The Elvish Language in Puerto Rico

There was no White House representative at the inauguration ceremony for the new governor of Puerto Rico.

Obama did send a letter though.

The letter was read to the rather modest crowd gathered on the north side of the Capitol building by the newly appointed secretary of state, who mispronounced a few words.

It occurs to me that I would mispronounce many of the words in this article if I ever had to read it out loud.

In his speech, the governor announced the implementation of a special program that would magically make all Puerto Rican children bilingual.

The governor did not say ‘magically.’

When the secretary of state read the president’s name at the end of his letter, the governor gave a big smile to the crowd as if his daddy had just arrived home after a long day.

His real daddy, a former governor, was sitting a couple of seats to his right.

In his speech, the governor announced the implementation of innovative measures to boost tourism and the economy.

The measures have English names.

At the beginning of the ceremony someone sang the US national anthem. I was going to point out that the singer mispronounced “ramparts” and “gallantly” but what I really want to say is that English in Puerto Rico is like Elvish: if there’s no subtitles then whatever was said is presumed to not have any real effect on the plot.

There’s a statue of Obama on the south side of the Capitol building in San Juan.

A couple of weeks ago, a small group of people protested in front of the statue due to Obama’s reluctance to publicly address the petition to pardon Puerto Rican political prisoner Oscar López Rivera. The petition was written in English. Though, it might as well have been Elvish.

Puerto Rican Police guard Obama’s statue every day. The president, in exchange, sent his warm regards.

‘Amazing Grace’ was also played during the ceremony. The song, after all, is considered to be an American icon. I wonder who or what might be a Puerto Rican icon.

How do you pronounce ‘wretch’? What’s its Elvish translation?