FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Notes on Jeremy Corbyn, Gardener

I have known Jeremy Corbyn for almost 4 decades. Yearly, each spring, he has tended to my rose garden before Summer sets in. Except this year.

Not Jeremy Corbyn personally, but someone of his type, build, genus. Actually it was a series of them. But I will try to keep it as simple as possible.

I have never had any fundamental problems with Jeremy’s gardening. While I work on my memoirs in my study I have often watched him through the window. I believe he has a right to work in my garden. I take note of any minor faults and politely inform him at a convenient time.

The problem is, while there is nothing wrong with any of the 6 or 7 Jeremys who have worked in my garden, as gardeners, I question whether they would be as well suited to every task. For instance writing memoirs.

I have sat here in my study, for 37 years, my typewriter in front of me, working on my memoirs. I have a clear view of my rose garden, when the roses are in season. My valet, Seamus, brings me my tea, at 9.15, 11.25, 1.05 and 3. My pastry chef, McDonnel, is known for his various choux à la crème.

Each has their place. But are any as fit to write my memoirs? I fear not. Jeremy, at his best, may be able to distinguish a rhododendron from an anecdote, but I fear that’s as far as he’d get. He’d be about as well suited to writing my memoirs as I would arranging the croquembouche.

Its not a question of superiority. It’s a question of being reasonable.

Sometimes, when taking a break from my memoirs, my factotum, Diane, brings me a copy of the Guardian. And there I see reason. I look out to see my roses still there and am comforted. At the Guardian they’re reasonable.

Jonathan Freedland is reasonable. Polly Toynbee is reasonable. Nick Cohen is reasonable. Owen Jones, thank God, is reasonable. (I look forward to reading their memoirs.)

What some people don’t seem to understand, and you would think gardeners of all people would get this, is that you have to be reasonable. Gardens are not reasonable. A garden has to be watched and kept in order. If you let your eye slip away from it for a minute, it creeps up on you. Before you know it plants are covering the window to your study, blocking the light while you’re trying to write your memoirs.

Chapter 1 was hard going, but now I’ve all but completed it, and chapter 2 I plan to begin any day now.

I can’t remember the last time I saw an éclair.

When Jeremy returns next year I won’t bear him any grudges.

More articles by:
August 20, 2018
Carl Boggs
The Road to Disaster?
James Munson
“Not With a Bomb, But a Whimper” … Then More Bombs.
Jonathan Cook
Corbyn’s Labour Party is Being Made to Fail –By Design
Robert Fisk
A US Trade War With Turkey Over a Pastor? Don’t Believe It
Howard Lisnoff
The Mass Media’s Outrage at Trump: Why the Surprise?
Faisal Khan
A British Muslim’s Perspective on the Burkha Debate
Andrew Kahn
Inhumanity Above the Clouds
Dan Glazebrook
Trump’s New Financial War on the Global South
George Wuerthner
Why the Gallatin Range Deserves Protection
Ted Rall
Is Trump a Brand-New Weird Existential Threat? No.
Sheldon Richman
For the Love of Reason
Susie Day
Why Pundits Scare Me
Dean Baker
Does France’s Economy Need to Be Renewed?
Jeffrey St. Clair
A Mighty Voice for Peace Has Gone Silent: Uri Avnery, 1923-2018
Weekend Edition
August 17, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Daniel Wolff
The Aretha Dialogue
Nick Pemberton
Donald Trump and the Rise of Patriotism 
Joseph Natoli
First Amendment Rights and the Court of Popular Opinion
Andrew Levine
Midterms 2018: What’s There to Hope For?
Robert Hunziker
Hothouse Earth
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Running Out of Fools
Ajamu Baraka
Opposing Bipartisan Warmongering is Defending Human Rights of the Poor and Working Class
Paul Street
Corporate Media: the Enemy of the People
David Macaray
Trump and the Sex Tape
CJ Hopkins
Where Have All the Nazis Gone?
Daniel Falcone
The Future of NATO: an Interview With Richard Falk
Cesar Chelala
The Historic Responsibility of the Catholic Church
Ron Jacobs
The Barbarism of US Immigration Policy
Kenneth Surin
In Shanghai
William Camacaro - Frederick B. Mills
The Military Option Against Venezuela in the “Year of the Americas”
Nancy Kurshan
The Whole World Was Watching: Chicago ’68, Revisited
Robert Fantina
Yemeni and Palestinian Children
Alexandra Isfahani-Hammond
Orcas and Other-Than-Human Grief
Shoshana Fine – Thomas Lindemann
Migrants Deaths: European Democracies and the Right to Not Protect?
Paul Edwards
Totally Irrusianal
Thomas Knapp
Murphy’s Law: Big Tech Must Serve as Censorship Subcontractors
Mark Ashwill
More Demons Unleashed After Fulbright University Vietnam Official Drops Rhetorical Bombshells
Ralph Nader
Going Fundamental Eludes Congressional Progressives
Hans-Armin Ohlmann
My Longest Day: How World War II Ended for My Family
Matthew Funke
The Nordic Countries Aren’t Socialist
Daniel Warner
Tiger Woods, Donald Trump and Crime and Punishment
Dave Lindorff
Mainstream Media Hypocrisy on Display
Jeff Cohen
Democrats Gather in Chicago: Elite Party or Party of the People?
Victor Grossman
Stand Up With New Hope in Germany?
Christopher Brauchli
A Family Affair
Jill Richardson
Profiting From Poison
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail