I’m a Human and I’m a Cartoon

Available evidence is beyond reasonable doubt as prosecutors might say that I’m a human and I’m a cartoon. If being both at the same time, in the same frame, were a crime, I’ll be convicted in seconds by a white jury or black jury, a jury of men or women. And if being both is a rare artistic adventure, I’m a Don Quixote. Actually, being both is normal, as normal as being a Trump, a Sean Hannity, a Butt-Head. I’m an animated human. I’m an animated cartoon.

I’m a cartoon lives inside my human mind in a chatty relationship with the deeper layers of my consciousness. Inside, I’m a human is indistinguishable from I’m a cartoon. Much like conjoined twins, we dream, cry, laugh, laugh loudly, we plan the fantastic, we jostle with the enemies, we unbolt the files of memory and throw profanities at classmates, mates, strangers, Sigmund Freud, regretting and muttering “I shoulda takin’ that left turn at Albuquerque.”

Here and there (though frequently), I’m a cartoon overpowers my human figure and I stand on cliffs (US airports) scratching my behind, I jump off life-events without a parachute, I hop around nasty monsters as a bunny, I eat boogers in the company of connoisseurs, I do whatever I’m a cartoon wishes to do. Under the spell of I’m a cartoon, my humanity, crimes against humanity, conventional morality, law, ethics, etiquettes, all that stuff, much ado about nothing, all is thrown away like rotten fish and chips, and I recoil into brutal primitivity, relative permittivity, smoking cigars in the costume of a Winston Churchill. I decimate Dresden. I’m a cartoon and I giggle in the British accent to entertain the audience.

I’m a human is by no means the weaker-half of my being. That’s my ego, my higher-self. I gloat over the (unproven) fact that I belong to the best lifeform God has created in the entire universe. I am chosen. I am far more intelligent than cows, crows, daffodils, nightingales, Scooby Doo, Daffy Duck. I make bullets to kill, I manufacture pesticides, I exterminate rare species, I cage cheetahs and Muslims of all stripes, I’m strong, I’m mighty. I’m the beauty of the earth. I’m the only game in town. I live in Moscow, Beijing, Pyongyang, Washington D.C, Hollywood.

Gods fear me but I have no power over them I’m a cartoon.

L. Ali Khan is the founder of Legal Scholar Academy and an Emeritus Professor of Law at the Washburn University School of Law in Topeka, Kansas. He welcomes comments at legal.scholar.academy@gmail.com.

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