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Conservatives Make Their Proposals for Healthcare Coverage

Ted Cruze:  one packet of twelve aspirin, three Band-Aids, and four yards of clothesline.

Michelle Bachmann:  King James Bible and mandatory Sunday school attendance.

Paul Ryan:  $30.00 in food stamps per month for a family of four.

Eric Cantor:  CVS coupons.

Rush Limbaugh:  no money for contraception, but chastity belts.

Charles and David Koch:  a glass of formaldehyde.

Rick Santorum: four weeks of conversion therapy.

Charles R. Larson is Professor of Literature at American University in Washington, D.C.  Email: clarson@american.edu.