FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Doing It Big

Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, members of Congress, distinguished guests, and fellow Americans:

We are the American family. And we are exceptional. This is what sets us apart as a nation. (Applause.)

We measure progress by the success of our people. And because we extended the Bush tax cuts for the wealthy, the ultra-rich can realize even greater success. It was the right thing to do. (Applause.) We could ask millionaires to give up their tax breaks, but we won’t.

Many people probably can remember a time when finding a good job meant showing up at a factory. You didn’t always need a degree. This is still a place where you can make it if you try. You can be a politician, a banker, or a politician who’s stepped down for family reasons and has become a lobbyist. (Applause.) No workers are more productive than ours. For example, Bristol Palin never shied away from limb-bending labor. The 20-year-old single mother turned a good idea into a thriving enterprise, a lobbying, public relations, and political consulting firm. Furthermore, Bristol purchased a home in Arizona, during a time when many were losing theirs, accomplishing the American dream without a college degree. Plus, she has a new boyfriend. (Applause.)

In the words of Robert Kennedy, “The future is not a gift. It is an achievement.” Again, think of Bristol. Dreams of little girls deserve to be fulfilled. (Applause.)

Let me be clear. The future is ours to win. And recently, we’ve won in defeating our most pressing domestic problem: incivility. This is why I honor American worker Bristol Palin. As you know, her mother and I have had our differences. We’ve fought fiercely. And, really, I shouldn’t use the word “fought,” because I’m reinventing myself. It’s what Americans have done for over 200 years. From this day forward, I will not call myself a straight shooter. Ever. (Applause.)

I’ve heard rumors that there’s still concern about our new health care law. (Laughter) If you have ideas about how to improve this, I’d like to work with you, unless you advocate universal health care. I think some innovative reinventer might be more helpful.

And if Bristol Palin has any suggestions about high-speed rail, I’d like to know. (Applause.)

The Iraq war has been coming to an end for months and we’d be pleased with a display of Iraqi gratitude—flowers, applause, smiles, high fives, something. (Applause.) Of course, as we speak, al Qaeda and al-Qaeda-like affiliates, evildoers, those who wish to destroy our way of life because they’re jealous of our freedoms, continue to plan 9/11s every waking second of their pernicious, hate-filled days to terrorize this nation that has always been empathetic to the suffering of others. (Applause.)

We’ve taken the fight to al-Qaeda and their terrorist allies. With epic courage, our military men and women brave the dust and wind of Nevada as they drive through the desert to sit in front of computers and operate drones that target insurgents 7,500 miles away in Afghanistan. (Applause.) If a few children get in the way, we suggest that their parents assume more responsibility for their wellbeing. (Applause.) Now, I want you to imagine these men and women, America’s finest, as they push a throttle’s button and squeeze a joystick’s trigger to release a bomb or missile and yell, “Splash,” when they hit their mark. (Applause.) And, yes, we have a separate robotic warfare program in Pakistan, operated by the CIA. (Applause.) Terrorist safe havens are shrinking.

We are continuing to strengthen the capacity of the Afghan people, partnering with them, transitioning to an Afghan lead. Our troops will begin to come home in … a-a-achoo. (“God bless you.”) Thanks. (Applause.)

We are securing the worst weapons of war to shape a world that favors negotiation. Recent events have shown that what sets us apart is not just our power but also the purpose behind it—compassion. (Applause.)

Enough about compassion though. (Applause.)

The dream is why I stand here tonight. The American dream. It’s the same dream that brought Speaker Boehner, someone who grew up sweeping the floor of his father’s bar, to D.C. and landed him a career that allows him to sit at any upscale bar and drink until his liver ossifies. It’s the same dream that provides the finest health care benefits for us, your leaders, if we require treatment for any ailment. And the taxpayers of a country built on dreams pay it for.

We dream big here. Because we are the first nation founded for an idea—that we shape our own destiny. Your vote permits us to shape yours.

We do big things. (Applause.) Big war. Big war budget. Big Military/Security/Surveillance Complex. Big multi-national corporations. Big bailouts. Big bonuses. Big drills. Big Spills. Big deals. All in the interest of peace and prosperity.

