Godzilla, Stunned

The nuclear beast reels in confusion. Stopped cold in Germany, then in Japan where he had inflicted so much damage, the Italians have now risen up to put a halt to the big reckless lizard’s reign of terror. Even the Chinese remain on the fence, waiting out this latest monster appearance to observe just how far he’ll go this time.

Born from the uncontrolled atomic experiments of our ancestors, Godzilla remains an ever present threat to human life. He’s been spotted in Southern California near an earthquake fault. Sightings just north of New York City caused some stir when one of the comandeered 9/11 passenger jets flew right over his head.

It seems that weekly some signs of the giant monster’s shenanigans cause incidents and shut down reactors as our valiant Homer J. Simpsons struggle to keep forty and fifty year old machinery on-line, and the great radioactive reptile at bay.

And still the delusional mad scientists make apologies for their creation’s lust for destruction. He’s really not such a bad guy they tell us, once you get to know him. Your kids probably won’t die. The big lumbering, fire breathing juggernaut just loves kids, and what a show he puts on. He even provides much needed jobs — for them — the delusional mad scientists of unnecessary risk and bottomless lies.

But Godzilla and his grandson Fukushima seem to have an agenda all their own. They seem quite oblivious to the blather and trolling of the nuclear apologist crowd. Despite the massive PR efforts of the entrenched interests, the monsters keep breaking out of their cages and flattening Tokyo, or at least threatening its population with one hell of a roar (that is if you wire your geiger counter through an amplifier).

With Italy’s popular referendum overwhelmingly rejecting the monster, he’s no-doubt going to be searching for more lizard friendly lands to call his home. Will Godzilla be nesting near your home? Find out in the sequel. There’s always a sequel, as long as you people keep buying these tickets.

In the end, you moviegoers will have to make your preferences known and say no more Godzilla sequels. Not here, not anywhere.

The mad scientists can put their talents to work building truly “clean” energy, and stop trying to pass off their raging, poison spewing, maniacal beast as some kind of philanthropic girl scout. That plot line is far too ludicrous for any audience to maintain its suspension of disbelief.

Joe Giambrone is a filmmaker and author of Hell of a Deal: a Supernatural Satire. He edits the Political Film Blog. He be reached at: polfilmblog at gmail.
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