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Under President Trump, Will I Be Forced Into Slavery?

The “racial divide” that draws profits for the infotainment networks was on full display after Secretary Clinton’s description of half of Donald Trump’s followers as “a basket full of deplorable.” Most of the White commentators viewed it as a misstep. Since there are only a few Black commentators who are approved of by network executives, I had to consult Richard Prince’s “Journal-isms” to find what Black journalists were thinking. “Journal-isms” keeps tabs on how Black, Hispanic, Asian and Native American journalists are faring in the media industry. The majority of these journalists agreed with Secretary Clinton.

The statistic that jumped out to me was that 20% of Trump’s followers believe that Lincoln was wrong to free the slaves. So if the media succeed in electing an Entertainer-In-Chief (think of the ratings) and he implements the wishes of that 20% of his followers in the form of an Executive Order returning Blacks to slavery, to which task would I be assigned?

I suspect that the job of rounding us up and placing us on buses and trains will be managed by the Trump son, Donald Trump, Jr., who recently paid a visit to Mississippi and said that he was okay with the Confederate flag, which gives encouragement to those Trump followers–38%–who are upset about the outcome of the Civil War. His involvement in managing transportation would give those animals he likes to murder a break.

Since the production of cotton is handled by machines, maybe we will be assigned to Trump’s hotels. We woud be cooks, chamber maids, and doormen. We would replace the immigrants who now handle those tasks. Why pay people when you can have slaves for nothing? Maybe people like me who have a university background would become accountants or hosts and hostesses or card dealers. Of course, we’d be barred from counting the money. Some of us could become desk clerks. Others could be assigned to sit behind President Trump as he makes speeches. This would be a sign that he is righteous with diversity.

Though Alexander Hamilton may or may not have owned slaves, he certainly rented them, which is like receiving stolen goods. I could see President Trump renting some of us out to his friends. Maybe serving as a sparring partner for Corey Lewandowski, or becoming fashion consultants for Sir Rudolph Giuliani, who likes to dress up in women’s clothes. Someone could put first lady Melania Trump’s speeches through Grammarly’s plagiarism check. Maybe a dozen of slaves would be on 24-hour call, in case Governor Christie needs orders from MacDonald’s.

Of course, if the slaves resist or engage in the kind of work slowdown, one of the factors that ended the Civil War, Trump could say that they’re “lazy.” According to him, they can’t help themselves.

Ishmael Reed is the author of The Complete Muhammad Ali.

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