Secretary of Lies


Rumsfeld is a pathological liar.

Nothing he says can be trusted. In 6 years, he’s never uttered a completely reliable statement, just convoluted pronouncements that have to be parsed by experts. That’s why it was so satisfying to see him skewered by Ray McGovern’s questions. McGovern had Rumsfeld backpedaling like he’d just been harpooned. Honesty has that kind of effect on people like Rumsfeld; that’s why they surround themselves with goons like a Mafia kingpin. They need a human-shield to protect them from the truth.

The American people have been ripped off big-time by Rummy. From the onset, it’s been one wretched excuse after another. Nothing is ever his fault; not the occupation; not the lack of soldiers; not the looting in Baghdad, not the faulty-armor, not the resistance, nothing. Ever!

Every errant bomb, every wayward missile, every downed helicopter, every dead soldier, is someone else’s fault.

Teflon Don; the biggest buck-passing narcissist the country has ever produced.

When the photos showed up from Abu Ghraib, Rumsfeld feigned surprise. “A few bad apples”, he moaned. Now we know he did everything except fit the prisoners with women’s underwear.

Nice touch, eh?

Twisted bastard.

Now he’s deployed troops in the United States and has a regional headquarters in Colorado (NorthCom) to spy on American citizens; all part of a sick plan to militarize the country and show everyone what a smart guy he is.

That’s what it’s all about isn’t it? An egomaniac trying to show everyone how brilliant he is? The only problem is he’s failed at everything he’s tried. Every part of the occupation has been so badly botched it’s totally beyond repair. Now, the London-based Senlis-Council is reporting that Afghanistan is unraveling, too.

Should we be surprised?

Iraq, Afghanistan, Haiti; flop, flop, flop, one failure after another.

“We know where the weapons arethey’re in the area around Tikrit”.

What a joke; it’s like a carnival huckster pitching snake-oil to farm boys; nothing but smoke and mirrors; nothing but intellectual flatulence.

Or this:

“As we know, there are known knowns. And there are things we know we know. We also know there are known unknowns. That is to say we know there are some things we do not know, but there are also unknown unknowns, the ones we don’t know we don’t know.”

What type of flim-flam is that? Just more smart-ass, circuitous bullshit meant to impress and confuse; the clever blabbering of confidence man.

Is that what passes for honesty at the Pentagon?

This is what the truth sounds like:

“The decision to invade Iraq, was done with a casualness and swagger that are the special province of those who have never had to execute these missions “or bury the results.” Lt. Gen. Gregory Newbold

That’s right; “or bury the results”.

Here’s another Rumsfeld gem describing the war on terror:

“Things will not be necessarily continuous. The fact that they are something other than perfectly continuous ought not to be characterized as a pause. There will be some things that people will see. There will be some things that people won’t see. And life goes on” (Oct. 12, 2001, Department of Defense news briefing)

More tortured language; more oblique banter; more meaningless gibberish.

Now, compare that to the candor of one of his strongest critics:

(Rumsfeld is) “incompetent strategically, operationally and tactically” he has “put the Pentagon at the mercy of his ego, his Cold-Warrior’s view of the world, and his unrealistic confidence in technology to replace manpower.” Army Maj. Gen. Paul Eaton.


So what’s Rumsfeld’s reward for 6 years of bungling?

MIKE WHITNEY lives in Washington state. He can be reached at:




MIKE WHITNEY lives in Washington state. He is a contributor to Hopeless: Barack Obama and the Politics of Illusion (AK Press). Hopeless is also available in a Kindle edition. He can be reached at