FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Do You Really Want to Work There?

by MARTHA ROSENBERG

With another jobless recovery at hand, it is tempting to accept any position offered to you. But there are 12 kinds of companies you don’t want to work for. Here are the warning signs.

1) Beware of companies that call their employees “associates” or “team members.” This is a cheap way of making them feel valued without paying them.

2) Beware of companies with morale campaigns like “We’re The Best” and baseball caps that say “Reach for the Stars.” Employees paid enough don’t need morale campaigns.

3) Be suspicious of offices that are a sea of particle board cubicles with a few ostentatious glass offices. The only time you’ll see the inside of a glass office under Floorplan Feudalism is when they tell you your job was seasonal and they don’t need you anymore.

4) Beware of companies whose employee parking lots are full at 6:30 AM and 6:30 PM. The cars aren’t there because people love the cafeteria food.

5) And, speaking of food, beware of companies that offer free pizza parties and push company games like volleyball. Forced fun is not only an insult–you’re there to work and probably have enough friends–it is a cheap way companies try to look generous.

6) Beware of companies with signs in the employee kitchen like “Your Mother Doesn’t Live Here; Clean Up After Yourself” and “I Hope The Person Who Stole My Sandwich Chokes On It.” These are the people you will be working with. After a few months you’ll be writing signs too.

7) Beware of companies who say they prosecute resume errors and demand drug tests before they’ve even hired you. They’re afraid of sneaky employees because they’ve created sneaky employees. P.S. They also have elaborate security systems.

8) Beware of companies whose ads ask you if you want to “be your own boss” and say you must have a dependable car. You’ll be demonstrating cleaning systems in half empty subdivisions.

9) Beware of companies whose ads say they are seeking “an aggressive self starter” who “works well in fast paced environment.” They’re too cheap to hire enough people–and know it.

10) Never answer an ad with the headline “students, homemakers, retirees–need extra cash?” even if you are a student, homemaker or retiree. The pay is so low, your income qualifies as “Extra cash.”

11) Beware of human resource officers who want to talk about their “outstanding benefits” instead of salary. Not only is the salary low, these companies actually consider paying your social security a benefit.

12) Beware of interviewers who divulge secrets or personal information about other employees at the company like divorces or health problems. Tomorrow they’ll be talking about you…

Martha Rosenberg is an investigative health reporter. She is the author of  Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health (Prometheus).

More articles by:

Martha Rosenberg is an investigative health reporter. She is the author of  Born With A Junk Food Deficiency: How Flaks, Quacks and Hacks Pimp The Public Health (Prometheus).

CounterPunch Magazine

minimag-edit

bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550

zen economics

Weekend Edition
July 28, 2017
Friday - Sunday
Diana Johnstone
Collateral Damage: U.S. Sanctions Aimed at Russia Strike Western European Allies
Jim Kavanagh
Donald the Destroyer: Assessing the Trump Effect
Carl Boggs
The Other Side of War: Fury and Repression in St. Louis
Jeffrey St. Clair
Scout’s Honor
Eva Golinger
There is Still Time to Prevent Civil War in Venezuela
Anthony DiMaggio
“A Better Deal”? Dissecting the Democrats’ “Populist” Turn in Rhetoric and Reality
Joshua Frank
The Fire Beneath: Los Angeles is Sitting on a Ticking Time Bomb
Myles Hoenig
It Wasn’t Russia, It was the Green Party!
Conn Hallinan
Middle East Chaos
Robert Hunziker
Plastic Chokes the Seas
Andrew Levine
Enter Scaramouche, Stage Right
Brian Cloughley
Time to Get Out of Afghanistan
Gary Leupp
The Trump Revolution Devouring Its Own Children
John Wright
Trump’s Hezbollah Gaff Was No Gaff
Alan Jones
“Finland Station” and the Struggle for Socialism Today
Eric Draitser
Enough Nonsense! The Left Does Not Collaborate with Fascists
Vijay Prashad
The FBI vs. Comrade Charlie Chaplin
Ishmael Reed
Trump’s Irish-Americans “Without Hearts”
Jane LaTour
Danger! Men Working
Mumia Abu-Jamal
James Baldwin: Word Warrior
Yoav Litvin
The Unbearable Lightness of Counterrevolution
Charles Derber
Universalizing Resistance: How to Trump Trump
Chris Gilbert
Strange Fruit: Venezuela has an Opposition that Nobody Should Support
Gregory Barrett
Two Johnstones and a Leftish Dilemma: Nationalism vs. Neoliberalism
Joseph Natoli
Choosing the ‘Arteries that Make Money’
CJ Hopkins
Intersectionalist Internet Blues
Pepe Escobar
China and India Torn Between Silk Roads and Cocked Guns
Ralph Nader
Can the World Defend Itself From Omnicide?
Howard Lisnoff
Agape While Waltzing at the Precipice
Musa Al-Gharbi
Want to Shake Up Status Quo? Account for the Default Effect
Angela Kim
North Korean Policy Must Focus on Engagement Not Coercion
Hiroyuki Hamada
Delivering Art in the Empire
David Macaray
Talking Union
Binoy Kampmark
Refugee Conundrums: Resettlement, the UN and the US-Australia Deal
Robert Koehler
Opening Gitmo to the World
David Jaffee
No Safe Space for Student X
Thomas Knapp
The State is at War — With the Future
David Swanson
What’s Missing From “Dunkirk”
Robert J. Burrowes
Biological Annihilation on Earth Accelerating
Frederick B. Hudson – Dr. Junis Warren
Robot Scientists Carry Heavy Human Hearts 
Randy Shields
Not My Brother’s Reefer
Sam Lichtman
Where are the Millennials?
Louis Proyect
Death Race: the Cruelties of the Iditarod
Charles R. Larson
Review: Norman Lock’s “A Fugitive in Walden Woods”
David Yearsley
The Organs of Salamanca
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail