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Brother, Can You Spare a Million Bucks?

Right now, during this economic crisis, no one is suffering more than the rich. The old rules – where the investors got to make huge profits but also assumed the financial risks – don’t apply anymore. That’s why we need to give your tax money to condo developers. After all, they need it more than you do! And maybe they’ll hire you for a couple weeks. Or do you want to be a welfare parasite for the rest of your life?

Please join us in supporting ex-hockey player and struggling Vancouver Island resort developer Len Barrie. This week, we inducted Barrie into the WTF? Hall of Flame and awarded him the first annual West Coast Wetiko Prize.

In 2006, Barrie set the stage for his entrance into the Hall of Flame by deliberately blowing up a native cave to build his golf course, after sending gangs of construction workers to harass native elders.

Naturally, Barrie was hailed as a hero by his posse in Langford, home to some of Vancouver Island’s most racist rednecks.

Barrie clinched the Wetiko Prize last month by uniting with fellow developer Ron Coutre and Langford City Council behind an application for a $24.5 million federal infrastructure grant that would benefit Barrie and Coutre.

You see, Barrie has fallen on hard times. But your tax dollars can help make sure he doesn’t lose his 15,000-square-foot castle at Bear Mountain Resort, 20 km west of Victoria. If you haven’t lived in a castle, you can’t possibly know how humiliating it is to live in a crappy condo and fly coach instead of first class.

The West Coast Wetiko (“WEE-ti-go”) Prize is dedicated to lost heritage and self-destructive insanity. Noted author Jack Forbes describes the Wetiko worldview this way: “Brutality knows no boundaries. Greed knows no limits. Perversion knows no borders. This is the disease of the consuming of other creatures’ lives and possessions. I call it cannibalism.”

An awards ceremony is planned for later this year.

WANDA FUCHA writes for WTF Langford? is the hottest new satire and gossip blog on Vancouver Island.

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