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Gini’s Turning One

Such a special day, and the mob outside my window is ruining it. Why don’t they take responsibility for themselves, like I did? The market provides for anyone who works hard and shows initiative.

Hold on a minute…I have to keep Gini quiet. I don’t want those people to know about her. OK, now I can sit down and read my Financial News Daily.

I see my long-only index is up. Wheat prices still rising, no matter, my advisor told me to hold until we reach a ceiling.

Hmm, interesting. A study shows 166,000 wind turbines in the mid-Atlantic could generate 1/3 of U.S. energy demand. Labor-intensive work, a lot of profit there. Once the climate is right for investment we’ll have to look into that.

Says here GE and Bank of America reduced their taxes to zero. I’d like to talk to their tax advisors.

Well, look at this: credit default swaps are now worth a quadrillion dollars — that’s a thousand trillion! The whole damn GDP is only $15 trillion. What a country, where we can buy and sell products that don’t exist.

Those people down there…no initiative to grab these opportunities. Look, they’re still milling around. Why are they mad at me? My main offices aren’t even in this country.

Shh…was that Gini? She sure has been active lately.

What was I saying? Oh, yes, the people down there. They just don’t understand supply-side economics. The more I make, the more they’ll get back eventually. If I can double my income by hiring 5 offshore workers for the price of one here, more money will be available to pass along later on.

Besides, I personally employ a lot of people here at home: tax experts, financial planners, landscapers, wait staff. And we must have a hundred people working on the yacht.

Damn it, my responsibility is to the investors. I can’t let all that noise down there bother me. Social programs? They just breed dependency. Get rid of government, totally!

Scary crowd. Good thing we have the national guard and emergency services. Such a nice place now, with the new national research park. Too bad those people won’t let me enjoy it.

I better check in on Gini. You know, every time I see her she seems to get a little bigger.

PAUL BUCHHEIT is a part-time faculty member in the School for New Learning at DePaul University, author of UsAgainstGreed.org and RappingHistory.org, and the editor of “American Wars: Illusions and Realities” (Clarity Press). He can be reached at paul@UsAgainstGreed.org.

 

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