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His Favorite Things

A crowd-sourced song … with sincere apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Bright copper spray tans and cameras a’rolling.
Dissing reporters and Internet trolling.
Deducting fake losses – hey, who taxes kings?
These are a few of his favorite things.

Greasy cheeseburgers in wax-paper wrappers.
Maundering speeches for zombie-eyed clappers.
Coulter and Ingraham and bottle-blonde flings
These are a few of his favorite things.

Golfin’ and hairspray and Treasury lootin’.
Hangin’ with fascists and Vladimir Putin.
Slippery dealings that all go ka-ching
These are a few of his favorite things.

When the Dems bite,
When DAs call,
When he’s feeling sad.
He simply starts tweeting
Some slanderous thing
And then he won’t feel … so bad.

Migrants deported and kids put in cages.
Billionaires thriving midst declining wages.
Dog whistles aimed at the rabid right wing
These are a few of his favorite things.

Summoning folks to a Super Spread rally.
Then publicly pissing on Martha McSally.
Throwing out votes in the states that are swing,
These are a few of his favorite things.

When the polls tank,
When the aides leak,
When he’s feeling sad.
He simply starts tweeting
Some mendacious thing
And then he won’t feel … so bad.

Written by the Unemployed Satirists Guild of Chicago. Assembled by Nate Herman and Hugh Iglarsh, who can be contacted at hiiglarsh@hotmail.com. Credits to Terry Sullivan, Rick Weiland and Freddie Levin.

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