FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail

Why I Like Ann Coulter

A week has passed since Annie Coulter uttered her latest cluster bomb of a soundbite. Like cluster bombs, a hollow shell drops from Annie’s drawn, wrinkled mouth and thousands of bomblets explode in the liberal media in response.

As a veteran teaser, I recognize an ancient shtick when I see one. When I was a child, engaging in childish behavior, I would tease my little sister unmercifully. She was the perfect target for my cruel gags because she always bit the bait. Whether I was making her toys appear and reappear or pretending that I was dead, she’d inevitably cry or get angry. In the mid-1960s she tearfully accused me of being “just like the Viet Cong.” I bemusedly asked her why and she replied “they put chopsticks in peoples’ ears.”

Like my sister, every time itsy-bitsy, teensy-weensy, skinny-minny Annie Coulter flaps her gums, steam shoots from the ears of progressives and self-proclaimed decent folk and they publish apoplectic jeremiads against her. This is precisely what she wants. She allegedly charges twixt $25,001 and $50,000 for each personal appearance before the invade-their-countries-kill-their-leaders-convert-them-to-Christianity crowd. Every controversy over her remarks ups her profile and profitability. Yet the politically correct marks seem oblivious to the fact that they’re being used.

Personally, I like her. She’s a self-made caricature, a combo of Joe McCarthy and aging, anorexic, blonde supermodel. At least she’s original in this respect. But more importantly, I’m thoroughly entertained by her. She makes me laugh. While she has none of the deep morality, innate decency, or wit of the late Lenny Bruce, she, like him, obliterates notions of that horrible falsehood called “nice.” This is not a nice world we live in and Annie Coulter proves that the right-wing are not nice people, but racists, homophobes, greedheads, and murderers. Like Lenny, Annie speaks The Truth. For that alone, she serves a crucial purpose, one for which I am grateful.

The next time Annie sticks chopsticks into the collective ear of the left, I suggest that the overly sensitive ignore her. If the Coulters of the world had their way, they’d execute me, but they haven’t completely trashed the Constitution just yet. I eagerly await Annie’s next performance. It’s a grim world and I need the laugh.

MICHAEL SIMMONS is an award-winning journalist and currently filming a documentary on the Yippies. He can be reached at guydebord@sbcglobal.net.

 

More articles by:

Michael Simmons is a musician and journalist. He can be reached at guydebord@sbcglobal.net.

April 23, 2018
Patrick Cockburn
In Middle East Wars It Pays to be Skeptical
Thomas Knapp
Just When You Thought “Russiagate” Couldn’t Get Any Sillier …
Gregory Barrett
The Moral Mask
Robert Hunziker
Chemical Madness!
David Swanson
Senator Tim Kaine’s Brief Run-In With the Law
Dave Lindorff
Starbucks Has a Racism Problem
Uri Avnery
The Great Day
Nyla Ali Khan
Girls Reduced to Being Repositories of Communal and Religious Identities in Kashmir
Ted Rall
Stop Letting Trump Distract You From Your Wants and Needs
Steve Klinger
The Cautionary Tale of Donald J. Trump
Kevin Zeese - Margaret Flowers
Conflict Over the Future of the Planet
Cesar Chelala
Gideon Levy: A Voice of Sanity from Israel
Weekend Edition
April 20, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Paul Street
Ruling Class Operatives Say the Darndest Things: On Devils Known and Not
Conn Hallinan
The Great Game Comes to Syria
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Mother of War
Andrew Levine
“How Come?” Questions
Doug Noble
A Tale of Two Atrocities: Douma and Gaza
Kenneth Surin
The Blight of Ukania
Howard Lisnoff
How James Comey Became the Strange New Hero of the Liberals
William Blum
Anti-Empire Report: Unseen Persons
Lawrence Davidson
Missiles Over Damascus
Patrick Cockburn
The Plight of the Yazidi of Afrin
Pete Dolack
Fooled Again? Trump Trade Policy Elevates Corporate Power
Stan Cox
For Climate Mobilization, Look to 1960s Vietnam Before Turning to 1940s America
William Hawes
Global Weirding
Dan Glazebrook
World War is Still in the Cards
Nick Pemberton
In Defense of Cardi B: Beyond Bourgeois PC Culture
Ishmael Reed
Hollywood’s Last Days?
Peter Certo
There Was Nothing Humanitarian About Our Strikes on Syria
Dean Baker
China’s “Currency Devaluation Game”
Ann Garrison
Why Don’t We All Vote to Commit International Crimes?
LEJ Rachell
The Baddest Black Power Artist You Never Heard Of
Lawrence Ware
All Hell Broke Out in Oklahoma
Franklin Lamb
Tehran’s Syria: Lebanon Colonization Project is Collapsing
Donny Swanson
Janus v. AFSCME: What’s It All About?
Will Podmore
Brexit and the Windrush Britons
Brian Saady
Boehner’s Marijuana Lobbying is Symptomatic of Special-Interest Problem
Julian Vigo
Google’s Delisting and Censorship of Information
Patrick Walker
Political Dynamite: Poor People’s Campaign and the Movement for a People’s Party
Fred Gardner
Medical Board to MDs: Emphasize Dangers of Marijuana
Rob Seimetz
We Must Stand In Solidarity With Eric Reid
Missy Comley Beattie
Remembering Barbara Bush
Wim Laven
Teaching Peace in a Time of Hate
Thomas Knapp
Freedom is Winning in the Encryption Arms Race
Mir Alikhan
There Won’t be Peace in Afghanistan Until There’s Peace in Kashmir
FacebookTwitterGoogle+RedditEmail