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Into the Future

Astonishing theater unfolded in Washington, DC when former Presidents George W. Bush and Barack Obama and former Vice Presidents Richard Cheney and Joe Biden were taken into custody and transported to a courthouse soon after arriving in the United States. Photographers captured images of the four, revealing that Cheney no longer wore his signature sneer.

Exiled to Saudi Arabia in 2011 during the Justice Revolution in early July, the men rarely were seen in public. Rumor had it that they, as well as family members and their dogs, were well disguised when attending events outside the palace.

In February of 2011, Cheney was hunting in Texas with a 33-year-old acquaintance. According to Cheney, a wayward shot accidentally killed his hunting partner. The grieving parents of the victim, Mary and Joe Christus, challenged the account, accusing Cheney of deliberately shooting their son whose heart was removed and transplanted to the former VP by a staff of cardiac surgeons among the mobile ambulance crew at the scene. The Christus family demanded legal action. Although many Americans had no access to healthcare and were down to beans, rice, and contaminated tap water, Jersey Shore was nearing its season cliffhanger. The pleas for due process, therefore, failed to elicit support from anyone except members of the peace and justice communities.

A major shift in activism erupted in late May after the San Andreas and New Madrid Seismic Zones battled over whose fault was bigger. All hell broke loose when a decision was made?to see which side could kick the other’s ass back to the Stone Age. Buildings and already-crumbling infrastructure collapsed in a multitude of locations.

Under anesthesia and her plastic surgeon’s familiar knife during an aftershock, Nancy Pelosi felt nothing. The physician attempted to maintain his balance on the cracking, moving floor, but he slipped and the scalpel penetrated Pelosi’s brain through her left eye.

Cleanup of Richter 10 hadn’t begun when hurricanes ripped through the oil-and-dispersant-soaked waters of the Gulf Coast and up the Atlantic, invading land and wreaking disaster of biblical measure. Where tornados seldom occurred, funnel clouds were common. The skies rained steroidal felines and pit bulls. Miami, Florida was buried under 30 inches of snow?in June.

Walking with arms stretched upward, Rapturists spoke revelatory words and moaned joyously. Most were mugged.

Martial law was declared. Mercenaries were recalled from Afghanistan, Iraq, Pakistan, and Yemen but, soon, individuals within the professional military joined forces with their family members and neighbors.

The Justice Revolution was born on July 4th. Chanting was heard:

No more Kool-aid like Jersey Shore.

Human rights will be restored.

Whatcha mean? We never had ’em.

Not even Eve and Adam had ’em.

Tabula rasa, reconciliation.

Power to the people, not the nation.

Bush, Cheney, Obama, and Biden were whisked away, by a few remaining loyalists, aboard Air Force One while Congressmen and women begged for mercy, whining: “Why aren’t our Big Corporations showing us their benevolent personhood?” The banksters had left, days before, for the islands, where they’d deposited taxpayer money in personal accounts.

Speaker John Boehner succumbed to alcohol poisoning, at the foot of his favorite barstool, his face in a puddle of his own vomit. His wife couldn’t be found. Lobbyist Lisbeth Lyons was asked to identify the body and reportedly said, “That can’t be John. Everyone knows he’s not blue.”

And it came to pass that this was both an ending and that which follows?a beginning, one of enduring peace.

But there can be no peace without justice.

So, it was fortuitous that the despots arrived from exile and were arrested and held accountable.

The war criminals, Bush, Cheney, Obama, and Biden, along with all neocon sympathizers, were prosecuted and imprisoned. Political prisoners were released. Detainees were repatriated.

Children played together, entering each other’s houses through unlocked front doors.

The Sun shown when it was supposed to. Rain arrived just as it was needed. And zephyrs came and went as they pleased.

A Muslim center was built near Ground Zero, and no one protested.

A single state with equal rights for Palestinians and Israelis was created.

Dick Cheney, finally, told the truth about EVERYTHING. This provided the Christus family some small comfort as they continued to grieve the death of their carpenter son.

Missy Beattie conceived the idea for this article while moving forward on her elliptical trainer. She can be contacted at missybeat@gmail.com.