?You can tell them that I?m not leaving. We love Lebanon.?


BEIRUT — I have started coughing, but I don’t know why. I am not sick. I don’t have a cold.  I think it’s a reaction I’m having to stress. My body feels weak. My mouth is always dry, no matter how much water I drink. And I’m afraid to drink too much water because I don’t want it to run out!

Last night was probably the most frightful night I have ever experienced in my whole entire life. I was so tired and exhausted… have not slept in days. When there is finally a quiet moment, the tension in my stomach and heart prevents me from falling asleep. Last night we counted at least 15 bombs falling into Dahiyeh (Beirut Suburbs) … and these were just the ones we heard. At some point during the night, I said to myself that if I didn’t at least try to get some sleep that I was going to go crazy from fatigue; and that was what was going to kill me. Haven’t been able to eat either, so am losing physical strength. It’s all psychological at this point. I know I have to be strong, and I will be, but I can’t deny what I’m going through. And I think it’s important that people hear about the downside as well as the bravery. So many of us are already working hard to fix things, we are running around Beirut trying to get food and water and medicine to people, we are doing things online, etc, but it doesn’t mean we are not scared, sick or tired.

So, last night amidst the worst shelling we’ve had so far, I realized that I was not afraid of the noise anymore; how quickly you get used to it. I realized what was hurting the most was the “UNKNOWN”. What is going to happen tomorrow? When will this all end? How are we going to start re-building again? Are the refugees going to be ok? How are the people in the south? And why punish a whole country? What is the real plan behind all of this? How much worse is it going to get? My husband and I have been housing foreign “refugees” helping them to find their way out of the country. Two managed to leave this morning, a German and Swiss. The other two are British and American. The craziest thing is that out of all people, the American embassy has been the LEASThelpful to its citizens here. The phone line to the embassy has been practically out of service. My friend, Amanda,(whom I just met a few days ago, by the way) had to hire a cab  to take her to the embassy (which is a ride out of Beirut) and all they could tell her was that they didn’t know what they were going to do and to keep checking the website. Only thing she has gotten on the website is that she now knows that there is going to be an evacuation (5 day later), but when it happens, she is going to have to pay for it! Yes, they are saying to their citizens that they are going to bill them for their ride out!  Can you believe that?!

Trying to evacuate people has put me under stress. Thequestion is what am I to do if I had the opportunity toleave? Would I leave? What do I do with my friends? Myfamily? My art studio? I have a British passport; I could be evacuated with my husband. But what would happen to my best friend Maya? She has a very rare and bad case of cancer! I have been taking care of her since she was diagnosed a few months ago and I know that my care for her is what has helped her do so well. Her type of cancer is “untreatable”, but ironically, the day the shelling started, her doctor told us her tumors had shrunk! Unbelievable- a true miracle. I can’t leave Maya!

What about art work in my studio? What about all my brushes and paints and glitter and books! All my books! Again — the crazy things that cross your mind. What about our photo albums? All our family pictures? The memories… What about the doodles I drew on my balcony a few summers ago when I was suffering from a bad break up? What about all the love letters I have saved? Letters that document my youth that I wanted to some day give to my daughter.

What about my other best friend? My dog, Tampopo? My beautiful Jack Russel Terrier who has never let me down. Who has always been a source of purity and compassion… Who has eyes of an angel… Dogs are not allowed to evacuate. MyAmerican friend Christine is going to have to leave her dog with me; a black pug named Baousi (means Kiss in Arabic).She is heartbroken! She almost didn’t want to evacuate. She went to so many embassies to try and register with them andsee if they would take her dog. Don’t worry Christine, Iwill take great care of Baousi.

My sister has been volunteering to help the refugees who are being sheltered in public schools. Right now they are calling on Lebanese citizens to help out with money, medicine, food, water, blankets and mattresses. She has been going to people and asking for money and then going out to buy medicines for refugees- her own initiative! My mom has joined in too. A friend has put together a website foraccepting donations:


Biggest cynical statement of the day: Israel has told people to evacuate from the south because they are going to annihilate the south of Lebanon. However, the people can not leave because all the roads have been destroyed/blocked. And yesterday when people did try and leave, the Israelis opened fire on them! A massacre is happening!

Update on the attacks, as of yesterday:

Israelis have been bombing the south of Lebanon with phosphorus and other chemical bombs.

Israelis have bombed all ports along the coastline of Lebanon.

Israelis have bombed all our local army radars and some outposts

Israelis have bombed/attacked the fire fighting brigade and    the Search and Rescue Brigade in the South. Innocent civilian lives were lost. It was a massacre – the buildings were also housing refugees.

Israelis have continued to bomb the suburb of Beirut,

Dahiyeh & Haret Hreik

Israelis have now killed over 100 civilians and there are several hundreds wounded – and they continue to bomb the south

Israelis have started hitting roads that lead to the mountains. They hit a main one leading to the Shouf.

Israelis have hit a gas plant in the mountains… I can’t keep up with what they have hit.

*** Israel has begun to target Lebanese army outposts. They have killed Lebanese soldiers. They are no longer just targeting Hizuballah. They mean to kill all of Lebanon.

