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Socialist Blizzard Hits DC

More than two hundred thousand residents of the greater Washington, D.C. area awoke Saturday morning to a deluge of snow—in most places more than two feet, the largest storm in decades.

One Republican congressman asked, “Is there no limit to where the extremes of the Obama administration will take us in order to assert a socialistic take-over of the country? “

Another congressman added, “Everyone has been brought to their knees by this storm—including those of us who have fought most strongly against a socialistic snowstorm.”

At the Tea Party convention in Nashville, Tennessee, one delegate remarked, “The snowstorm in Washington is proof that ‘global warming’ is nothing but an Al Gore/ Pinko/ Commie hoax. Fortunately, there are still people in the country who do not believe every lie propagated by the Obama administration. Global freezing is right in front of our eyes and yet Obama thinks he can start taxing us for cap and trade. It’s not the environment that is endangered by this foreigner in our midst.”

During her speech to delegates at the Tea Party Convention, Sarah Palin said to an enthusiastic crowd, “I think the timing of the snowstorm is suspicious. They knew that I was going to speak to you folks tonight—they’ve known about my speech for weeks. Couldn’t they have scheduled the Washington snowstorm for another weekend?

Palin was visibly livid because in Alaska, where she was the most important governor of all time, snow is no big deal. “They just wanted to steal our show.”

Even Sunday’s bold headline in The Washington Post appeared to second her complaint: “HISTORIC MESS.” Reading of power outages and stranded cars, Palin remarked with a wink, “Another big mess that Washington doesn’t just know how to fix.”

CHARLES R. LARSON is Professor of Literature at American University in Washington, D.C.