President Trump: the First 100 Days

Donald Trump wins the election: 50.1% to Hillary’s 49.9, though both the Senate and the House return to Democrat control.

Before Inauguration Day, January 20, 2017, Trump says he will make no cabinet appointments. (“You can’t trust the losers out there. I’ll run this show by myself.”)

Trump’s VP chosen running mate, Caitlin Jennings (after Oprah turned him down), helped win the election by putting a woman on the ticket.

Hours after Trump’s inauguration, major changes begin:

* Federal troops and the National Guard, supported by right-wing militia groups, begin rounding up eleven million illegals in the country, sealing them in boxcars, and sending them to the Mexican border.

* “Anchor babies” are taken to secret shelters by liberals, who refuse to cooperate in deporting them.

* Illegals at the Mexican border are forced to construct a forty-foot wall to keep out future entries. Once they have completed the wall, they are sent back to Mexico. (In Mexico, 42-foot ladders become hot commodities).

* Produce that cannot be harvested by migrants rots in the ground, doubling the price of fresh vegetables and fruit in supermarkets. Quickly, the prices triple and then quadruple.

* Garbage and refuse across the country piles up, uncollected, because no one wants to do a job formerly done by Hispanics.

* Nannies (no longer available) force Caucasian women to raise their own children, disrupting the labor market by forcing many women to quit their jobs.

* The new “Forever” stamps issued by the Postal Service show photos of Donald Trump, and Trump photos are mounted in all federal and state government offices.

* All paper currency also shows Trump’s portrait, except for the $20 bill, which features Trump’s mother, a campaign promise to women who have long demanded a woman on our currency.

The Second Hundred Days:

Trump is impeached, the movement led John McCain, Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, Lindsay Graham, and Marco Rubio.

Caitlin Jennings becomes the President of the United States and switches parties, becoming a Democrat. Jennings picks Kim Kardashian as her Vice President.

Women are thrilled. With women in charge, the country returns to order, the former illegals (declared heroes by Democrats) knock down the border wall, re-enter the United States, and are given a quick pathway to citizenship.

Charles R. Larson is Emeritus Professor of Literature at American University, in Washington, D.C. Email = clarson@american.edu. Twitter @LarsonChuck.