The reality:

Israel is trying to bring Lebanon to its knees. Israel is trying to destroy Lebanon and the Lebanese spirit. Israel is trying to turn Lebanese  against each other. Israel is trying to turn us into animals scrounging for food, water and shelter. Israel and the United States of America are trying to drag Syria and Iran into this too. They are using Lebanon as bait. Lebanon is stuck in the middle. The Americans and Israelis are trying to launch a regional war!!

Please help in any way you can.Please pass on the message, this email – reprint if you wish.Please tell people what is going on.Please put pressure on your respective governments to step in and do something.

Lebanon is a peaceful country. We are the only country in the region in which people of all religions co-exist peacefully.

It is unbelievable how biased the news is. They are not reporting the real damage  being caused. They don’t report that the Israelis are killing innocent civilians.

Are the Israeli & US government really just trying to wipe us all out? Well, you can tell them that I’m not leaving. And there are many of us who are not leaving. We love Lebanon. We love what we have spent our lives building.

Tell them about people like me who build culture and tolerance. Who work for peace and understanding. Who work to educate. Who work to promote love and compassion. There are thousands like me here. What about us?

Tell them about people like me, that despite all of this, I have still not learnt to hate. They can take everything from me, but not my dignity. Not my morals and beliefs. They will never never break my spirit.

Tell the Israeli citizens what their government is doing to us. Tell them that violence begets violence. Remind them that Lebanon is their neighbor and that co-existence is possible. How are we going to ever reach an understanding through violence? We were so close… We were so close…

Please stop this brutality!

Still with love,


By the way, did I mention Maya’s tumors are getting smaller?Did I mention there was a wedding across the street yesterday?

Don’t know how much longer this email will still be up for,but in case of an emergency, there is always ziggydoodle@yahoo.com









More articles by:
March 19, 2018
Henry Heller
The Moment of Trump
John Davis
Pristine Buildings, Tarnished Architect
Uri Avnery
The Fake Enemy
Patrick Cockburn
The Fall of Afrin and the Next Phase of the Syrian War
Nick Pemberton
The Democrats Can’t Save Us
Nomi Prins 
Jared Kushner, RIP: a Political Obituary for the President’s Son-in-Law
Georgina Downs
The Double Standards and Hypocrisy of the UK Government Over the ‘Nerve Agent’ Spy Poisoning
Dean Baker
Trump and the Federal Reserve
Colin Todhunter
The Strategy of Tension Towards Russia and the Push to Nuclear War
Kevin Zeese - Margaret Flowers
US Empire on Decline
Ralph Nader
Ahoy America, Give Trump a Taste of His Own Medicine Starting on Trump Imitation Day
Robert Dodge
Eliminate Nuclear Weapons by Divesting from Them
Laura Finley
Shame on You, Katy Perry
Weekend Edition
March 16, 2018
Friday - Sunday
Michael Uhl
The Tip of the Iceberg: My Lai Fifty Years On
Bruce E. Levine
School Shootings: Who to Listen to Instead of Mainstream Shrinks
Mel Goodman
Caveat Emptor: MSNBC and CNN Use CIA Apologists for False Commentary
Paul Street
The Obama Presidency Gets Some Early High Historiography
Kathy Deacon
Me, My Parents and Red Scares Long Gone
Jeffrey St. Clair
Roaming Charges: Rexless Abandon
Andrew Levine
Good Enemies Are Hard To Find: Therefore Worry
Jim Kavanagh
What to Expect From a Trump / Kim Summit
Ron Jacobs
Trump and His Tariffs
Joshua Frank
Drenched in Crude: It’s an Oil Free For All, But That’s Not a New Thing
Gary Leupp
What If There Was No Collusion?
Matthew Stevenson
Why Vietnam Still Matters: Bernard Fall Dies on the Street Without Joy
Robert Fantina
Bad to Worse: Tillerson, Pompeo and Haspel
Brian Cloughley
Be Prepared, Iran, Because They Want to Destroy You
Richard Moser
What is Organizing?
Scott McLarty
Working Americans Need Independent Politics
Rohullah Naderi
American Gun Violence From an Afghan Perspective
Sharmini Peries - Michael Hudson
Why Trump’s Tariff Travesty Will Not Re-Industrialize the US
Ted Rall
Democrats Should Run on Impeachment
Robert Fisk
Will We Ever See Al Jazeera’s Investigation Into the Israel Lobby?
Kristine Mattis
Superunknown: Scientific Integrity Within the Academic and Media Industrial Complexes
John W. Whitehead
Say No to “Hardening” the Schools with Zero Tolerance Policies and Gun-Toting Cops
Edward Hunt
UN: US Attack On Syrian Civilians Violated International Law
Barbara Nimri Aziz
Iraq Outside History
Wilfred Burchett
Vietnam Will Win: The Long Hard Road
Victor Grossman
Germany: New Faces, Old Policies
Medea Benjamin - Nicolas J. S. Davies
The Iraq Death Toll 15 Years After the US Invasion
Binoy Kampmark
Amazon’s Initiative: Digital Assistants, Home Surveillance and Data
Chuck Collins
Business Leaders Agree: Inequality Hurts The Bottom Line
Jill Richardson
What We Talk About When We Talk About “Free Trade”
Eric Lerner – Jay Arena
A Spark to a Wider Fire: Movement Against Immigrant Detention in New Jersey
Negin Owliaei
Teachers Deserve a Raise: Here’s How to Fund It