Our future is big and hopeful.

God bless you, and may God bless the United States of America. (Applause.)

Missy Beattie lives in Baltimore. She can be reached at missybeat@gmail.com.

 

 

More articles by:

Missy Beattie has written for National Public Radio and Nashville Life Magazine. She was an instructor of memoirs writing at Johns Hopkins’ Osher Lifelong Learning Institute in BaltimoreEmail: missybeat@gmail.com

Weekend Edition
July 20, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Paul Atwood
Peace or Armageddon: Take Your Pick
Paul Street
No Liberal Rallies Yet for the Children of Yemen
Nick Pemberton
The Bipartisan War on Central and South American Women
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Are You Putin Me On?
Andrew Levine
Sovereignty: What Is It Good For? 
Brian Cloughley
The Trump/NATO Debacle and the Profit Motive
David Rosen
Trump’s Supreme Pick Escalates America’s War on Sex 
Melvin Goodman
Montenegro and the “Manchurian Candidate”
Salvador   Rangel
“These Are Not Our Kids”: The Racial Capitalism of Caging Children at the Border
Matthew Stevenson
Going Home Again to Trump’s America
Louis Proyect
Jeremy Corbyn, Bernie Sanders and the Dilemmas of the Left
Patrick Cockburn
Iraqi Protests: “Bad Government, Bad Roads, Bad Weather, Bad People”
Robert Fantina
Has It Really Come to This?
Russell Mokhiber
Kristin Lawless on the Corporate Takeover of the American Kitchen
John W. Whitehead
It’s All Fake: Reality TV That Masquerades as American Politics
Patrick Bobilin
In Your Period Piece, I Would be the Help
Ramzy Baroud
The Massacre of Inn Din: How Rohingya Are Lynched and Held Responsible
Robert Fisk
How Weapons Made in Bosnia Fueled Syria’s Bleak Civil War
Gary Leupp
Trump’s Helsinki Press Conference and Public Disgrace
Josh Hoxie
Our Missing $10 Trillion
Martha Rosenberg
Pharma “Screening” Is a Ploy to Seize More Patients
Basav Sen
Brett Kavanaugh Would be a Disaster for the Climate
David Lau
The Origins of Local AFT 4400: a Profile of Julie Olsen Edwards
Rohullah Naderi
The Elusive Pursuit of Peace by Afghanistan
Binoy Kampmark
Shaking Establishments: The Ocasio-Cortez Effect
John Laforge
18 Protesters Cut Into German Air Base to Protest US Nuclear Weapons Deployment
Christopher Brauchli
Trump and the Swedish Question
Chia-Chia Wang
Local Police Shouldn’t Collaborate With ICE
Paul Lyons
YouTube’s Content ID – A Case Study
Jill Richardson
Soon You Won’t be Able to Use Food Stamps at Farmers’ Markets, But That’s Not the Half of It
Kevin MacKay
Climate Change is Proving Worse Than We Imagined, So Why Aren’t We Confronting its Root Cause?
Thomas Knapp
Elections: More than Half of Americans Believe Fairy Tales are Real
Ralph Nader
Warner Slack—Doctor for the People Forever
Lee Ballinger
Soccer, Baseball and Immigration
Louis Yako
Celebrating the Wounds of Exile with Poetry
Ron Jacobs
Working Class Fiction—Not Just Surplus Value
Perry Hoberman
You Can’t Vote Out Fascism… You Have to Drive It From Power!
Robert Koehler
Guns and Racism, on the Rocks
Nyla Ali Khan
Kashmir: Implementation with Integrity and Will to Resolve
Justin Anderson
Elon Musk vs. the Media
Graham Peebles
A Time of Hope for Ethiopia
Kollibri terre Sonnenblume
Homophobia in the Service of Anti-Trumpism is Still Homophobic (Even When it’s the New York Times)
Martin Billheimer
Childhood, Ferocious Sleep
David Yearsley
The Glories of the Grammophone
Tom Clark
Gameplanning the Patriotic Retributive Attack on Montenegro
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail