Click amount to donate direct to CounterPunch
  • $25
  • $50
  • $100
  • $500
  • $other
  • use PayPal
It’s your last chance to make a tax-deductible donation to CounterPunch in 2017. Help us gear up to fight the status-quo in 2018! Every dollar counts!
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Frost Free

by TIM MATSON

The extended forecast for next winter: fear and shivering. The Governor of Maine worries that a “dangerous” winter is shaping up. Across the north country, the media echoes official predictions that it’s going to be a killer season because of high fuel costs and a crumbling economy. Fearful of cash strapped citizens forced to choose between starving or freezing, high latitude states are setting up emergency fuel funds and food banks. (Throw on some lobster shells with the fire wood, Jenny!)

Steady now, folks. I know a lot of you weren’t paying attention in the Seventies, especially if you weren’t born yet. So here’s a chance to make up for lost btu’s and then celebrate by making your own energy free ice cream, as soon as it snows anyway.

This is how my energy conserving, money saving plan works. When it starts to get cold outside, about the time  you begin worrying about slipping on those icy steps, give your refrigerator plug a yank. The quiet may take a little getting used to, but if you have trouble going cold turkey, crank up “The Sounds of Silence” for the first few days and  get used to it. Don’t worry, the Indians did it and if you’ve been to a casino lately you’ll see it didn’t hurt them a bit.

You’re probably wondering, what about my Nature’s Spread? The free range eggs?

Find yourself a nice big pot that fits on the bottom shelf. Fill it with water and put it outside overnight. In the morning you’ll have a big block of ice in a convenient container to bring inside and slide into your steampunk ice box. You’ve changed your electric powered freon dependent energy hog into a planet friendly nature powered cooler. A cool cooler.

I suggest using a couple of pots so you can exchange them when the cooler needs a recharge. I find that one ice pot will usually last all day, and in the morning you’ll have a tub of slush to switch with your new ice. Forget the iceman cometh, the iceman is you!

Now it is a fact that this system will not run a freezer, so don’t think twice about smoking that Thanksgiving gobbler. But I promise you that once winter really kicks in, an outdoor box on the north side of the house should keep frozen food frozen. Lock it if you’ve got bears. After a while you’ll wonder why you spent so many years running a refrigerator in a warm house all winter long, when the whole world’s an ice box.

As for that ice cream, if you can crank an emergency radio, you can crank an ice cream making bucket.

And by now you know where to get the ice.

TIM MATSON’s updated new book is The Book of Non-Electric Lighting: The Classic Guide to the Safe Use of Candles, Fuel Lamps, Lanterns, Gaslights & Fireview Stoves. Countryman Press, Woodstock, Vermont.

 

 

 

 

 

More articles by:
Weekend Edition
December 17, 2017
Friday - Sunday
Jeffrey St. Clair - Joshua Frank
Go Ask Alice: the Curious Case of “Alice Donovan”
Weekend Edition
December 15, 2017
Friday - Sunday
Paul Street
What’s Not Happening With Mr. Jones
Timothy M. Gill
The Height of Racial Resentment: White Cops
Andrew Levine
Democrats Have Much to Learn and the Odious Have Much to Teach Them
Luciana Bohne
Operation Jerusalem Capital: Second Balfour Declaration or Arab-Israeli NATO?
Anthony DiMaggio
#MeToo: Women are Speaking Out, Are We Listening?
Jeffrey St. Clair
Out Walked Monk
Ann Robertson - Bill Leumer
The Demoralizing Impact of Trump, But Hope Has Arrived
Samantha Paez – Sandra de los Santos
The Most Dangerous Place for Mexican Women is in the Streets
Martin Billheimer
Assassins of the Image: the CIA as Cultural Gatekeeper
Jérôme Duval
From Slave Trade to Debt: Occupation Disguised as “Discovery”
Vijay Prashad
The October Revolution
John Wight
The Grenfell Fire UK Establishment Circus
Steve Martinot
Twisted Thinking: Police Militarization in Berkeley
Robert Fantina
Juvenile Delinquency in U.S. Government
Dave Lindorff
Stupidity and Blindness Have Destroyed Whatever Democracy the US Ever Had
Pete Dolack
You are Working Harder and Getting Paid Less
Joseph Natoli
The Axioms of the Other
Susan Babbitt
Why Don Quixote?
Ralph Nader
What Does Trump Mean by “Make America Great Again”?
Ramzy Baroud
Towards a New Palestinian Beginning
Binoy Kampmark
Escaping Reality: Roy Moore and the Rage of Decency
Mark Luskus
Corporate Interests Are Warping the Internet
Brian Terrell
A Story of Two Blockades: New York City and Yemen
Ron Jacobs
Sinking in the Swamp
Brian Cloughley
Prepare! Pursue!! Prevail!!!
Matthew Stevenson
Into Africa: The Tanzania-Zambia Train to Nowhere
Jill Richardson
We Agree Assault is Bad, Now Let’s Agree on How to Punish It
Jeremy Corbyn
The Greatest Threats to Our Common Humanity
Walter Clemens – Stephen Advocate
The Amoral Code of America’s Dirty Old Men
Sheldon Richman
Trump & Co.’s Vile Anti-Immigrationism
Jessicah Pierre
Trump’s Cruel Policy on Haitian Refugees
George Wuerthner
Water Rights or Water Privileges?
Nick Pemberton
What I Learned in Ghana 
Missy Comley Beattie
It’s Capitalism
Tom H. Hastings
Stop Trump movement
Thomas Knapp
The Real Internet Censorship Threat
Robert Koehler
Peace on the Far Side of Nuclear Weapons
Kary Love
Christmas Letter to Jesus
Tom Clifford
China: From the Treasure Fleet to One Belt, One Road
Charles R. Larson
Trump’s Blueprint for State Capture
M. Shadee Malaklou
Jay-Z’s 4:44 Moves Black Radical Thought Through and Beyond the Classroom
Michael Dickinson
What About Our Debts, Pope Francis?
Phil Rockstroh
What Was Verifiably Great About America: Fragments of a Memoir Set to a Musical Soundtrack
David Yearsley
Froberger’s Musical Therapy
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail