FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

GMOs, Apple Pie and Cannibalism

When I was a kid, I was totally fascinated by the Donner Party.  How could they possibly do that?  Eat their own kin?  And if I had been in their shoes, would I have eaten my fellow Americans too?

“But Jane,” you might ask, “What does cannibalism have to do with GMOs?”  Isn’t it obvious?  You are what you eat.

Right now, more and more of my fellow Americans are starting to eat gluten-free.  Me too.  No more croissants, birthday cake or apple pie for us.  Rats.  However, if I was stuck in the High Sierras in the middle of winter with only chocolate-chip cookies and cheese danishes to eat, would I have been tempted to eat them too?  Perhaps?  Maybe?  Yes!  But my stomach would have grumbled and my gut would have complained.

We all know why the Donner Party switched to cannibalism.  But does anyone know why suddenly so many Americans are now switching to gluten-free diets?  Here is my theory, based on solid research.  My son Joe never eats wheat.  Never.  Not even in soy sauce or beer.  But when he went to Paris this summer, he discovered, to his amazed delight, that he could safely eat wheat again while over there.  Wow.  How’s that for research!

So.  What’s the big difference between French wheat and American wheat?  GMOs!  France has banned GMOs.  There’s the true smoking gun.  The cards are all stacked against us by Monsanto and friends.  I rest my case.

Guess we really are what we eat.

And speaking of smoking guns, that reminds me of America’s current lousy choice between guns and butter.  If the American military stopped their farting around in the Middle East and making a big muck of things over there in order to keep the oil companies happy, then we’d all have enough money back home here to even build Donald Trump’s precious Wall — or else to even buy things that really matter to us personally instead of the usual tanks, guns and bombs.

We could even clean up all the flood horrors in Louisiana with that huge amount of cold hard cash.

Moral of the story?  You can’t eat bombs — not even GMO bombs!

More articles by:

Jane Stillwater is a freelance journalist, war correspondent, blogger, political Cassandra and author of “Bring Your Own Flak Jacket: Helpful Tips for Touring Today’s Middle East.”

Weekend Edition
April 20, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Paul Street
Ruling Class Operatives Say the Darndest Things: On Devils Known and Not
Conn Hallinan
The Great Game Comes to Syria
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Mother of War
Andrew Levine
“How Come?” Questions
Doug Noble
A Tale of Two Atrocities: Douma and Gaza
Kenneth Surin
The Blight of Ukania
Howard Lisnoff
How James Comey Became the Strange New Hero of the Liberals
William Blum
Anti-Empire Report: Unseen Persons
Lawrence Davidson
Missiles Over Damascus
Patrick Cockburn
The Plight of the Yazidi of Afrin
Pete Dolack
Fooled Again? Trump Trade Policy Elevates Corporate Power
Stan Cox
For Climate Mobilization, Look to 1960s Vietnam Before Turning to 1940s America
William Hawes
Global Weirding
Dan Glazebrook
World War is Still in the Cards
Nick Pemberton
In Defense of Cardi B: Beyond Bourgeois PC Culture
Ishmael Reed
Hollywood’s Last Days?
Peter Certo
There Was Nothing Humanitarian About Our Strikes on Syria
Dean Baker
China’s “Currency Devaluation Game”
Ann Garrison
Why Don’t We All Vote to Commit International Crimes?
LEJ Rachell
The Baddest Black Power Artist You Never Heard Of
Lawrence Ware
All Hell Broke Out in Oklahoma
Franklin Lamb
Tehran’s Syria: Lebanon Colonization Project is Collapsing
Donny Swanson
Janus v. AFSCME: What’s It All About?
Will Podmore
Brexit and the Windrush Britons
Brian Saady
Boehner’s Marijuana Lobbying is Symptomatic of Special-Interest Problem
Julian Vigo
Google’s Delisting and Censorship of Information
Patrick Walker
Political Dynamite: Poor People’s Campaign and the Movement for a People’s Party
Fred Gardner
Medical Board to MDs: Emphasize Dangers of Marijuana
Rob Seimetz
We Must Stand In Solidarity With Eric Reid
Missy Comley Beattie
Remembering Barbara Bush
Wim Laven
Teaching Peace in a Time of Hate
Thomas Knapp
Freedom is Winning in the Encryption Arms Race
Mir Alikhan
There Won’t be Peace in Afghanistan Until There’s Peace in Kashmir
Robert Koehler
Playing War in Syria
Tamara Pearson
US Shootings: Gun Industry Killing More People Overseas
John Feffer
Trump’s Trade War is About Trump Not China
Morris Pearl
Why the Census Shouldn’t Ask About Citizenship
Ralph Nader
Bill Curry on the Move against Public Corruption
Josh Hoxie
Five Tax Myths Debunked
Leslie Mullin
Democratic Space in Adverse Times: Milestone at Haiti’s University of the Aristide Foundation
Louis Proyect
Syria and Neo-McCarthyism
Dean Baker
Finance 202 Meets Economics 101
Abel Cohen
Forget Gun Control, Try Bullet Control
Robert Fantina
“Damascus Time:” An Iranian Movie
David Yearsley
Bach and Taxes
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail