FacebookTwitterRedditEmail

The Boobus in the Lie

If you really want to hear about it …

Boobus Americanus wouldn’t know himself if he sat beside his doppelganger on a bus. Is this a problem, this chronic Zombie-ism?

Boobus Americanus woiks and woiks HARD. Whattya doin’ Boobus? Woikin hard? “Woikin hard! Woikin, woikin.” Busy, Boobus? “Busy, busy, busy. Woikin’ hard, woikin’ hard!” Well how ’bout this: You can lead a horse to water, but if you do, at least have the guts, compassion and decency to drown him when you get there.

Boobus at the gym, on the treadmill — fitting metaphor — gaze-up at the one-eyed monster. CNN, Fox News, MTV, whatever. Hole in his head receives cathode blast of get-disease, get, get; spunk, smegma. Layers of scar-hardened cerebra Raw sores open to absorb, absorb; soak-in, soak-in. Sponge tissue. Quicker picker upper.

Ego Americanus is dead. Boobus individualus is dead. Boobus persona is dead. In their place? Boobus Americorpus, Incorporated, A Very Limited Liability Company (VLLC). Tax-free.

“Dead slugs leave no trails,” sez Professor B. S. Americanus, Ph.D.

Boobus would be quite fortunate, both spiritually and materially — even now, Big Pharma greedily awaits his senescense — to get killed before he dies. But to live before he dies? That is too much.

Poor Boobus Americanus! His parents are perverts, derelicts, freaks. Papa Republican and Momma Democrat. Whenever Papa “gets his drink on,” he thrashes Momma — and does unspeakable things to Boobus. Momma then both comforts Boobus and turns to him for succor. She confides in him, tells him “we’re not gonna take anymore abuse,” and brings him hope. But once Papa sobers up, or there’s an “external threat” to the household, Momma stands by her man. Subsequently, they both beat on Boobus and send him to sleep in the woodshed. Without any health coverage or supper.

Boobus Americanus says, “Lot’s of people actually made money during the last Great Depression. Why not this one? This new depression all the experts are talking about is gonna be my GREAT OPPORTUNITY!” That’s the spirit, Boobus! Every man for himself. Unless it’s tax-time, or war-time, or corporate-cutback time, in which case it’s every man for THE MAN.

Perhaps the Greatest Icon in the Pantheon of Boobs is the late Evil Knieval. For he sacrificed his own flesh, blood, and just about every bone in his body, for the entertainment of his fellows. A true (RedWhiteAnd) Blue Celebrity. The only man born of woman who comes close to rivaling the Deus Americanus, Knieval, is the King Himself, Elvis, who couldn’t play guitar nearly as well as the black musicians who invented him, nor compose music at all, but did sacrifice his body for the entertainment of his fellows, and unlike the Great Kneival, or Bono (who’s a Boobus, though not Americanus) could somewhat carry a tune.

Boobus Americanus is renowned for his sympathy. Not empathy, which entails the possession of some imagination, but sympathy. “Those poor little bastards!” says Boobus of the Iraqis, Afghanis, Serbians etc. etc. etc. his Nation has blown to bits. “I know. This year, we’ll get the whole neighborhood together, and all the guys and gals at work, and use all our resources to put together an EXTREME Christmas Care Package. It’ll be the bestest, most spectacular Christmas those little critters ever had!” But, Boobus, my dear fellow, most of these people don’t even celebrate Christmas, one might point out. “That’s the whole point, silly,” Boobus will, of course, reply. “That’s why WE’RE over there. To bring Democracy and Christmasize them!”

“Life and Death are REAL things. THIS is neither Life, nor Death. I want OUT,” said Mrs. Americanus, before her lawyer filed the papers.

ADAM ENGEL can be reached at bartlebysamsa65@gmail.com

 

 

 

 

More articles by:

Adam Engel is editor of bluddlefilth.org. Submit your soul to bluddlefilth@yahoo.com. Human units, both foreign and domestic, are encouraged to send text, video, graphic, and audio art(ifacts), so long as they’re bluddlefilthy and from The Depths.

bernie-the-sandernistas-cover-344x550
July 18, 2019
Timothy M. Gill
Bernie Sanders, Anti-Imperialism and Venezuela
W. T. Whitney
Cuba and a New Generation of Leaders Respond to U.S. Anti-People War
Jonathan Cook
How the Goliath of the Jerusalem Settler Movement Persuaded the World It’s Really David
William Hartung
Merger Mania: the Military-Industrial Complex on Steroids
John G. Russell
The Devolution Will Be Televised: Our Body-cam President
Judith Deutsch
Psychology Stories: Children
Dean Baker
The Coal Industry is Not a Major Employer
Binoy Kampmark
Corporate Gangster: Adani’s Pursuit of Scientists
Thomas Knapp
National Polls Don’t Mean Much. Here’s Why.
Thomas Mountain
Africans Solving African Problems; Bringing Peace to Sudan
Ann Garrison
History Is Happening: WikiLeaks, the Global Fourth Estate
Elliot Sperber
Don’t Open the Door 
July 17, 2019
Manuel García, Jr.
Ye Cannot Swerve Me: Moby-Dick and Climate Change
Charles Pierson
Sofi’s Choice
Gary Leupp
Epstein, Jane Doe, and Trump
Rebecca Gordon
I Had an Abortion and Now I’m Not Ashamed
Peter Bolton
In the US and Brazil, Two Trends Underline the Creeping Fascism of Both Governments
Michael Kidder
“Go Back Where You Came From:” an Episode From Canada
Steve Early - Rand Wilson
How Big Strike 30 Years Ago Aided Fight for Single Payer
John W. Whitehead
Sexual Predators in the Power Elite
Michael Welton
Teach the Children Well: the Unrealized Vision In Teaching and Learning in the Residential Schools
Khury Petersen-Smith
Iran’s Not the Aggressor, the US Is
Russell Mokhiber
Kip Sullivan and Dr. Matthew Hahn on How Value Based Programs Are Undermining Medicare and Single Payer
George Ochenski
A Fearless and Free Press is Essential to Our Democracy
Lawrence Wittner
Billionaires and American Politics
Dean Baker
Cheap Shots at the Trump Economy
July 16, 2019
Conn Hallinan
The World Needs a Water Treaty
Kenneth Surin
Britain Grovels: the Betrayal of the British Ambassador
Christopher Ketcham
This Land Was Your Land
Gary Leupp
What Right Has Britain to Seize an Iranian Tanker Off Spain?
Evaggelos Vallianatos
Democratic Virtues in Electing a President
Thomas Knapp
Free Speech Just isn’t That Complicated
Binoy Kampmark
The Resigning Ambassador
Howard Lisnoff
Everybody Must Get Stoned
Nicky Reid
Nukes For Peace?
Matt Johnson
The United States of Overreaction
Cesar Chelala
Children’s Trafficking and Exploitation is a Persistent, Dreary Phenomenon
Martin Billheimer
Sylvan Shock Theater
July 15, 2019
David Altheide
The Fear Party
Roger Harris
UN High Commissioner on Human Rights Bachelet’s Gift to the US: Justifying Regime Change in Venezuela
John Feffer
Pyongyang on the Potomac
Vincent Kelley
Jeffrey Epstein and the Collapse of Europe
Robert Fisk
Trump’s Hissy-Fit Over Darroch Will Blow a Chill Wind Across Britain’s Embassies in the Middle East
Binoy Kampmark
Juggling with the Authoritarians: Donald Trump’s Diplomatic Fake Book
Dean Baker
The June Jobs Report and the State of the Economy
FacebookTwitterRedditEmail