FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Confessions of a Ferguson Police Dog

The following transcript was among suppressed Department of Justice documents regarded as too volatile to release in the aftermath of the DOJ’s report on Ferguson policing practices. Not wanting to reveal the newest interrogation techniques developed and employed by the national security state, or to incur the wrath of dog-lovers, the DOJ labeled the interrogation of Ferguson police dogs “Top Secret.” Fortunately, a DOJ whistle blower, whose whistle, however, may have caused some damage to the howling pack of interviewed Ferguson police dogs, released the excerpt below.   A single explanatory note identified the name of the dog interrogator, listed below as DD as a Dr. Doolittle, a reputed psychic interlocutor of canine cognition.

DD: Can you tell me your name and something of your background?

Ferguson police dog, hereafter listed by his name: Yeah, my police handlers called me “Bull” although my birth name was “Conner.” I’m a German Shepherd and Pit Bull mix. They tell me that on my Dad’s side one of my ancestors was a guard dog in a Nazi concentration camp and on my Mom’s side we can trace our line back to a Southern slave plantation.

DD: How did you get recruited into the Ferguson Police Department?

Bull: Well, you know I was runnin’ wild on the streets of St. Louis and I got picked-up by a Dog Pound employee. He was a friend of Darren Wilson, the Ferguson cop who shot Michael Brown. So, I was sent over to Ferguson to be trained as part of their canine corps.

DD: Tell me something about your training?

Bull: Well, runnin’ the streets of St. Louis, I had developed some bad habits like growling at anyone who approached me. My Ferguson handlers taught me to growl only at black folks and then bite them on cue.

DD: How did they do this?

Bull: By showing me pictures of black rap artists and blaring their music at me while I was hooked up to a bunch of wires. I couldn’t stand listening to that noise, especially when it came with electric shocks. But I did get to hear one song that I really liked without any shocks.

DD: And what was that song?

Bull: “Who Let the Dogs Out?”

DD: So, what did you do once you finished your training? 

Bull: I was taken out on the streets of Ferguson and used exclusively to attack any black person who my police handler saw as a “troublemaker.”

DD: And who were those “troublemakers?”

Bull: Well, you know, those people of color exhibiting anti-social behavior like jaywalking. Of course, I couldn’t always tell whether someone was jaywalking, but I was good at running down those gang-bangers with droopy pants who were walking in the middle of the street.

DD: Didn’t it occur to you that there might be times when whites would commit the same so-called anti-social behavior? 

Bull: Well, look, I was just following my training. Whites were invisible to me. And besides, I always got rewarded with extra rations of steak for taking a big bite out of some black guy’s ass. Man, I loved those T-bones!

DD: It sounds like you had lots of steak.

Bull: Yeah, the Police Department was rolling in dough, collected from the black citizens of Ferguson who got all kinds of citations with fines when they weren’t being bitten by me or the other dogs.

DD: Did you take pride in your work?

Bull: Hey, we are the thin brown line keeping the barbarians at bay. Without our canine patrol, this whole civilization would go belly up. Even us dogs get a little soft when we’re belly up and someone strokes our belly. Yuck, how wimpy is that?

DD: But surely you must have some regrets that you may have harmed an innocent person.

Bull: I was taught that if you are black, you are not innocent. And, if you are brown, you are an illegal. So, no regrets except that I’m sorry that Darren Wilson had to resign after that little incident. He was so good at getting me riled up at black folks.

FRANCIS SHOR is the author of Dying Empire: US Imperialism and Global Resistance.  A website for the book can be found at www.dyingempire.org

More articles by:

Fran Shor is a Michigan-based retired teacher, author, and political activist.  

November 19, 2018
David Rosen
Amazon Deal: New York Taxpayers Fund World Biggest Sex-Toy Retailer
Sheldon Richman
Art of the Smear: the Israel Lobby Busted
Chad Hanson
Why Trump is Wrong About the California Wildfires
Dean Baker
Will Progressives Ever Think About How We Structure Markets, Instead of Accepting them as Given?
Robert Fisk
We Remember the Great War, While Palestinians Live It
Dave Lindorff
Pelosi’s Deceptive Plan: Blocking any Tax Rise Could Rule Out Medicare-for-All and Bolstering Social Security
Rick Baum
What Can We Expect From the Democrat “Alternative” in California?
Thomas Scott Tucker
Trump, World War I and the Lessons of Poetry
John W. Whitehead
Red Flag Gun Laws
Newton Finn
On Earth, as in Heaven: the Utopianism of Edward Bellamy
Robert Fantina
Shithole Countries: Made in the USA
René Voss
Have Your Say about Ranching in Our Point Reyes National Seashore
Weekend Edition
November 16, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Jonah Raskin
A California Jew in a Time of Anti-Semitism
Andrew Levine
Whither the Melting Pot?
Joshua Frank
Climate Change and Wildfires: The New Western Travesty
Nick Pemberton
The Revolution’s Here, Please Excuse Me While I Laugh
T.J. Coles
Israel Cannot Use Violent Self-Defense While Occupying Gaza
Rob Urie
Nuclear Weapons are a Nightmare Made in America
Paul Street
Barack von Obamenburg, Herr Donald, and Big Capitalist Hypocrisy: On How Fascism Happens
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Fire is Sweeping Our Very Streets Today
Aidan O'Brien
Ireland’s New President, Other European Fools and the Abyss 
Pete Dolack
“Winners” in Amazon Sweepstakes Sure to be the Losers
Richard Eskow
Amazon, Go Home! Billions for Working People, But Not One Cent For Tribute
Ramzy Baroud
In Breach of Human Rights, Netanyahu Supports the Death Penalty against Palestinians
Brian Terrell
Ending the War in Yemen- Congressional Resolution is Not Enough!
John Laforge
Woolsey Fire Burns Toxic Santa Susana Reactor Site
Ralph Nader
The War Over Words: Republicans Easily Defeat the Democrats
M. G. Piety
Reading Plato in the Time of the Oligarchs
Rafael Correa
Ecuador’s Soft Coup and Political Persecution
Brian Cloughley
Aid Projects Can Work, But Not “Head-Smacking Stupid Ones”
David Swanson
A Tale of Two Marines
Robert Fantina
Democrats and the Mid-Term Elections
Joseph Flatley
The Fascist Creep: How Conspiracy Theories and an Unhinged President Created an Anti-Semitic Terrorist
Joseph Natoli
Twitter: Fast Track to the Id
William Hawes
Baselines for Activism: Brecht’s Stance, the New Science, and Planting Seeds
Bob Wing
Toward Racial Justice and a Third Reconstruction
Ron Jacobs
Hunter S. Thompson: Chronicling the Republic’s Fall
Oscar Gonzalez
Stan Lee and a Barrio Kid
Jack Rasmus
Election 2018 and the Unraveling of America
Sam Pizzigati
The Democrats Won Big, But Will They Go Bold?
Yves Engler
Canada and Saudi Arabia: Friends or Enemies?
Cesar Chelala
Can El Paso be a Model for Healing?
Mike Ferner
The Tragically Misnamed Paris Peace Conference
Barry Lando
Trump’s Enablers: Appalling Parallels
Ariel Dorfman
The Boy Who Taught Me About War and Peace
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail