FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Sorry, You’re Not Invited

When I woke up yesterday and looked in the mirror, I said to my image, “Man, you are a pathetic sad sack.”  Hearing that, one of us thought there must be a way to get okay with his self, all things being equal and everything being relative.  I remembered seeing a book in a used book store with the title, I’m OK – You’re OK, and thinking I wasn’t really OK, I was depressed and had a hard time concentrating on anything except my face in the mirror and the sorry state of my life.  All the men I knew seemed so down too, so waddya call it, so fucked up or so fucked down.  I never could understand which is the right way to say it. Is there a right way or can you say it any way you want?  Up down – just fucked, or maybe not.  These other guys were dragging too, but I needed to focus on little old me. I was definitely not OK.

So I got in the car and was cruising around, listening to some stupid news show on the radio when I heard a report that startled me and gave me a great idea.  I drove to the Dollar Store to get a wedding card to send to myself.  This report I heard said the latest cool thing was to marry yourself – they call it sologamy, I think the guy said.  It made you feel good about yourself. OK, I think the guy said.  They interviewed this woman who just married herself and boy was she flying high and enthusing about the great feeling it gave her.  She said she had realized she had fallen out of love with herself and marrying herself was like the second time around.  It really stirred my blood and got me thinking what I could do for myself. I started humming that old song, you know, “Love is lovelier, the second time around .…”

Like I said, so many of the guys I see around seem so down, in the bar they sit over their beers with their shoulders slumped and in the supermarkets I see the old guys looking so hangdog as they push those shopping carts after the women who have notes in hand and little calculators as they take charge of the food buying.  Those women seem OK at least.  The men always seem to be one or two steps back and the women talking and smiling all the time.  I even noticed that when I pass an exercise studio the women come out in those yoga outfits looking so OK and up for things but the guys I know who go to the gym look all tied in knots after heaving the weights like they were performing some grim duty that would keep them above water for a while.

Then I stopped in the local coffee shop to get a pick up and think about this marrying myself thing.  That’s when I lucked out for sure.  Or is it lucked in?  Like I said, these sayings confuse me, I never know what’s correct or not, out or in, up or down. Are there some rules to all this or can you just wing it? I get really confused. Anyway, there was a bunch of newspapers lying around and I glanced at a New York Times on the table.  There was this weird article that jumped out at me about transracialism and transgenderism and this big debate about these big words and a philosopher who claims if you can self-identify as a different sex, or is it gender, I can never get them straight, you should also be able to self-identify as a different  race.  It was a long article with a lot of people arguing back and forth and I couldn’t concentrate on it all but I got the gist of the professor’s point and thought this might be for me, it might help me get OK which was my goal.  As I said, I see all those women up and smiling all the time and the guys down and hangdogged and I always noticed that Magic Johnson the hoops star of old is always smiling on the tube and I’ve always wondered why that was.

So to get to my point, I made a decision then and there and I thought I’d just let you know.  I’m going to give it a shot and marry myself on June 9th since they say June is the best marrying month and I’m going to self-identify as a black woman.  It’s just for the day of course and I’ll go back to being me the next day so don’t worry.  I’m just hoping it does the trick and the day after when I look in the mirror I’ll hear that smiling face say, “ Man, You’re OK, I’m OK.”  Of course you’re not invited, but I knew you’d understand.

Edward Curtin is a writer whose work has appeared widely.  He teaches sociology at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts. His website is http://edwardcurtin.com/

More articles by:

Edward Curtin is a writer whose work has appeared widely.  He teaches sociology at Massachusetts College of Liberal Arts. His website is http://edwardcurtin.com/

January 16, 2019
Edward Curtin
A Gentrified Little Town Goes to Pot
January 15, 2019
Patrick Cockburn
Refugees Are in the English Channel Because of Western Interventions in the Middle East
Howard Lisnoff
The Faux Political System by the Numbers
Lawrence Davidson
Amos Oz and the Real Israel
John W. Whitehead
Beware the Emergency State
John Laforge
Loudmouths against Nuclear Lawlessness
Myles Hoenig
Labor in the Age of Trump
Jeff Cohen
Mainstream Media Bias on 2020 Democratic Race Already in High Gear
Dean Baker
Will Paying for Kidneys Reduce the Transplant Wait List?
George Ochenski
Trump’s Wall and the Montana Senate’s Theater of the Absurd
Binoy Kampmark
Dances of Disinformation: the Partisan Politics of the Integrity Initiative
Glenn Sacks
On the Picket Lines: Los Angeles Teachers Go On Strike for First Time in 30 Years
Jonah Raskin
Love in a Cold War Climate
Andrew Stewart
The Green New Deal Must be Centered on African American and Indigenous Workers to Differentiate Itself From the Democratic Party
January 14, 2019
Kenn Orphan
The Tears of Justin Trudeau
Julia Stein
California Needs a 10-Year Green New Deal
Dean Baker
Declining Birth Rates: Is the US in Danger of Running Out of People?
Robert Fisk
The US Media has Lost One of Its Sanest Voices on Military Matters
Vijay Prashad
5.5 Million Women Build Their Wall
Nicky Reid
Lessons From Rojava
Ted Rall
Here is the Progressive Agenda
Robert Koehler
A Green Future is One Without War
Gary Leupp
The Chickens Come Home to Roost….in Northern Syria
Glenn Sacks
LA Teachers’ Strike: “The Country Is Watching”
Sam Gordon
Who Are Northern Ireland’s Democratic Unionists?
Weekend Edition
January 11, 2019
Friday - Sunday
Richard Moser
Neoliberalism: Free Market Fundamentalism or Corporate Power?
Paul Street
Bordering on Fascism: Scholars Reflect on Dangerous Times
Joseph Majerle III – Matthew Stevenson
Who or What Brought Down Dag Hammarskjöld?
Jeffrey St. Clair - Joshua Frank
How Tre Arrow Became America’s Most Wanted Environmental “Terrorist”
Andrew Levine
Dealbreakers: The Democrats, Trump and His Wall
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Que Syria, Syria
Dave Lindorff
A Potentially Tectonic Event Shakes up the Mumia Abu-Jamal Case
Nick Pemberton
There Are More Important Things Than The Truth
Brian Cloughley
How Trump’s Insults and Lies are Harming America
David Rosen
Sexual Predators in the Era of Trump
Tamara Pearson
Everything the Western Mainstream Media Outlets Get Wrong When Covering Poor Countries
Richard E. Rubenstein
Trump vs. the Anti-Trumps: It’s the System That Needs Changing Not Just the Personnel
Christopher Ketcham
A Walk in the Woods, Away from the Screens
Basav Sen
Democrats Failed Their First Big Test on Climate
Lauren Smith
Nicaragua – The Irony of the NICA Act Being Signed into Law by Trump
Joseph Natoli
Will Trumpism Outlive Trump?
Olivia Alperstein
The EPA Rule Change That Could Kill Thousands
Medea Benjamin – Alice Slater
The New Congress Needs to Create a Green Planet at Peace
Caoimhghin Ó Croidheáin
Cuba: Trump Turns the Vise
Ramzy Baroud
When Bolsonaro and Netanyahu Are ‘Brothers’: Why Brazil Should Shun the Israeli Model
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail