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TV and Movie Villains Vs. Obama

Obama’s years in office have produced abysmal ethical failures. How does he compare to some of the most famous villains of the American zeitgeist?

*Avon Barksdale: he only kills children inadvertently

*Anton Chigurh: murders lots of people, but never children

*Walter White: has only murdered a few children

*Marlo Stanfield: at least he’s honest about murdering children

*Freddy Krueger: he only kills children who fall asleep

*Al Swearengen: violent but never sanctimonious

*Dwight Schrute: sycophantic and conniving, but too incompetent to wiretap the office

*Sue Sylvester (gym teacher in Glee): her evil is performed in the service of ultimate good

*Jar Jar Binks: an annoying spectacle of high-tech minstrelsy whose voting record in the Galactic Senate is more defensible than Obama’s voting record in the U.S. Senate

*Dexter Morgan: has a much more stringent code than Obama

*Pinhead: a literal name, he is more coherent than metaphorical counterparts Joe Biden and Samantha Power

*Tony Soprano: also heads a criminal enterprise, but detests government surveillance

*Nurse Ratched: loses her vocal chords, which leads to reduced lying and conniving

*Jason Voorhies: let’s be honest; most of his victims were asking for it

*Annie Wilkes (Misery): has one redeeming quality, her genuine love of reading

*Hannibal Lecter: he eats politicians; sounds like a decent chap to me

*Montgomery “Monty” Burns: evil personified, but not evil enough to have hired Larry Summers

*John Kreese (Cobra Kai sensei): tries to throttle Mr. Miyagi; even if he had succeeded he would have harmed less Asians than Obama

*Dr. No: atomic-powered radio beams are no match for drones and the Iron Dome

*Keyser Soze: actually, just as unethical as Obama, but way less irritating

*The Wicked Witch of the West: merely terrifies children, never bombs them

*Dr. Evil: ethically, a wash with Obama, but ultimately comes out ahead because his lackey, Mini-Me, is more tolerable than Matthew Yglesias, and Rachel Maddow

*Patrick Bateman: there’s a chance his violence is imaginary; Obama’s is undoubtedly real

*Livia Soprano: unlike Obama, she hates the healthcare industry

*Mrs. Carmody (The Mist): her cult is smaller and less indoctrinated than Obama’s

*Skeletor: like Obama, seeks total control of the universe, but keeps his tactics aboveboard

*O-Dog: redeemed himself and became the dashing poet Love Jones

*Tony Montana: a ruthless gangster whose refusal to bomb children precipitates his downfall

*Biff Tannen: treats McFly much better than Obama treats Manning and Snowden

*Darth Vader: he destroys an entire planet, but never pretends he wants to save it

*Gustavo “Gus” Fring: like Obama, excellent at public relations, but displays no evidence of fealty to Israel

*Mr. Rooney (Ferris Bueller’s principal): finally acknowledges the downside of habitual snooping and meddling

*Michael Corleone: more disappointed in Obama than he was in Fredo

*Bill O’Reilly: just kidding! He’s even worse than Obama

Steven Salaita’s latest book is Israel’s Dead Soul. Follow him on twitter @stevesalaita

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