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Mr. Xi’s Visit: An imaginary Speech

After a most informative discussion on world affairs, I return to China happy in the knowledge that President Trump is what I expected and hoped, a strong leader who will do what we all salute him for, making America great again. The world looks to America for principles of self-reliance (your beloved Emerson) and what we once termed economic nationalism, but which runs deeper, a genuine patriotism of country affirming United States’ grand destiny of taking care of its people and keeping the Nation strong. One could not ask for anything better in true political leadership.

Accordingly, in praise of America’s and the President’s vision, we in China want to further the purposes of that vision as our small contribution to the Land of Freedom, this by carrying out President Trump’s often-expressed wish for nation-building at home and independence from the strains and tensions of global involvement.

Mr. President, we will do everything we can to assist you in carrying out your agenda, notably, strengthening America’s moral fiber by putting its resources and initiative to work at home. Nothing must undermine the resolve—such as dependence on others—of the American people.

First, to support the spirit of welcoming challenge, I am instructing my government to withdraw all investment from the United States within thirty days (including loans to Jared Kushner); to eliminate all US economic activities, investments, banking-commercial-manufacturing presence in China, also within thirty days; and, as for the yearly trade deficit America has run up of $300B to request immediate payment and the cancellation of all future loans. A genuine friend could not do better, in encouraging America’s economic independence.

Second, to ensure America’s free hand in realizing its potential, I am instructing our Foreign Ministry to negotiate closer relations with Russia, in a common policy of keeping American goods out of our two countries—not a higher tariff, but again absolute exclusion. No friend of America’s rebuilding effort could do less, and in that way honor Mr. Trump’s election pledge of achieving self-sufficiency. To that end, I am asking Russia to use its good offices to encourage the European Union likewise to exclude an American presence, while China will work to the same end in Asia, and both Russia and China—again from the desire to see America succeed—follow the same course in the whole of Africa and Latin America. In this way, President Trump can realize his dream of a Fortress America beholden to no-one but itself.

Third, with much of the world rejoicing in America’s enjoyment of its power to prosper on its own, especially in allocating its wealth to military and/or nuclear modernization ends, I am instructing China, and asking Russia to do the same, to target principal US population areas as a reminder of peaceful intent, likewise in furtherance of its self-sufficiency, to ask international organizations (e.g., WTO, WHO) to expel the United States from membership, as a favor to Mr. Trump, because simply a diversion from the work to be done at home. As with everything else, he will thank us for our friendship in facilitating his paradigm of excellence.

I have more thoughts about showing our respect and admiration for America, but these three are for starters. America deserves to achieve its fondest ambitions, to win the world’s respect by fulfilling its destiny of carrying capitalism to its finest hour: an autarkic fascism surrounded by the wall with Mexico on one side and a northern border, yet to be determined, but armed lest, out of envy, the wrong sort flock in to take advantage of the folk. Not everyone is in full-dress preparatory mode to construct a fascist commonwealth; the world watches breathlessly to see if America can pull it off. Thus far, if billionaires are an index of societal health, America is off to a good start, more so, in this important respect, because it will not allow the poor, the unemployed, the homeless, to gum up the works. If push comes to shove—and the purpose is praiseworthy beyond dispute—the inferior classes, under the heading of infrastructure, can build crematoria, concentration camps, whatever it takes to keep the American Dream pure and unsullied.

More articles by:

Norman Pollack Ph.D. Harvard, Guggenheim Fellow, early writings on American Populism as a radical movement, prof., activist.. His interests are social theory and the structural analysis of capitalism and fascism. He can be reached at pollackn@msu.edu.

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