But their is indeed a Trump Doctrine. A very simple doctrine that goes, ‘If you got the money, we’ve got the bombs.’ Donald has turned out the American war machine like a two dollar whore to every thug and pervert with an allowance, from Erdogan to MBS, but Israel has always been Mack Daddy Trump’s number one John and they’ve paid handsomely for the privilege. That ginger haired Mason Verger, Casino magnate Sheldon Adelson, has dumped hundreds of millions of dollars into Trump’s coffers, practically putting a leash on the pimp himself like a Zionist gimp.

This really isn’t too far off from America’s previous doctrines. The American Empire has always operated like a mafia protection racket, bombing the shit out of defenseless weaklings like Grenada and Serbia, then suggesting to their neighbors that it would be a shame if something similar happened to their pretty nation if they weren’t protected by the same thugs. Like most of his policies, Trump has simply taken all the magic out of our already fascistic policies by ripping the curtain down and charging the highest bidder to see how the sausage is made. This means officially publicizing America’s long standing doctrine of putting Israel first. The colossal elephant bathed in Arab blood in the corner now gets his spot at the head of the table.

The entire history of the Israeli-American relationship can essentially be summed up with the ancient Hebrew folktale of the Golem. America wanted a 51rst state to wage new crusades from in the Middle East, so, along with England, we built one out of Red Sea clay and called him Israel. Only now, as the west reaches the apex of its decline, Israel has decided to become an empire in its own right. People don’t like to talk about the Israel Lobby, mostly because they’re afraid of being labeled as an anti-Semite by it’s slime squad in AIPAC.

This has allowed our supposed ally to get away with quite literally unspeakable things. Consider for a moment the bizarre fact that Israel is given the microphone by every cable news outlet from Fox to MSNBC so it can wax philosophic about the immorality of a totally fictional Iranian nuclear weapons project while they pack over one hundred illegal bombs themselves without so much as an IAEA membership after stealing the formula form Washington, and nobody ever says a goddamn word about it on air. Nobody! Go ahead a check. That’s like having Ted Bundy on as a women’s rights advocate while barring anyone from mentioning the fucking body count.

Apparently acknowledging the empirical facts of reality is anti-Semitic. Who knew? Aside from all the self-hating Jews who make up the spine of the anti-Zionist movement, of coarse. Israel gets whatever Israel wants, unless we get the hose again. But Donald Trump has taken this peculiar sadomasochistic relationship to the next level of slobbering subservience, openly gifting the apartheid state Jerusalem on a spit and creating a “peace plan” that appears to be a blatant plagiarism of the Trail of Tears.

But what our whip fondling golem dom really wants for Hanukah is Iran’s head on a silver platter. This is because Iran is the last big brother Palestine has left that’s willing to step up to their bullies. The Iranian funded Hezbollah has become a low-emissions anti-Zionist ass whooping machine, delivering the cruel golem regime the kind of humiliating defeats half the Arab world’s standing armies failed to achieve. Tehran has to go, not because they’re guilty of possessing toys like Zions, but because they’re guilty of the unforgivable crime of being a good neighbor. Those sick fucking bastards.

The big question is what happens after Trump? Chances are, Iran will win the waiting game against a belligerent orange idiot. But then what? While Biden promises a return to the Obama-era glory of the JCPOA, he also promises ominously to make it great again by pushing for the inclusion of ballistic missiles to the deal. This would essentially cripple Iran from defending itself against the ICBM-slinging psychos in Riyadh and Jerusalem while making them completely dependent on the whims of the same nation who brazenly shithoused the last deal.

Like I said, their is nothing unprecedented about Trump. The tyranny of the Trump era is only possible because the last three administrations, including Biden’s, idiot-proofed a murder machine. The number one lesson to take away from America’s nuclear peace deal isn’t how easy it is to restart, but how easy it was to throw away. Under these circumstances, should Iran even take us back? They may not have a choice. Meanwhile, the West Bank continues to burn with a single starving neighbor to put the fire out.

Ain’t peace grand, dearest motherfuckers? Well ain’t it!!?

Nicky Reid is an agoraphobic anarcho-genderqueer gonzo blogger from Central Pennsylvania and assistant editor for Attack the System. You can find her online at Exile in Happy Valley.