Yes, Real Donald Trump is a Muslim!

This article is no spoof or fake news. President Donald J. Trump (J stands for Jumma, which means Friday in Arabic) is a Muslim who converted to Islam years ago, long before he challenged President Obama’s birth certificate and faith credentials. Upon conversion, Trump was awarded the title of Sheikh, which means the scholar of Islam. Here are seven clues that President Trump is a practicing Muslim:

1/ Sheikh Trump does not eat pork or consume alcohol. No Muslim, even if they skip prayers or fasting, eats pork. And the Shariah prohibits the consumption of all forms of alcohol (including Russian vodka). As a true Muslim, Sheikh Trump loathes bacon and sausages and has not touched alcohol in his life.

2/ President Trump does not want to disclose his tax returns because for many years, actually since his conversion to Islam, he has donated millions of dollars in charitable contributions to build mosques in the United States and around the world. Realizing that voters are not ready to accept his faith credentials, Sheikh Trump wisely decided to withhold his tax returns from the public.

3/ President Trump recruited numerous decoys in his cabinet to conceal his conversion to Islam. Too bad, Michael Flynn, who called Islam a cancer, had to be fired. However, Steve Bannon and Stephen Miller are furnishing excellent camouflage. There are unsubstantiated rumors, though, that Steve has also converted to Islam to please his boss. If so, Sheikh Trump might have to hire yet another Islamophobe to throw sand in voters’ eyes.

4/ Sheikh Trump has a unique way of exposing the bigotry against Islam and Muslims, particularly in some parts of the United States. Out of his infinite wisdom, Sheikh Trump claimed that thousands of Muslims in New Jersey were cheering the collapse of the twin towers on 9/11. This story was a sarcastic exposure of how Muslims have been falsely blamed for supporting terrorism. Likewise, Sheikh Trump asked Kellyanne Conway to fabricate the massacre at Bowling Green to further show how Muslims can be easily blamed for fictitious terror attacks. Few days ago, Sheikh Trump himself invoked the non-existent “terrorist attack in Sweden” to continue to make the point that his Muslim brothers and sisters are systematically slandered.

5/ Soon after occupying the White House, President Trump called the Saudi King to reaffirm his faith in Islam. He also called General Sisi of Egypt, President Erdogan of Turkey, and the prime minister of Pakistan to make sure they all understand that the travel ban on Muslims is just a ruse to please the deplorables. Trump asked his team to make an executive order that will not stand in a court of law and federal judges would unanimously declare it unenforceable. This executive order was a master stroke to fulfil a campaign promise, disguise the faith, and continue to allow fellow Muslims to pour into America. It is no wonder there were hardly any protests in any Muslim country against the travel ban.

6/ On the day of inauguration, while President Obama and President-Elect Trump were scooting in the same limousine, Obama shared a secret with Trump. “Bring your ear close to my mouth,” requested Obama. Trump did and what Trump heard was a low whisper: “Allah au Akbar” Trump winked his right eye, Obama his left, and they shared a hearty laughter.

7/ On the day of inauguration, an unprecedented crowd of millions witnessed President Trump taking the oath on two holy books to uphold the constitution. Never in the history of the United States has a President used two copies of the same holy book to take the oath. Neither did Sheikh Trump. Given that Sheikh Trump is a very, very, very intelligent man he came up with the machination of using two holy books. Of course, one of the books was …….!

Over the weekend, Sheikh Trump attended the New York rally “I am a Muslim too” held in Time Square. Dishonest media and the failing NYT would never be able to figure out these clues. Clueless @realDonaldTrump.

L. Ali Khan is the founder of Legal Scholar Academy and an Emeritus Professor of Law at the Washburn University School of Law in Topeka, Kansas. He welcomes comments at